Recent content by GreenStudio

You might remember me. I'm not sure if this is allowed but I made a ton of changes to my story and would like to know your thoughts. Totally get it if your answer is no. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2244075/cursed-crowned-crimson/ And my prime number is 71.

Alice Inari from my series.:blob_aww:

Personally, as long as the dialogue is fun and I can tell who's who, I'll enjoy it. Doesn't' matter the genre or the plot or how deep the world is. Watching people talk has always been a hobby of mine.:blob_melt: But yeah, most people would probably prefer a deeper world. I'll never forgive...

I just made revisions to all of these. I also completely changed the turning point with the gun to make it less cringe and more "interesting." I'm still learning. I'm always incorporating what I hear. I just end up asking a lot of questions to get the most clarity I can. Sorry if I made anyone...

Thank you, man. This is some critique I can get behind.

This is 100% correct. The problem at hand though is that you keep separating the narrator and Akuma. They are one in the same. The only reason I chose 3rd person limited instead of 1st person is to give distance. Now this I can get behind. I had thought I did this with this moment here: I'll...

Lol. Believe me, I know these people are crazy. Unfortunately, my story features many, many gods and beliefs. The main villains are literally angels. At some point I'd have to reveal the truth. I know it'll offend a lot of people, but I'm not here to masquerade my story under the guise of...

You're the second person to express dislike about the intro. I understand that it doesn't really mesh with an ordinary world, but that's exactly why I added it. So the reader can know that there was world beyond this one. That way when this scene pops us: It works as foreshadowing to the fact...

I can get behind that. I do hold out on Akuma to keep him at a distance. It's a double edged sword.

Just a little. Mostly, why did you assume the Pov was omniscient? It is a limited. Even in the intro, the narrator is constantly speaking in Akuma's voice. I'm also hesitant on your advice for the dialogue. You completely changed Akuma's character to be more expressive. I also find your...

Thank you for this, greatly. I really do appreciate you taking the time to go through my story and share your thoughts like this. You've given me tons of ideas already.

The way Mushoku shows Rudeus' inability to naturally feel things because of his over the top self-awareness. He constantly overthinks and subtly distances himself. Until his wall slowly fall thanks to those around him. I try to do the same with my mc. Touma's whole hero aesthetic. He was tossed...

I see your point. I'll definitely look it over once again and see what I can do. And sorry if it came off as debating, I really was just curious.

Why did orcboy withhold this information from me?

How did you change the title under your name and pfp? I wanna say thanks for taking the time to read my story.