Dark Romance Readers — I Need Your Honest Feedback 🖤Looking for Honest Feedback on My First 3 Episodes ✨

[Nehamoira]

Hey everyone
I recently started publishing my dark romance novel The Devil’s Silent Vow, and I’d really love to get some honest feedback on my first three episodes.
Here is the link to my novel: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2225506/---/

I’m especially looking for thoughts on:
– Writing style
– Pacing
– Emotional impact
– Overall engagement
I’m still learning and improving, so any kind of feedback—big or small—would truly mean a lot to me
Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read and share their thoughts

 

[Daeron]

Hey everyone
I recently started publishing my dark romance novel The Devil’s Silent Vow, and I’d really love to get some honest feedback on my first three episodes.
Here is the link to my novel: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2225506/---/

I’m especially looking for thoughts on:
– Writing style
– Pacing
– Emotional impact
– Overall engagement
I’m still learning and improving, so any kind of feedback—big or small—would truly mean a lot to me
Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read and share their thoughts

It's nice to found Dark Romance pop up here actually.

I'll not talk about technical stuff, but I think you don't have to posted content warning all over the chapters. And use [author][/author] for your author note.
As for the story, for me, when Damien said "Hello, little kitten", it kinda break the tension. I know it was her pet name, to trigger some of emotional attachment, but saying that on that kind of scene is kinda absurd for me.

Well that's my opinion thought. Good luck on your writing!

 

[Nehamoira]

It's nice to found Dark Romance pop up here actually.

I'll not talk about technical stuff, but I think you don't have to posted content warning all over the chapters. And use [author][/author] for your author note.
As for the story, for me, when Damien said "Hello, little kitten", it kinda break the tension. I know it was her pet name, to trigger some of emotional attachment, but saying that on that kind of scene is kinda absurd for me.

Well that's my opinion thought. Good luck on your writing!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and share your feedback, I really appreciate it

You’re absolutely right about the content warnings—I’ll keep that in mind and avoid adding them in every chapter.

As for the “little kitten” dialogue, I understand your point about it affecting the tension. However, it’s actually a very important part of the story. It’s not just a nickname—it has a deeper meaning and will play a significant role later in the novel, which will be revealed as the story progresses.

Still, I truly value your suggestion, and I’ll definitely work on improving how I present such moments in intense scenes.

Thank you again for your honest feedback, it really helps me grow as a writer

 

[Daeron]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and share your feedback, I really appreciate it

You’re absolutely right about the content warnings—I’ll keep that in mind and avoid adding them in every chapter.

As for the “little kitten” dialogue, I understand your point about it affecting the tension. However, it’s actually a very important part of the story. It’s not just a nickname—it has a deeper meaning and will play a significant role later in the novel, which will be revealed as the story progresses.

Still, I truly value your suggestion, and I’ll definitely work on improving how I present such moments in intense scenes.

Thank you again for your honest feedback, it really helps me grow as a writer

Yeah i understand that actually, since my first novel using the pet name "Tiger" that trigger emotional tension toward the MC.

Again this is just suggestion, perhaps just using certain gesture (How he look at her or how he smirk toward her) might work. OR if you want to highlight those pet name, perhaps using a whisper will work better or maybe make Sera interpreted how Damien move his lips. Since the scene was at wedding ceremony right? And I was imagining he said it out loud in front of guests.

 

[Nehamoira]

Yeah i understand that actually, since my first novel using the pet name "Tiger" that trigger emotional tension toward the MC.

Again this is just suggestion, perhaps just using certain gesture (How he look at her or how he smirk toward her) might work. OR if you want to highlight those pet name, perhaps using a whisper will work better or maybe make Sera interpreted how Damien move his lips. Since the scene was at wedding ceremony right? And I was imagining he said it out loud in front of guests.

Honestly, I feel like crashing someone else’s wedding is way more awkward than using a nickname

But yes, I understand what you mean. The intention wasn’t for him to say it loudly in front of everyone—he actually says it when he’s close to her.

And well… it’s Damien Ashford after all—the King of Death. The whole city fears him, so “normal” behavior isn’t really his thing

Still, I really like your suggestion about making it more subtle and intense. I’ll definitely keep that in mind while refining the scene.

Thank you again for your input, I really appreciate it