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Just learned that one of my favourite comedians Norm McDonald passed away from cancer. It ain't a losing battle. It's a draw. 2020s are taking way too many good men.

now i know to never trust a merchant if I ever chance upon visiting Bandung, Indonesia

i think i speak for a small quadrant of the community when I say that while it's very commendable and cheery that you take motherhood this seriously and that we're happy for you, we REALLY don't need a near bidaily update on, well, the breastfeeding. knowing it once or twice is great but by the...

I'll go around school dumpsters, collect empty pens and resell them individually as a wandering penny merchant at local food courts during weekend mornings where families have their breakfasts. If that seemed specific, yes, it happened to me. Most expensive one-fifty I've ever lost. that...

Granted, your country is now invaded by a patriotic fascist state and they have official functions every day, essentially watering the song down via repetition. Unless you just REALLY like Coldplay, then shit, all the more power to you. I wish to be hydrated moderately.

Granted, as equivalent exchange, every sandwich in the world is now made by Subway. I wish to rule the world and see the seas rise when I give my words.

look, i write racist and queerphobic posts online. I kill kittens, kick dogs, and trip over grandmothers. I leave the toilet seat down when I pee in public bathrooms and leave chocolate coins in tips jars early in the morning so that when they collect it the entire bottom half would be melted...

jesus christ all these vanilla answers are making me feel like scum. don't you guys like some depravity? earn some cash? get some rabid fans you can mooch off of? am I the only morally deprived one here?

Granted, now everyone just reproduces via mitosis. I wish for a creampie.

Granted, I just received a new Himlayan child slave. Thanks. I want a pencil.

Granted, you're the mess hall's communal sodomy cum dump. I wish for two cars.

Granted, now internet is banned in Yugoslavia as a whole. The site's available, of course, but good luck getting a 5G connection there. I wish for a car.

on the flip side, there should be an incentive/reward/subsidy for those who adopt these unwanted eggs. this is just my stance on adopting other kids in general. you're essentially picking the responsibility of someone who didn't want a child but didn't want to get an abortion. whether the...

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