Well, if you ask my opinion, crosshatched or not, all look good.
But, I advise you go back to your plan/goal for the artwork.
First, if you're going to ask me if the style worked, you have to define first what you are after in that illustration. You told me about the chromatic shimmer, so if that's what you're after, then you'd definitely want to avoid anything that might 'destroy' the shine...and that includes the hatching. It makes everything look beaten down, see?
But hey, as they say, a knight in shining armor is one that doesn't fight at all. Duwag, sabi nga ng iba.
Second, as for the 'masculine' female...hatching will really make her like that, though it would also depend on how you put it in the image. Is she a fighter? A veteran one? Then you might want to keep her 'masculine' looks; the only downside is if that's not your goal.
Third. Whose illustration is that? A commission perhaps? If your client (i.e. your friend) says he/she doesn't like it, then by all means, follow his/her suggestion. If not (and it's for your own), again, go back to your goal for drawing the character like that. Do you really intend her to appear like that? If so, then it is good.
My only issue is that crosshatching won't really ruin an illustration. And the over-all approval of the work would still depend on the person looking. Don't just base your artwork on someone else's opinion, unless they are paying you.
Take a look at this another example. This is from my novel, the Demon Saint is Missing. Noticed the shadings? Did that make her look masculine?
View attachment 48347
Also, I wanted to make her armor appear 'beaten up,' so I put the hatchings on the shoulder plates to make it appear as dents.