The One Above Me has posters of themselves all around town asking 'Have you seen my cat? It isn't lost or anything, I just wanted you to see how awesome he is.'
I always loved the use of a natural phenomenon to lead into the scene.
The first chapter of the Wheel of Time comes to mind...
Born below the ever cloud-capped peaks that gave the mountains their name, the wind blew east, out across the Sand Hills, once the shore of a great ocean, before the...
it was 123456, just like his luggage.
The one above me is cursed to live their life as a simple pen holder, a sheath for the weapon that once defeated the gun, but is slowly fading to insignificance as ignorance wins against true understanding....
What is all this white crap outside my house this morning! It is Unacceptable!
We need more global warming to prevent future disasters like this one. Quickly Everyone! Go for a leisuraly drive today and empty out your gas tank! That will show'em!
Mine will be just a standard sabre... its frequency will be outside of the visible light spectrum. My terrifying weapon will be unseen until it connects with something, causing chaos around me.
You drill your own with that thing.
Edit
That amount of elephantids would be horrible... unless it was a literal pencil dick, any time that MC gets turned on, he would probably pass out due to blood loss to the brain.