I just published the 10th Chapter of my story, and I'd like to hear some fresh thoughts and opinions.

[Deleted member 29316]

I'm good. Just want to help. ?

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

As long as you have something to say, I'll read it and enjoy it ^^.

I was nitpicking above because this thread was asking for it . But when I read -- you can rest assured that I latch onto the actual content and meaning (message/theme/character arcs/psychology/PHILOSOPHY if it's there ) of the story the most. The actual delivery is usually negligible to me.

Well, @Queenfisher if you want, and this goes for anyone else, to read my dumpster fire of silly scribbles, feel free.

It's my first time writing ever, and I feel, hope, that I've improved across my some 70K plus words.

I won't lie, in the beginning, I had little direction, but the world has quickly filled up with lore and characters and plot threads.

As for "what" I want to say, with it, I hope to explore a more realistic take on someone being Isekai'd, rather than some grinding quest for levels or power, Lilith has plenty and can gain more easily, the problem is in figuring out how to use it, and psychologically, how does the whole experience affect her? Top it off with her death being a brutal murder, so she has that Trauma to deal with.

Given the power to easily punish those who commit acts such as the ones who murdered her, or would harass her in her past life for being Transgender, what will she do? Can she hang on to her humanity? What even is humanity, really? What makes someone a good or bad person? Or is it all just grey?

I imagine her facing a descent into a sort of Jekyll and Hyde situation, hence the title, as two opposing mentalities battle for supremacy within her mind.

Top it off with a hook, and a challenge to myself, that she can't speak the language, and while she has a cheat workaround of Limited Telepathy, she can't use it publically without calling unwanted attention to herself while she's still ignorant to the world.

Leaving her dependant on two newfound companions, one who is a hardcore academic and closet bisexual that wants to discover all the secrets Lilith's powers have to offer, while also developing somewhat of an obsessive crush on her. Lilac is willing to do nearly anything to advance human knowledge, possibly even at the expense of her morals.

Lilac realizes she is being influenced by Lilith's powers, even though Lilith doesn't mean to, as she barely understands them. In her first meeting, she was also drugged with a potion while exposed to plant smoke that amplified Lilith's seductive succubus powers immensely, causing Lilac's bisexuality to surface incredibly strongly, before this she was unaware herself, having forsaken people for academia.

The other is a child never meant to exist, of an improperly sterilized Miscreated Fang-Rabbit Mother and a Human Father, unable to live a normal life she was raised and trained at the most prestigious servant academy in the world, one where graduates can pick any master they choose, to serve.

This Fang-Rabbit Maid girl, Nellie, through an accident with Lilith and her Telepathy, has some kind of one-way permanent link now, saw many of Lilith's memories, from before and after being Isekai'd and can feel Lilith's emotions, and sometimes hear her thoughts, such as when Lilith talks or thinks to herself, which she does often, giving her incredible power to manipulate Lilith.

Nellie wants more than anything to explore the world, having been cooped up most of her life and read many books. She has an idealized view of the world, but a grim and uncaring view of people, mostly. Except for Lilith now, not only is she powerful and Nellie knows her better than anyone else ever will. Nellie cares little for others in general and can be ruthless to anyone she sees as "in the way."

...

I just typed a HUGE upsell for a story I'm actually scared of people reading because I feel like my writing ability is shit, didn't I?

UGH.. fuck. Do what you want, but don't blame me.

 

[Queenfisher]

Well, @Queenfisher if you want, and this goes for anyone else, to read my dumpster fire of silly scribbles, feel free.

It's my first time writing ever, and I feel, hope, that I've improved across my some 70K plus words.

I won't lie, in the beginning, I had little direction, but the world has quickly filled up with lore and characters and plot threads.

As for "what" I want to say, with it, I hope to explore a more realistic take on someone being Isekai'd, rather than some grinding quest for levels or power, Lilith has plenty and can gain more easily, the problem is in figuring out how to use it, and psychologically, how does the whole experience affect her? Top it off with her death being a brutal murder, so she has that Trauma to deal with.

Given the power to easily punish those who commit acts such as the ones who murdered her, or would harass her in her past life for being Transgender, what will she do? Can she hang on to her humanity? What even is humanity, really? What makes someone a good or bad person? Or is it all just grey?

I imagine her facing a descent into a sort of Jekyll and Hyde situation, hence the title, as two opposing mentalities battle for supremacy within her mind.

Top it off with a hook, and a challenge to myself, that she can't speak the language, and while she has a cheat workaround of Limited Telepathy, she can't use it publically without calling unwanted attention to herself while she's still ignorant to the world.

Leaving her dependant on two newfound companions, one who is a hardcore academic and closet bisexual that wants to discover all the secrets Lilith's powers have to offer, while also developing somewhat of an obsessive crush on her. Lilac is willing to do nearly anything to advance human knowledge, possibly even at the expense of her morals.

Lilac realizes she is being influenced by Lilith's powers, even though Lilith doesn't mean to, as she barely understands them. In her first meeting, she was also drugged with a potion while exposed to plant smoke that amplified Lilith's seductive succubus powers immensely, causing Lilac's bisexuality to surface incredibly strongly, before this she was unaware herself, having forsaken people for academia.

The other is a child never meant to exist, of an improperly sterilized Miscreated Fang-Rabbit Mother and a Human Father, unable to live a normal life she was raised and trained at the most prestigious servant academy in the world, one where graduates can pick any master they choose, to serve.

This Fang-Rabbit Maid girl, Nellie, through an accident with Lilith and her Telepathy, has some kind of one-way permanent link now, saw many of Lilith's memories, from before and after being Isekai'd and can feel Lilith's emotions, and sometimes hear her thoughts, such as when Lilith talks or thinks to herself, which she does often, giving her incredible power to manipulate Lilith.

Nellie wants more than anything to explore the world, having been cooped up most of her life and read many books. She has an idealized view of the world, but a grim and uncaring view of people, mostly. Except for Lilith now, not only is she powerful and Nellie knows her better than anyone else ever will. Nellie cares little for others in general and can be ruthless to anyone she sees as "in the way."

...

I just typed a HUGE upsell for a story I'm actually scared of people reading because I feel like my writing ability is shit, didn't I?

UGH.. fuck. Do what you want, but don't blame me.

You don't need to write an upsell review of your own work for me to read it!

I will, even if it will take me some time ^^.

Also, I am a review-nerd and over-analyzing-geek myself so I would probably find something in your book you didn't even suspect was there, mwahahahaha

To quote Russian gopniks (thugs) when they come over to rob you:

"Do you have any money themes and character arcs I can analyze the hell out of? No? But what if I FIND them?"

(Spoiler alert. I will most certainly find them -_- even if you scream and resist and beg me not to).

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

"Do you have any money themes and character arcs I can analyze the hell out of? No? But what if I FIND them?"

(Spoiler alert. I will most certainly find them -_- even if you scream and resist and beg me not to).

I'm not sure what hidden things you might find.

But I can say you will definitely find a big goofball of a Main character at first, with things like this:

Satisfied with myself, I confidently strut out of the side alley and toward the front door, putting on my best ‘bad girl’ stride.

Too bad for me holding your head up to appear confident meant I failed to notice the rock that tripped me flat on my face, as I land on the dirt with a heavy thud.

 

[Angry_Clown]

@Freesia.Cutepearl
Me, after reading the post and the story synopsis:

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

@Freesia.Cutepearl
Me, after reading the post and the story synopsis:

I agree, no one should read it.
What was I thinking?

 

[Angry_Clown]

no one

I feel like your story caters to an extremely specific audience, which I'm not a part of. Rather, I quietly despise the sort of people that flock to these kinds of stories. And, since two groups don't mix well, it's better to avoid mixing them altogether, to save everyone from the headache.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

I feel like your story caters to an extremely specific audience, which I'm not a part of. Rather, I quietly despise the sort of people that flock to these kinds of stories. And, since two groups don't mix well, it's better to avoid mixing them altogether, to save everyone from the headache.

Honestly, I just wanted to practice writing and had been reading a lot of Isekai lately, and had been annoyed by many things, so wanted to try doing something similar but different.

It annoys me that many do game-like mechanics without much regard for actual consequences or reasons. I created a reason for something to exist, but also made it very... non-traditonal.

It annoys me that so many people Isekai'd just get over their death quickly and magically acclimate to the new world.

It annoys me that most all have no language barrier, and things like day lengths, seconds, hours, minutes, etc. Are all the same. I created a whole new calendar. Even if I "translate" things for the readers, the world itself has this, and characters referencing dates will use it.

It annoys me that these gods or goddesses just reincarnate people for free, mine is not, she is a tool for a purpose. Both parties get something from the exchange.

It annoys me that so many have side kicks or harems with 2-dimensional characters that are just there to boost the main character's ego.

It annoys me that it's never really addressed how an isekai'd character, suddenly knows how to fight or do anything with competency. Lilith is a clutz and messes up, like she stabbed her leg trying to sheath a sword fancy like in a movie or something.

It annoys me that most Isekai have an adventurer guild, especially that it's usually worldwide somehow, and nation agnostic. I took the idea of a national militia and privateering and made a national privateer guild for the nation Lilith starts in, some nations don't have anything at all, it's not a staple.

It annoys me that most of these stories have monsters or people with simple ratings, A class, B class, etc. I'm trying to take cues from how we deal with threats in reality.

It annoys me how in so many stories, not just Isekai, adult characters, will be all lovey dovey but stay PG-13 and never act like real adults, real people have sex, for many reasons. Might as well practice that too, hey, succubus reason weeeeeeee. Dumb? Maybe, but I try to make the timing be somewhat sensible, and out of 70k+ words, only 3 smut scenes and they're probably only around 2k to 4k words combined?

I could go on, but, that's... basically what started the whole damn thing. I really have a Sci-Fi story I want to write, but I want to practice first.

I hope that makes... some sense? At least? I never really wanted to be like some of the.... stuff.... I've seen on trending.

(Edit, somehow 'reading isekai' was accidentally 'writing isekai' oops)

 

[ForestDweller]

The formatting is approximately horrible.

It most likely contains only short dozen-word paragraphs.

Not much explanation or information in between.

Like trying to fish out a needle from a stack of needles.

I'm only commenting on the latest chapter, btw.

The flow of storytelling is also brutally broken by irrelevant inserts.

Instead of hard information the descriptions most likely contain loose approximations.




The story might be interesting, but the questionable style and formatting choices make it a challenge to read overall, blotting any potential this story might have had otherwise. The conversations only contain dialog. In-between there's a weird mix of third-person storyteller and first-person internal musings. The storyteller seems unsure of the world they're describing. It just rubs me in the wrong way and makes the whole thing an unmemorable mess that I don't want to read again.

That's like light novel style though, with short paragraphs.

 

[Angry_Clown]

@Freesia.Cutepearl

Read up to chapter 11, and while the story is quite good, I absolutely hate the characters and the tropes they represent, which is my number one gripe with transgender MC stories. Your story is just not for the type of audience I'm a part of.

That's like light novel style though, with short paragraphs.

Well, yeah, and those belong in the 3.5 star toxic refuse fields. They're quick cheap entertainment and the story in question failed to be that. You almost expect some degree of shittiness to come out of the LN dump. But the OP's story doesn't fit the bill. The LN crowd didn't get their dirty fix, the fantasy crowd got smacked by the lackluster LN style, everyone left unsatisfied. Hence the rating.

To paraphrase my favorite quote:
The worst of trashiest fandoms are stable, the most eloquent literary circles are stable, and in-between lies the valley of eternal mediocrity.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Read up to chapter 11, and while the story is quite good, I absolutely hate the characters and the tropes they represent, which is my number one gripe with transgender MC stories. Your story is just not for the type of audience I'm a part of.

Thank you. It's totally understandable to have preferences. I hope I didn't overreact or something?
I... have trouble figuring things out a lot, so it's just nice to know what's going on.

I'll be honest, aside from the two new characters, Lilac and Nellie, I have no clue what tropes even exist in my story.
Lilith has... a lot of me in her. At least at first. No idea how things will go.

I'm actually kind of curious what stuff you do like?
The story I really want to write is a far-future SciFi inspired by Isaac Asimov's short story "The Last Question"
I haven't figured out yet just how hard or soft I want it to be, but I want things to be reasonably plausible.
Though when you're talking billions of years in the future, reasonably plausible could be indistinguishable from magic for all we know.

Anyway, hope you have a great day and even if you don't like it, I do appreciate the time you took to read up to chapter 11. Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 29081]

@Freesia.Cutepearl

Read up to chapter 11, and while the story is quite good, I absolutely hate the characters and the tropes they represent, which is my number one gripe with transgender MC stories. Your story is just not for the type of audience I'm a part of.


Well, yeah, and those belong in the 3.5 star toxic refuse fields. They're quick cheap entertainment and the story in question failed to be that. You almost expect some degree of shittiness to come out of the LN dump. But the OP's story doesn't fit the bill. The LN crowd didn't get their dirty fix, the fantasy crowd got smacked by the lackluster LN style, everyone left unsatisfied. Hence the rating.

To paraphrase my favorite quote:
The worst of trashiest fandoms are stable, the most eloquent literary circles are stable, and in-between lies the valley of eternal mediocrity.

Wow, that kind of makes me want to strive for the valley even more. Just put in some generic light novel trash and then, WOOSH, suddenly you’re reading Pride and Prejudice. ?

 

[Angry_Clown]

that kind of makes me want to strive for the valley even more

Well, don't make a surprised pickachu face when your divisive and controversial work is rated as divisively controversial and awarded a lone star of excellence.

I'm actually kind of curious what stuff you do like?

Rather I have a bunch of stuff I don't enjoy and that is bad for my blood pressure, so I avoid those novels. I do tend to gravitate towards adventure-type stories, though. The great sense of exploration, be it on board of a space-ship or on the surface of an unknown world and all that.

First among the hated tropes would be the generalization and double standard ones. The most notable examples are "all abusers are male" and "females are more innocent". 95% of fiction always depicts the abusing side as male. Even if the victim is a male themselves, the perpetrators are also males, thus creating the opinion that "women can never be abusive". And if they are, it's dismissed and/or downplayed.

"Cast full of gay" trope. When everyone and their mother is queer in some shape or form and if you're not — you're a horrible villain.

All variations on "villain/idiot/hero ball" tropes. Also, characters that are stupid evil, or stupid good.

Excessively naive and self-righteous MCs.

Gay/transgender MCs shoved into the role of lust demons. Because we all know that all of them are always depraved homosexuals, right? Honestly, this bit happens way too often.

Each and every gay/transgender aesop in existence. And let's be honest, if your character's major trait is being gay/transgender, you're guilty of pushing this trope regardless of your intentions. Most do it subconsciously even.

The lesbian vampire trope is mostly hit or miss (more often a miss though) for me.

The "out of the closet, into the fire" trope. Coming out or forcible ousting of the character's queer nature causes them to be subjected to hate crimes immediately and rendered a cosmic plaything subsequently.

And many. Many. More. I tend to hate a lot of stuff actually

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Rather I have a bunch of stuff I don't enjoy and that is bad for my blood pressure, so I avoid those stories. I do tend to gravitate towards adventure-type stories, though. The great sense of exploration, be it on board of a space-ship or on the surface of an unknown world and all that.

I see! Maybe a future work will be more your taste! I expect it to be some time away though. I hope you can find some stories you like.

First would be the generalization and double standard tropes. The most notable examples are "all abusers are male" and "females are more innocent" tropes. 95% of fiction always depicts the abusing side as male. Even if the victim is a male themselves, the perpetrators are also males, thus creating the opinion that "women can never be abusive". And if they are, it's dismissed and/or downplayed.

This probably did happen a bit unintentionally to begin with, however, there are plans, oh boy are there plans.
I was not even really aware, though. Now I am. Thank you.

"Cast full of gay" trope. When everyone and their mother is queer in some shape or form and if you're not — you're a horrible villain.

I'm beginning to wonder if I did something wrong here. Only Lilith and Lilac are Bisexual. No other character has been identified as anything other than straight.

All variations on "villain/idiot/hero ball" tropes. Also, characters that are stupid evil, or stupid good.

Lilith is absolutely uh.. yeah. A ditzy clutz modelled after me because, well, I'm new to character writing and might as well start with what I know? Plus the whole bit about it annoying me with characters being instantly too competent in things and earthling would unlikely have ever done.
Can totally see it though.

If any of this is directed towards Elicia, I had hoped to portray her not as stupid, but rather, how humans are, don't see or blame their own faults, blame other things, and pursue not so healthy courses of action, such as blind revenge.

Excessively naive and self-righteous MCs.

Lilith is absolutely niave. I must admit, I don't really understand the self-righteous part, I am not even really sure what it entials. If anything though, I had hoped to portray with her the morally grey nature of humanity, and her slowly succumbing to emotional trauma, and becoming more ok with being a monster and not the "good person" most people idealize.

Gay/transgender MCs shoved into the role of lust demons. Because we all know that all of them are always depraved homosexuals, right? Honestly, this bit happens way too often.

Ah.. yeah... oops. Literally originally only meant as a plot device for Sex Scene practice. I can say, I have personal experience with LGBT so... I had hoped to portray things... not terribly? I'm genuinely concerned now.

Each and every gay/transgender aesop in existence. And let's be honest, if your character's major trait is being gay/transgender, you're guilty of pushing this trope regardless of your intentions. Most do it subconsciously even.

I guess it did happen subconsciously? I was hoping to portray more, realistic bits, like, in her recounting a past experience she mentioned, before coming out, not being able to go to the same bathroom as her friend. Which. Oops. I just realized, portrayed male aggressors again. Though, I did base that off of something I experienced 2nd hand at a real convention, not nearly on the level as I wrote about, though.

The lesbian vampire trope is mostly hit or miss (more often a miss though) for me.

Vampire bit eh. Fair enough, though she is Bi-sexual, Lilith likes the D as much as the V, hehe.
It, the blood-sucking bit, the Succubus energy-sucking bit, and the shapeshifting all have a common theme.
Plus I kinda had to, "Ruler of Blood" just didn't feel complete without it, though.. it has more meaning than just blood sucking.

The "out of the closet, into the fire" trope. Coming out or forcible ousting of the character's queer nature causes them to be subjected to hate crimes immediately and rendered as a cosmic plaything.

This, uhm, yeah, guilty. I fashioned the events around an actual news story I heard. (but unfortunately can't locate anything written, I only heard it commented on during TV news.)
The basic gist is there was a big stink here in the southeast US about Transgender Bathroom bills making it a jailable offense, just using the restroom. And a big old "protect the children!" movement and it seemed some people took it to heart and started patrolling public restrooms with baseball bats or something, and asking women to submit to "inspections" how that is even remotely conceivable is insane to me.

In my research, I did find several stories of violence around restroom use involving Transwomen. It's something that does happen. But doesn't seem talked about often. It's honestly frightening how dehumanizing people are towards Transpeople sometimes.

And many. Many. More. I tend to hate a lot of stuff actually

Fair enough. I hate plenty of weird things. Like the skin of cherries. No idea why, I like the taste, I like the fruit, but I hate the skin.

Coconut, I hate processed coconut shreds, but Love Coconut milk/water and even the pieces sometimes in them.

Milk Chocolate, I hate it with a passion, but I love Dark Chocolate.

To get away from food, I despise most Country and Rap music. I can't stand it for the most part, and I can't explain why.

I love heavy metal but I hate it when people scream in it. Makes it very disappointing when I love a song to pieces but it has 5 seconds of screaming that ruin it for me. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, usually. A few times it's not been, not sure what the difference it. Also makes me feel Hypocritical.

I think I've rambled enough.

I am genuinely happy that we managed to make it to this point of discussion.

It might be stupid but I was on the verge of tears for a bit because I... how to explain?

I enjoy it when people are happy, making people happy makes me happy.

I want to avoid at all costs being the cause of someone's unhappiness. I get sad when people are sad.

It hurts me, sometimes physically, to know I was the cause of someone's unhappiness.

I don't really feel hate normally, I think, at least, I can't hate people?

But if I can hate anything is the idea of making someone upset or unhappy.

I hope that you are and can be happy and that my silly scribbles did not cause you too much distress.

I also hope your blood pressure thing will be ok.

Fuck.. I still rambled more.

 

[Angry_Clown]

@Freesia.Cutepearl not everything on the list applies to your novel though. The "cast full of gay", "ball variety" and naivete are simply general remarks. Just a bit of clarification.

It's honestly frightening how dehumanizing people are

This is the biggest fault I find with trans\gay aesops. Most treat the situation as somehow unique to the queer community. It ain't unique. To hate things is human nature and people that wish to engage in their otherwise harshly criticized behavior will find a reason to justify it. Be it gender, sexual preference, religion, ethnicity, appearance, accent, or any of the other million insignificant things.

Sure, gays/trans/cripples/clowns are people too. People are people. I don't particularly fancy being reminded that members of a particular group are more deserving of being treated as persons until noon, because from noon to 3 P.M. is reserved for Jewish lesbians of color.

So, my reaction to stories that pull (or try to pull) a significant aesop on the matter is: "Can't relate. Don't want to. Bye".
Suffering is universal. The circumstances and minutiae are not. So when the minutiae become the fuel for the angst generation engine, it reads as some sort of a hollow socio-political statement and in worst cases comes off as tokenism.

And while your story depicts the circumstances well, to the point of them not being taken as an off-hand attempt at inclusivity, the focus still seems to linger on the particulars a bit too much for my taste. This is exactly what I meant when I mentioned "extremely specific audiences". People that recognize and sympathize with events described in the novel. When you can't relate to or feel for characters in a character-driven story, however, it makes the whole experience kinda meh.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

Thank you for the detailed feedback! I understand better, I think. I must admit at times my brain can be slow at picking up some particulars.

I really cannot overstate how happy I am that what started as a "hang myself" meme thing turned into meaningful discussion, seriously. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. Not everyone would take the time like you did, and It really means a lot.

I'm not sure how much I can do to improve things, I feel woefully inequipped.

However, awareness is the first step.

My intention was not to say that Taylor suffered because of being Trans, rather, it was just a stupid excuse used as means to commit an act of violence.

I realize now I probably framed my sentence above that way, mostly because it seems people around me are blissfully unaware of the prejudices that seem common in the area.

You are right though, everyone suffers at the hands of something. I really would like to portray things as fairly as I can. I suppose it's a part of humanity to be biased no matter how hard you try. I imagine some of mine due to Mental issues growing up, and bullying has seeped in. Sprinkled with the LGBT baggage on top.

Actually, that did just make me think of something, you wouldn't know the whole details as the latest bit is in chapter 16, but Elicia is suffering because of Lilith. Her whole crew is dead, and she blamed Lilith, and in pursuit of vengeance, got her only remaining friend and potential lover killed as he protected her.

She was originally just a side character I expect to die, but as events played out in my head she lived, and made some bad decisions, human decisions, and is suffering because of her interactions with Lilith. The whole situation seems very grey to me, they both contributed. But regardless, Lilith has caused the very suffering she hates.

P.S. I'm not familiar with your usage of the term "aesop"? Google results are... inconclusive.
(Company, Website, Education something, Skincare line? Greek Storyteller, a high school? idk.)

 

[Angry_Clown]

I'm not familiar with your usage of the term "aesop"?

Yeah, that's from the greek fabulist. Basically, a story with a well-defined moral\objective lesson or that leaves the reader with an issue the author wants them to ponder. Although ironically, Aesop's actual stories did not contain those, the listener was supposed to sort out the meaning themselves.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Seeing the long reply chain between the two of you makes me happy for some reason.

 

[Deleted member 29081]

Aegis, aegidos. Aigises might be the correct English plural, but it just sounds terrible in my ears. I recommend using the Greek plural "aegides". Flows better.

But aside from that, you have a target audience with high standards. You can be pretty successful with mediocre and even terrible writing here on scribble as long as you write about smut, gender bender, girl love, harem, Isekai, LitRPGs. The crowd reads everything and doesn't care much about quality. They genuinely don't care.

Example of place 1 on the current trending list.

“Haaah, finally a bed! *poomf*. . .*creeaak*. . . Am I really, that heavy?. . . No answer huh.” I said as I fondled my now, envious chest.


‘Having her genes feels amazing!’


–“Mngh-ahn!!” I moaned


I had brushed my nipple while ‘experimenting’ with my chest.


–“Oh no, I got turned on . . . Mnnn.” I said as I continued.


Suddenly, my crotch began to feel like it was on fire. My mini-me, started to wake from its slumber! . . . One by one, my clothing became scarce until none was left.

You have none of these tags and will thus have a hard time. Your readers will expect more from you.

Truly a modern classic of our time. If only my own meager writing skills could compare to such masterful prose and illustrious wit.

 

[Aoibh]

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/130525/the-unchosen-one/

In return, give me a story you want some feedback on, and I would be happy to provide it.

This is not feedback just something I wanted to ask.

How did you get the block and lines in your chapter?