Feedback for my novel "Hyoren Enjo Journey on Another World". And how should i proceed with chapter length.

A

articarson

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www.scribblehub.com

Hyoren Enjo Journey on Another World

Hyoren Enjo opened his eyes alone in a forest that kills everything that enters it — no map, no explanation, just a system he could barely hear and a body that refused to quit. Whatever brought him here made a mistake. It left him to figure the rest out himself. Fifty...
www.scribblehub.com www.scribblehub.com

I did write my first novel here.

I did write 10-11k words per chapter. And i read in forum that word count per chapter is too long.

If i want to split it into 2 or 3 parts. Should i delete all my current chapter and reupload.

Or create new submission?

Also any feedback is welcomed.
 
D

DismaiNaim

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I read almost halfway through the first chapter and got bored.

First, it's clear English isn't your first language. The fact alone that you're able to write anything in a foreign language is damned impressive, so already you're better than me. If I set aside my reflex at being a grammar-nazi and allow your 'accent' to shine as your narrative voice, this is delicious. I don't know how well other readers will respond to it, but I like it. It also proves this isn't AI writing, which is also a huge plus.

Second, the intro is decent. MC wakes up in another world, and sets about surviving. It works as a hook.

Now for the hard part. It gets repetitive real quick, and not in a good way.

You repeatedly call back survival training with his father and repeat the same motif of MC being annoyed at the time but appreciating it now. About the tenth time you do this, I'm like, "ok I get it now."

The "formula" solution for this would be to have an opening chapter where you walk your audience through his life the day before he gets isekai'd — show him interacting with his father who wants to take him out survival training but instead he wants to stay home and read fantasy. This would establish a baseline for a lot of the stuff you end up repeating.

Worse, You kill every opportunity for tension before it grows. He needs water -> there's water. He's attacked by bunny monster -> kills bunny monster. Needs food -> there's food. Need shelter -> finds shelter. Every obstacle is solved one or two paragraphs after it's presented, and it's waaaay to easy. This is your biggest, worst sin, and I think this is the main reason I got bored.

You have "scary monsters," then as soon as he kills one the rest of them are just props.

He needs to find shelter, but ask yourself this: what if he doesn't find any? Problems going unsolved, questions unanswered, that's what drives your reader forward
 
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articarson

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I see. I guess my opening chapter is still weak.
The lack of tension is indeed what bother me after i go back to it.

I kinda want to create capable MC but ended making the story to boring.

He did receive more tension after i realized he was too capable. But right i need to tune my opening chapter first.

About the lenght. And split up chapter.

Should i create another submission. Or just use this while deleting all old chapter and reupload them?
 
Eldoria

Eldoria

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articarson said:
www.scribblehub.com

Hyoren Enjo Journey on Another World

Hyoren Enjo opened his eyes alone in a forest that kills everything that enters it — no map, no explanation, just a system he could barely hear and a body that refused to quit. Whatever brought him here made a mistake. It left him to figure the rest out himself. Fifty...
www.scribblehub.com www.scribblehub.com

I did write my first novel here.

I did write 10-11k words per chapter. And i read in forum that word count per chapter is too long.

If i want to split it into 2 or 3 parts. Should i delete all my current chapter and reupload.

Or create new submission?

Also any feedback is welcomed.
Click to expand...
Your chapters are like giants, dude. My advice is simple: break them down into smaller chapters. For example, Chapter 1: Chapter Title Part 1, Chapter 2: Chapter Title Part 2, etc.

Each chapter should be 1k-3k words. Then release your chapters regularly, a chapter per day. You need visibility to attract engagement.

As a side note: Since you've already released it, you shouldn't delete it. Instead, change the content. For example, chapter 1, which has 10k words, could be changed to chapter 1: Chapter Title Part 1 with 1k words; chapter 2, which has 11k words, could be changed to chapter 2: Chapter Title Part 2 with 2k words; etc.
 
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D

DismaiNaim

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The way I do it [and I'm not exactly NYT bestseller here] is each chapter is its own story, its own tension, its own thesis. Yes, they tie together with the broader narrative, but [in theory] each chapter works as a standalone short.

That way [in theory] a reader can pick up one chapter after taking a year-long hiatus and get a good story out of it even if they forgot everything else it's connected to.
 
Emotica

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Oh boy, I think making any changes based on numbers is the riskiest thing there is. If everyone followed the norms, we'd have very little diversity in media. Especially when the norms prioritize the actual author and their work last. I'd say if you didn't split your chapters before, there was likely a logical reason. Maybe it was a lapse of judgement and you really could split the chapter, but I think it's more important to have author intent and integrity than bow to an algorithm. The real question is; why did your chapter end where it did? Why didn't it end before that? If your chapter is too long, readers would have to be engaged already to determine that. The worst case scenario is they don't finish the chapter. If it's short, they may finish it, but who's to say they don't get to the same spot and stop reading? The only benefit, I assume, to shorter chapter lengths is maybe the algorithm? But if the algorithm jumped off the bridge, would you jump off too? At least when publishers and editors have suggestions about things like this you might be on your way to a fat paycheck, but I'd trust your gut.

Remember there are no hard rules in writing. I checked out your chapters, and I'd say the real issue is the one line at a time thing. That can make it seem longer than it is when the human brain is more accustomed to reading things quickly. Another reason why 10k isn't too long for a chapter. I can't see why any actual reader would be like "nooo there's too much of this story I like." As long as your pacing is good, and you're not meandering, you should be golden. I'm not sure what global attention spans are in 2026, but so much of modern writing is based on short attention spans. If that's paramount to you, capturing that audience, then you certainly have to write punchier, but if you're just telling your story, and this is how it is, I say keep doing what you're doing and your audience will find you. I don't think short attention spans are killing reading. I think bending over for short attention spans is alienating the more diehard readers. Nobody's going to the bookstore and counting the words in each chapter before they buy it.
 
Eldoria

Eldoria

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DismaiNaim said:
The way I do it [and I'm not exactly NYT bestseller here] is each chapter is its own story, its own tension, its own thesis. Yes, they tie together with the broader narrative, but [in theory] each chapter works as a standalone short.

That way [in theory] a reader can pick up one chapter after taking a year-long hiatus and get a good story out of it even if they forgot everything else it's connected to.
Click to expand...
Your approach is very similar to mine. It's nice to find other members with a similar approach.
 
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articarson

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Emotica said:
Oh boy, I think making any changes based on numbers is the riskiest thing there is. If everyone followed the norms, we'd have very little diversity in media. Especially when the norms prioritize the actual author and their work last. I'd say if you didn't split your chapters before, there was likely a logical reason. Maybe it was a lapse of judgement and you really could split the chapter, but I think it's more important to have author intent and integrity than bow to an algorithm. The real question is; why did your chapter end where it did? Why didn't it end before that? If your chapter is too long, readers would have to be engaged already to determine that. The worst case scenario is they don't finish the chapter. If it's short, they may finish it, but who's to say they don't get to the same spot and stop reading? The only benefit, I assume, to shorter chapter lengths is maybe the algorithm? But if the algorithm jumped off the bridge, would you jump off too? At least when publishers and editors have suggestions about things like this you might be on your way to a fat paycheck, but I'd trust your gut.

Remember there are no hard rules in writing. I checked out your chapters, and I'd say the real issue is the one line at a time thing. That can make it seem longer than it is when the human brain is more accustomed to reading things quickly. Another reason why 10k isn't too long for a chapter. I can't see why any actual reader would be like "nooo there's too much of this story I like." As long as your pacing is good, and you're not meandering, you should be golden. I'm not sure what global attention spans are in 2026, but so much of modern writing is based on short attention spans. If that's paramount to you, capturing that audience, then you certainly have to write punchier, but if you're just telling your story, and this is how it is, I say keep doing what you're doing and your audience will find you. I don't think short attention spans are killing reading. I think bending over for short attention spans is alienating the more diehard readers. Nobody's going to the bookstore and counting the words in each chapter before they buy it.
Click to expand...
I write long chapter before because I often write what my character do in one day or at least, one mini arc, in single sitting before deciding "this was enough for now".

So it tends to be so long.
I can split them to two or three without problem, but i decide not to before to keep my organization better.
In word processor it was easier to me to keep track what happened if it is that long.

But if general prefer shorter chapter. Then i will split it.

I just confused on what should i do with the "how".
 
Eldoria

Eldoria

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articarson said:
But if general prefer shorter chapter. Then i will split it.

I just confused on what should i do with the "how"
Click to expand...
You can use a cliffhanger ending to cut off your chapters. Cut the chapter at a crucial or pivotal moment.

This will keep the reader's curiosity piqued, making them more likely to press the next button.
 
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articarson

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yeah thanks for the feedback. i will still write mostly a bit long chapter. but maybe not 10k+ chapter unless it was really necessary. i will properly split them whenever i can.
 
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