Azhurie_Mythephan

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

I was eating cornflakes two days ago(haven't slept in two days without realizing it), and my mother walked into the kitchen and said, "who's fucking you?" and I was genuinely confused, because I didn't realize that I make muffled sensual moans while I eat cornflakes. I haven't eaten cornflakes in years, but just decided to that day, and wasn't expecting this.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

Every single time my oldest younger brother gets a fever, he has Vietnam War flashbacks. He screams out for his comrades, only to cry desperately a moment later.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

I was drinking a soda, and eating some watermelon, and I just decided that I was going to check my news feed, and the first thing I see causes me to start laughing, and choking, so hard that I thought I was going to die. It's still funny.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 20, 2025

my new kitten, leaning on me.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 20, 2025

I was going to sit at my computer for a bit, but then I walked over to the desk, and forgot that there is a 30 lb watermelon sitting in my chair. That chair is the only one in the house that doesn't cut off my circulation when I sit on it. Even the couches commit evil against me, unless I lay on them instead of sitting. I can't see what the keyboard says from my height, even with my glasses on.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 19, 2025

I have awoken, and my split lip healed wrong, so I tore it again, but this time, on purpose, so that I can get it to heal right.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 19, 2025

I split my lower lip. It hurts when I smile or eat salt.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 17, 2025

The first time I gained consciousness was at my parent's wedding. After that, the next time was around Christmas, when I ate all of the lead paint off of an antique Christmas ornament. The lead paint was kind of sweet, and was almost enough, by the time's standards, to give me lead poisoning. Current standards, however, have me getting lead poisoning.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 16, 2025

The sword of time will pierce our skin~♪
It doesn't hurt when it begins~♪
But as it works its way on in~♪
The pain grows stronger~♪
Watch it grin~♪

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 16, 2025

If you wash your mouth out with soap, is the soap dirty, or is your mouth clean?

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 15, 2025

Whenever you feel sad, just remember, It could be worse... there are people in Canada... Japan is a place, and people live there...

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 14, 2025

First time I read that kind of story, it was the demons from hell, next was the demons from the red fog, then we had the demons from another universe, now, we have the demons from the abyss. Why is it always demons as the world enemy with these secretly not-so-secretly super overworked Chinese writer guy mans? Bruh, the humans were more evil to each other than even the demons in hell in the first one I read.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 14, 2025

I went to the store earlier, but there was a stoner sitting on the ground outside the front door when I came out, stoned out of his gourd, asking for money.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 13, 2025

I just went to the store, and several of the items I got point to the actual existence of the mythical country of France, and I was in shock.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 13, 2025

I must clarify that the previous post that I made that was deleted(first time one of my posts on my profile was deleted by anyone other than me actually(I think, I would remember)), was a joke, but i forgot to say it as such. I do not really hate society, but it could be a lot better.(note: do not dive into politics)

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 12, 2025

I literally nailed my Portuguese neighbor to a cross during a church play once, and it was hilarious. I think that he is being traumatized by his wife right now, because she is going through a midlife crisis, and she joined a cult that has had several FBI raids done on it, as well as sold her house and moved to the other side of the country.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 12, 2025

A fencing master once foiled my plans...

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 12, 2025

I was, am, and will be hungry.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 12, 2025

I hate the HOA, or as I call them, the gaycHhOgAy.

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  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 12, 2025

"Ragebaiting" is only called this way because it sounds better than "verbal abuse" or "harassment", and also sounds better than saying "I am a dickbag, and a sicko, and enjoy it when others are in mental anguish". This naming is designed to protect the person who is being verbally abusive from having their over-inflated and unearned ego shatter into tiny pieces.