"Sorry"

[TLCsDestiny]

Your opinion on how the word 'sorry' came about in the first place:
Was it someone who did the wrong doing and came to realize that they did wrong and felt like they had to do or say something after they saw the repercussions of what they had done?
Or...Was it someone who wanted just the word 'sorry' for something bad that had happened to them?

It can't be a questions like 'what came first, the chicken or the egg', there was a start to it.
In fact, the word apology did not always mean 'sorry'! Apparently Shakespear seemed to have a part to play in making 'apology' mean sorry but...But that is not what I'm getting at here, I just want to know what you guys think about how it started. How was it that a person wanted some justice for what happened and how a word was enough?

In my opinion, I don't think 'sorry' came to be by someone wanting it said to them because they'd want something else right? Wouldn't they want money or a slave in compensation to what they might have 'lost'? Even if it was a decent chap or lady who really did just want a sincere word for what someone had done, it makes me think that perhaps making an apology or 'sorry', had more to it then just the word of 'sorry'. It is said from ages ago that actions speak louder then words and so, perhaps, back in the day, 'sorry' maybe had an action to go along with it to make it even more sincere? (What kind of action would that be though?)
At the same time though, I also don't know if it came from someone who felt terrible for what they had done. I am someone that feels for other people and I feel bad if I've done something wrong and would want to say that I'm sorry but...Sometimes I don't...It's not like I don't want to...It's not like I don't care...It's just that I'm embarrassed and well, sometimes even scared (lol stupid right).
I know that there is probably nothing to be embarrassed about and that I'd feel better about myself if I did it but why can't I do it?
Well, whatever, I guess saying 'sorry' for being drunk and making a fool of myself at a party will just have to wait until further notice...

What are your thoughts?
Have you not said sorry for what you did once but want to?
Do you think saying 'sorry' is enough or should there be a sincere action to go along with it?

 

[OvidLemma]

The notion of apology and reconciliation is much older than spoken language, so the sentiment existed before there was a word for it. I think "sorry" is the equivalent of the conciliatory vocalizations and behaviors that the wrongdoer makes in primate social groups. That is to say, while both apology behavior and the demand for apology both predate language, I think "sorry" is the former.

 

[TLCsDestiny]

The notion of apology and reconciliation is much older than spoken language, so the sentiment existed before there was a word for it. I think "sorry" is the equivalent of the conciliatory vocalizations and behaviors that the wrongdoer makes in primate social groups. That is to say, while both apology behavior and the demand for apology both predate language, I think "sorry" is the former.

Then what would they had done to state they were 'sorry' before spoken language? I suppose we'd probably never know but I wish to! lol.

 

[Angry_Clown]

Then what would they had done to state they were 'sorry' before spoken language?

Pick the bugs out of the wronged party's fur. There are a plethora of works on reciprocal altruism and how society depends on it. The apology is a way to repair the perceived damage in a relationship so the wronged person would let you back into their circle of reciprocal altruists.

 

[OvidLemma]

Pick the bugs out of the wronged party's fur. There are a plethora of works on reciprocal altruism and how society depends on it. The apology is a way to repair the perceived damage in a relationship so the wronged person would let you back into their circle of reciprocal altruists.

That's exactly what I was getting at. The exact behavior will vary from species to species, and more advanced apes (e.g. chimps and bonobos) even have different cultures between groups with different traditions of reconciliation. Among bonobos, make-up sex is a popular option.
https://www.wired.com/2014/04/sexual-healing-bonobos-use-sex-to-de-stress/

 

[NotaNuffian]

To me it is most definitely from the person who did wrong and this is me thinking negatively, but I think the guy who did wrong is trying to get away with just a word instead of a proper compensation or retribution done by his victim.

In any cases where there is a material loss, sorry doesn't cover things up and wealth and property needs to get fork over in order to reimburse the victim. Or at least that is what I am taught as a kid in my own house and only noticed when I was a teen that I am the only one constantly forking over my cash for the stupid shits done by my relatives... thanks to them I also learnt scams as a youth.

For immaterial losses like feelings (you have two thumbs, suck them up) and some other unquantifiable things or amount. The word "sorry" is used as a placeholder because you are unable to gauge how much of your stuff is required to be forked out in order to shut the victim up. This is where you pray that a word can help (it never does) ease the pain and maybe let the victim stop howling or trying to extort from you.

 

[TLCsDestiny]

To me it is most definitely from the person who did wrong and this is me thinking negatively, but I think the guy who did wrong is trying to get away with just a word instead of a proper compensation or retribution done by his victim.

In any cases where there is a material loss, sorry doesn't cover things up and wealth and property needs to get fork over in order to reimburse the victim. Or at least that is what I am taught as a kid in my own house and only noticed when I was a teen that I am the only one constantly forking over my cash for the stupid shits done by my relatives... thanks to them I also learnt scams as a youth.

For immaterial losses like feelings (you have two thumbs, suck them up) and some other unquantifiable things or amount. The word "sorry" is used as a placeholder because you are unable to gauge how much of your stuff is required to be forked out in order to shut the victim up. This is where you pray that a word can help (it never does) ease the pain and maybe let the victim stop howling or trying to extort from you.

Just another point of view that I didn't really think of...So many ways it could have been invented!
To be honest with you, one word really isn't enough and I agree with you but...What are we to do?
There has to be a new way to apologize to someone, a way that will help idiots like myself to do it without being embarrassed, people that don't have a conscious to feel what they have done.
A way that will bring some kind of retribution or justice to the other person too. I suppose I'm not talking about the big crimes like murder, I'm talking about smaller things where there is something the victim should be able to get from the bad person...
Maybe 'Sorry' was for the poor, not rich...Because the poor couldn't afford to do anything but say the word and say it sincerely...lol
I need to stop being so curious me thinks...

 

[OliviaMyriad]

IMO:
"Sorry" probably came from the grunting sounds that accompanied the soothing and compensation. It then became associated with the concept of apology.
Then, they said "sorry" first and then went on to compensate.
When something was too minor to require work done or things given, "sorry" was enough.
And the grunts that meant "sorry" morphed into phrases of apology in various languages.

I thonk.