(not a secret, everyone here knew that.)The one above me wishes for a futanari girlfriend every birthday and christmas.
(futas can't be stolen, they are the ones with the power to steal partners. If they ever milked your wives, it wouldn't be platonically the way I do so.)The one above me steals the futanari girlfriends from the one above him and makes him watch.
The one above me once visited an alternate universe, convinced every single being to embrace yuri and yaoi, and then watched as the population dwindled to zero due to the lack of reproduction.The one above me lives in an alternate universe and is speaking through vibrations that travel the multiverse.
The one above me purchases... get this, pictures of ugly boys, not girls. Even when offered the regular price, he pays a premium.The one above me purchases... get this, pictures of regular girls, not futas. Even when he's offered a discount, he refuses them.
The one above me runs a sweatshop in China to make the random crap people buy online.The one above me like to buy random Chinese machines from ebay — Nya.
The one above me is thinking of a full commitment. I wouldn't get this from any other guy.The one above me knows the rules. And so do I.