Writing Prompt What would you add to make this story worse?

[Scaletalon]

NB: No futa, smut or any NSFW stuff in this one. That's where I draw the line.
So I've thought of a premise of a story , where the mc, a revived girl seeks revenge against a dictator after her place got bombed and killed her parents. How did she survive it? Well plot armour of course. Now it's up to you to make this story as bad as it can be.

 

[Jerynboe]

Well obviously she infiltrates his inner circle within 2 years using the skills she picked up as a normal teenage girl, gets close to him, but he’s so handsome and charismatic that she keeps putting off her assassination plan as the author keeps finding other side plots to focus on. She does not in any way buy into his goals, nor is killing her family justified at all. She largely forgets about the revenge narrative without any meaningful resolution as she becomes the chairwoman of agriculture and focuses on developing farming communities and her love life.

 

[Alski]

Well obviously she infiltrates his inner circle within 2 years using the skills she picked up as a normal teenage girl, gets close to him, but he’s so handsome and charismatic that she keeps putting off her assassination plan as the author keeps finding other side plots to focus on. She does not in any way buy into his goals, nor is killing her family justified at all. She largely forgets about the revenge narrative without any meaningful resolution as she becomes the chairwoman of agriculture and focuses on developing farming communities and her love life.

and in the epilogue she falls madly in love with him, becomes a concubine and spawns so kids with him(despite him being like 30 years older than her).

 

[Paul__Michaels]

She learns a cultivation technique that brings her to the Godly plane of heavenly existence and once she gets a power level of one million Godly plane of heavenly existence she attacks the dictator, but shock of all shocks the dictator has a Godly plane of heavenly existence of one billion. So, then she cultivates her Godly plane of heavenly existence to two billion, but the dictator find a ancient calculation technique of Heavenly Godly Plane which ups his godly levels to the Godly plane of heavenly existence. But in a twist of fate, the girl finds a ancient cultivation technique of the Godly plane of heavenly existence called The Immortal Calculation which lets her raise her Godly plane of heavenly existence to one point one zillion. She is at the max limit of the Godly plane of heavenly existence. But in a epic reveal, the Dictator says he has an ancient Godly plane of heavenly existence called the Ultimate Immortal Calculation and it let him get to the Godly plane of heavenly existence infinity and one.
They then go in to a long standoff of staring each other down as they continue to increase their godly plane of heavenly existence numbers until in a twist of fate the Dictator's ultimate Immortal Calculation breaks the mortal barrier of Godly plane of heavenly existence and it becomes an infinite loop that is unable to be surpassed. So, then the girl's Immortal Calculation breaks past the infinite and become an infinity plus one. But it doesn't stop there the dictator's ultimate Immortal Calculation breaks again and this time it's infinity plus infinity and so on.

 

[Deleted member 192215]

She learns a cultivation technique that brings her to the Godly plane of heavenly existence and once she gets a power level of one million Godly plane of heavenly existence she attacks the dictator, but shock of all shocks the dictator has a Godly plane of heavenly existence of one billion. So, then she cultivates her Godly plane of heavenly existence to two billion, but the dictator find a ancient calculation technique of Heavenly Godly Plane which ups his godly levels to the Godly plane of heavenly existence. But in a twist of fate, the girl finds a ancient cultivation technique of the Godly plane of heavenly existence called The Immortal Calculation which lets her raise her Godly plane of heavenly existence to one point one zillion. She is at the max limit of the Godly plane of heavenly existence. But in a epic reveal, the Dictator says he has an ancient Godly plane of heavenly existence called the Ultimate Immortal Calculation and it let him get to the Godly plane of heavenly existence infinity and one.
They then go in to a long standoff of staring each other down as they continue to increase their godly plane of heavenly existence numbers until in a twist of fate the Dictator's ultimate Immortal Calculation breaks the mortal barrier of Godly plane of heavenly existence and it becomes an infinite loop that is unable to be surpassed. So, then the girl's Immortal Calculation breaks past the infinite and become an infinity plus one. But it doesn't stop there the dictator's ultimate Immortal Calculation breaks again and this time it's infinity plus infinity and so on.

Huh??? I read this like I'm having a stroke or something.

 

[Paul__Michaels]

Then it did its job.

 

[Zinless]

and in the epilogue she falls madly in love with him, becomes a concubine and spawns so kids with him(despite him being like 30 years older than her).

Then the story tries to hamfist a moral lesson like... rich people bad, or something.

 

[Paul__Michaels]

Then the story tries to hamfist a moral lesson like... rich people bad, or something.

Wrong! The lesson should be that poor people are the scourge of the world and only the rich can bring humility to salvation by getting all the money.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

She didn't survive - she died. And a drunken goddess regressed her ... or tried to regress her back into an earlier point in her life to save them, but missed her target by a few feet (and a few species) so now she is a cute fluffy bunny with all her human memories, and a System that would give her great powers if she could only figure out how to speak and manipulate stuff with her little furry paws.
On the plus side, the villain sees the cute fluffy bunny and decides not to attack that house, instead taking it home to be his pet, so she does save her family, but she's still regressed and remembers their deaths (plus her own).... And now she lives in an opulent cage in the villain's volcano lair (it has to be a volcano, right?), being called "Lady Flufffybutt," and the villain is now devoted to her care instead of his schemes. And she now wants to kill him because of the name (and him once killing her parents, she thinks, but bunny brains don't have the greatest memories...)

Oh - and maybe it should incorporate this:

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed.

Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.

Part II

A light snow was falling, and the little girl with the tattered shawl had not sold a violet all day.

At that very moment, a young intern at City Hospital was making an important discovery. The mysterious patient in Room 213 had finally awakened. She moaned softly. Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas who loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the daughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates? The intern frowned.

“Stampede!” the foreman shouted, and forty thousand head of cattle thundered down on the tiny camp. The two men rolled on the ground grappling beneath the murderous hooves. A left and a right. A left. Another left and right. An uppercut to the jaw. The fight was over. And so the ranch was saved.

The young intern sat by himself in one corner of the coffee shop. He had learned about medicine, but more importantly, he had learned something about life.

 

[CodeCrisis]

I'll take a crack at this.

After somehow surviving the bombing, she vowed to take revenge. To do so, she first attempts to infiltrate a super secret laboratory that only a select few people even know tge location. How does she find it? She just does, don't question it.

In this lab, she accidentally slips and falls into a portal that brings her to a fantasy world. In this fantasy world, she obtains extremely over powered abilities that can demolish entire continents. After years of training these powers, she finally finds a way to get back to her original world.

Finally back, she tries to defeat the evil dictator and get revenge. However, she soon learns that her powers don't work in the real world, and even worse, the dictator was her father! Dun dun duuunnn!!!

And then she woke up.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Finally back, she tries to defeat the evil dictator and get revenge. However, she soon learns that her powers don't work in the real world, and even worse, the dictator was her father! Dun dun duuunnn!!!

Or - the Evil Dictator was her father, but he died while she was off training and now the baby brother that she never knew she had has taken over for him...

 

[John_Owl]

hmmm... plot armor? A bird flying by is hit by the bomb on it's way down, triggering the explosion precisely 2.3 feet higher than it should've, and this difference was JUST enough to barely allow her to survive. But only due to her specific positioning, in a doorframe. Everyone else was still vaporized, as it should be.