Corn on corn, wheat on wheat… potatoes on potatoes!

[aToTeT]

There is an absurdity here.

A hitherto mysterious force, now identified, only as I opened up a can of no-salt-added corn.

With a mind full of joy, I grabbed out a can of similarly unsalted black beans, and a little can of salsa with 150% of my daily sodium intake (I’ll have to get a different one in the future, unsalted Ro-Tel would do it: tomatoes don’t need it, chilies don’t need it; why is it so salty that it should taste this bad? Only the Kroger brand of companies could divine, but had I to guess: it was very cheap — I digress).

Onto the stove they went, to simmer together in a delightfully vivid kaleidoscope of yellow and black and red and green — and I added tri-colour peppercorns all ground for purposes of putting flavour in this waste of American ingenuity and the industrialisation of inferior salsa production.

Happy with my atrocities against the cuisine of all nations of man and my kidneys in particular, I basked in the scent of my incoming gluten-free first meal of the day, and reached for the organic volcanic stone ground blue corn tortilla chips of Que Pasa branding which contain only 36% of my daily sodium in their whole bag and make all other tortilla chips since I have discovered them taste of poopy.

That.

Right there.

Is when it hit me:

I was putting corn... on my corn.

Like a child eating spaghetti on their garlic bread for the first time: I achieved an awareness of a whole new world of texture, only to squander it by never savouring it — that contrast of one and the same but different.

Like a teenager dipping Ruffles that have ridges(tm) into their potato mash and discover they like it better than the french onion dip and the extra-curdy cottage cheese of their mother’s preference.

Like a young adult putting ketchup on her tomato-topped burger, and rice cakes on her rice bowl:

I am person… who puts corn on her corn.

Amaizeng.

I am have never been so ashamed.

It’s tasty tho. Tell me I am the first.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

Tell me I am the first.

I am so sorry to say... but there is absolutely no way that you're first.

 

[Tempokai]

This post is a giant failure in persuasion. If this is a short story, it feels more like the first draft of someone trying to sound profound while eating leftovers. Yes, everyone puts ingredient in one form on the same type of ingredient but in another form. Ah, yes, discovering that food groups repeat themselves—truly the work of a genius on par with inventing sliced bread. There's a thing called basic food, like fat, carbs, and fibers, they create all the food that you eat, in different forms. Taste is a thing that mind creates to make you consume the same thing over and over, as it values survival first, consistency second, enjoyment third. "The corn on the corn" situation is completely ordinary situation, and thinking about it philosophically is only baby steps in finding out how food (and collaterally world) works. The only thing more ordinary than your "corn on corn" moment is the fact that you thought this was an epiphany worth sharing. Next, you’ll discover water is wet and demand a Nobel Prize. Whatever.

 

[aToTeT]

This post is a giant failure in persuasion. If this is a short story, it feels more like the first draft of someone trying to sound profound while eating leftovers. Yes, everyone puts ingredient in one form on the same type of ingredient but in another form. Ah, yes, discovering that food groups repeat themselves—truly the work of a genius on par with inventing sliced bread. There's a thing called basic food, like fat, carbs, and fibers, they create all the food that you eat, in different forms. Taste is a thing that mind creates to make you consume the same thing over and over, as it values survival first, consistency second, enjoyment third. "The corn on the corn" situation is completely ordinary situation, and thinking about it philosophically is only baby steps in finding out how food (and collaterally world) works. The only thing more ordinary than your "corn on corn" moment is the fact that you thought this was an epiphany worth sharing. Next, you’ll discover water is wet and demand a Nobel Prize. Whatever.

Isn’t it disgusting tho? :)

There is joy to be found in the mundanity — if there were no such highlights in our days: we humans must be miserable creatures indeed.

I wonder: what epiphany is not worthy of sharing? The magic of taste, the wonder of sound, the beauty of touch… so much right there, ready to be shared, and a whole world in which to vomit your mind of its cluttering verbosity.

Is it not so delightfully disgusting?

How fun it is to share. To connect. To bless me with your personal disquiet, and I you with my good and cancerous humour.

I am so sorry to say... but there is absolutely no way that you're first.

Dang. Nab. It. X_x Not you too...

 

[LesserSarcasm]

No there is the cheapest meal in the world which is bread on bread or 1 toasted slice between 2 untoastedd slices so your not the first. What about people making cheese sauce they mix cheese with milk, or mixing (a) slab(s) of milk with milk. Ever dipped your kfc fries into you potato and gravy that is putting potato on potato

 

[aToTeT]

No there is the cheapest meal in the world which is bread on bread or 1 toasted slice between 2 untoastedd slices so your not the first. What about people making cheese sauce they mix cheese with milk, or mixing (a) slab(s) of milk with milk. Ever dipped your kfc fries into you potato and gravy that is putting potato on potato

A toast-in-bread sandwich. o___o

… And I thought as a species we could sink no lower! “>_<"

I have never! But... now...

I am curious o_______o

And strangely hungry.

... But I just ate…?

… I am the unproud owner of a toaster with four slots… and I have sourdough english muffins… O_o

 

[Tempokai]

Isn’t it disgusting tho? :)

There is joy to be found in the mundanity — if there were no such highlights in our days: we humans must be miserable creatures indeed.

I wonder: what epiphany is not worthy of sharing? The magic of taste, the wonder of sound, the beauty of touch… so much right there, ready to be shared, and a whole world in which to vomit your mind of its cluttering verbosity.

Is it not so delightfully disgusting?

How fun it is to share. To connect. To bless me with your personal disquiet, and I you with my good and cancerous humour.

Now this is a textbook example of trying to dodge failed persuasion check with doubling down in pretentiousness. I honestly could've broke down each of your points about "caring, sharing, kumbaya," but honestly I'm tired of this BS. Epiphanies are meant for yourself, your inner world, your actions, not for this navel gazing that's essentially you being stuck in "yuck, corn bad" mentality while trying to sound deep. It's not deep. Enjoying your first world privileges much? I can only explain through this lens your shallow attempts at "philosophy." Meanwhile, in the real world, people are trying to figure out how to afford corn, but sure, tell us more about your existential tortilla crisis.

 

[Seaspecter]

I can’t be the only one that thought this thread was about liquor.

 

[Lonely_Melons]

Corn is injurious to health?

 

[aToTeT]

Now this is a textbook example of trying to dodge failed persuasion check with doubling down in pretentiousness. I honestly could've broke down each of your points about "caring, sharing, kumbaya," but honestly I'm tired of this BS. Epiphanies are meant for yourself, your inner world, your actions, not for this navel gazing that's essentially you being stuck in "yuck, corn bad" mentality while trying to sound deep. It's not deep. Enjoying your first world privileges much? I can only explain through this lens your shallow attempts at "philosophy." Meanwhile, in the real world, people are trying to figure out how to afford corn, but sure, tell us more about your existential tortilla crisis.

That is a lot of insults. No, I am not asking for more, or saying that you should really have a good long think about that.

Spoiler

But it is a lot, and I am not sure what of value to… arguments-sake it provides.

I’m not sure why you seem surprised that I don’t see much merit in engaging in philosophical discourse with… however many direct adhoms it takes me to parse through to get to the two very limited ‘arguments’ here — one of which is that epiphanies do not matter and have no value when externally expressed, to which I in my bathtub say: Eureka!!

I honestly do not see how you intend for me to defend all of art, writing, philosophy, science, mathematics, and songs inspired by mundanity. And I’m not going to, because you have not earned that level of care from me in these two posts that have done to your credibility what walking into a lampost does to my stability: makes it kinda shaky,

So despite the severely-compromised ethos in your arguments as presented, let’s talk about the real world for a second:

What has me taking a crunchy little nibble of stove-warmed corn on the most expensive corn tortilla chip we sell in the store... to do with the availability of corn in regions still devastated by the African world war?

Five million people will never eat corn of any variety again.

They can’t.

They’re dead.

Kumbaya, I think you said? Disgusting.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with here, or there, or you, or me, or the little ditty I wrote about how wild it is that one thing becomes many before returning to one somewhere in my lower intestines.

What real world win are you looking to extract from content this logically pointless?

You would seem at once to desire I engage in ‘philosophical debate’ with you over the silly subject of this thread, and at the same time view my deliberate avoidance of engaging you in tit for tat over *corn* as ‘pretentious’.

Do you hear yourself, in there?

I struggle, myself, to hear what you meant to say:

It got lost under such cruelty — so pointlessly directed my way in such an abundance as to temporarily astound me! But was it even intentional? I have to wonder.

Do you regularly say nice things to anyone with that silver tongue of yours? Do you say nice things to anyone: ever? For any reason? I have yet to see this demonstrated, though it must exist; or that is the still greater tragedy.

There is little substance to the arguments you wrote here (the bit about just how amino acids and fat and all that function… was utterly squandered — frittered away beneath ad hominem after ad hominem, and for what? That’s my only intellectual takeaway here: I still don’t know, and isn’t that interesting!), and since you do seem to be pretty smart, I am truly sorry to say that.

But I am not sorry to refuse:

What is there to engage with these arguments, save for empty and naked hostility? That is all I have yet seen — IS there more?

If so, then what have you attempted to put into your argument... that isn’t coming across to me? You’re smart, no? You must be! So there must be something! Tell me that I missed your arguments because I cannot read into their abyssal and byzantine depths, but tell me that they exist! Surely you would not write such caustic things without reason, yet present such brittle reaction back when you are given but a wee little elbow nudge of narrowly-overt dismissal!

And what value have such a vitriolic and excessively impassioned argument... in a context so bereft of substance as mine original post here in this thread (It’s corn on corn, not War and One Piece!)? As you noted (amid numerous very much uncalled-for attacks upon my person in the process) it was a very shallow vision of the philosophical i.e. babies first philosophy.

… Did you expect anything different?

To slide in here on an internet thread to find me putting the next Thus Spoke Zarathustra or Communist Manifesto down? Of course it’s shallow! How could it be anything but shallow? Why do you seem to labour under the perspective of disappointment over a thread titled like a pornographic video about the hot dog man and the big brown buns?

Why?

Really, why?

Why does such aggression seem to have arisen unbidden out of your consciousness to attack the world that has so wronged it by…

Revelling in joy?

I don’t know what to tell you, but here’s a reality check: if you can’t afford corn?

Go one step ahead of the bread line, pick up a sword, and see what you can now afford.

Or polish those swords, and see your just reward.

Corn is injurious to health?

This I have heard. A long a day a go a, in my first experience with an encyclopaedia: I arrived at a page about vitamin deficiencies resulting from diets of almost exclusively corn — I read it there on the upper landing on a sunny summer day, and it planted in me a genuine fear of the stuff for a number of years before I rediscovered the joy that is corn on the cob with the butter and the pepper and the salt and soured cream.

To this day, on the cob, fresh from the grill is the way I prefer corn — even if I’ve forgone the accoutrements besides pepper (indispensable).

Today’s meal wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be on a tortilla chip — though that has more to do with that terribly salty salsa than it does the corn I think. Hope my eggs are still good, because I don’t want to go out in this wind (for even a few seconds) to get new eggs so I can enjoy a bread sandwich… with egg.

Or more likely: take one bite of it, put my toast back on the plate, and eat it the way I usually do (there is joy in normalcy).

I can’t be the only one that thought this thread was about liquor.

Time may tell. Or it may not.

This thread could be about liquor… I have no big compunctions if it should trend that way.

I put the most vile thing in my mouth last night: churro-flavoured Baileys.

Yes, I liked the cinnamon, yes I kind of liked the aftertaste as if I had just eaten a whole bowl full of cinnamon toast crunch in whole milk…

But the stuff was vile enough I’ll never have another sip. I had really hoped it would be better.

 

[Clo]

The part of this story that stuck out to me was the fact you made yourself a Gluten-free meal.

It didn't feel like an accidental mention, and my coeliac-afflicted brain picked up that, and mostly tuned out the rest of the debate.

Also, whenever I see or read "Am I the first...?" or "Am I the only one...?" on the internet, my autistic brain immediately goes: "No. You're not."

There's always someone on the internet that thinks the same thing you do. It's a rule of the internet.

Echo chambers. Everywhere!

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

I hope it was well done.

 

[aToTeT]

The part of this story that stuck out to me was the fact you made yourself a Gluten-free meal.

It didn't feel like an accidental mention, and my coeliac-afflicted brain picked up that, and mostly tuned out the rest of the debate.

Also, whenever I see or read "Am I the first...?" or "Am I the only one...?" on the internet, my autistic brain immediately goes: "No. You're not."

There's always someone on the internet that thinks the same thing you do. It's a rule of the internet.

Echo chambers. Everywhere!

I don’t have the condition myself, but I can see how it happens, and I can see how I might’ve been heading that way: it has become something one could consider an epidemic — despite it having been a major portion of the diet of many of my ancestors.

Not unlike diabetes and tooth disease: these used to be less common — it’s not that the modern day in ‘the west’ is worse than the world that came before, but that there are problems that only happen when faced with our strange degree of excess.

These wheat grains are not the same ones we use to consume: their gluten might be the same amount, but the type is different. We get airy, fluffy, very malleable bread — something our ancestors never experienced… we eat more of it than ever before, and our antibiotic treatments don’t help either.

Our ancestors also died like crazy to diseases that we can now prevent very easily. It’s a mixed bag, but I’ve recently made a change in my life that has been nothing short of extraordinary for me.

Now, the question is of course: maybe it’s just because you’re more conscious of it that you’re eating better things and thus feel healthier as a result.

Maybe.

Spoiler

Or maybe between my no longer eating anything dyed with food colourings helped (I eat so few snacks now).

Maybe my avoiding sugar-added foods where possible helped (though the occasional candy can still find me if it’s made of cane sugar, I’m not as into eating it, so I eat less of it).

Maybe my daily intake of fibre supplement helps (I no longer get desperate hankerings for fresh fruit and veggies that make me feel almost insane until I have them in jy

Maybe my lower sodium intake is why my hands now fit in the small gloves at work instead of the large ones (I don’t think this one is refutable, sodium is bad for the body, and American food is so full of the stuff that I’ve started to find most of it outright disgusting: it’s just too damn salty, makes my teeth feel unclean).

Maybe my use of whole wheat wherever I take wheat in has helped (and we have it less in our diet than we used to, we were going three times a week white pasta and twice a week pizza for a while before; now our portion sizes are rarely finished in one sitting and we eat these things less in general).

Maybe my avoidance of nitrate-heavy meats and the reduction of meat in general and especially the cheapest version (consuming only the grass fed where possible— the flavour of the meat doesn’t resemble old sock now) and dairy products (grass fed milk is unreal, I can’t believe it doesn’t just disgust me completely anymore—though I don’t tend to use it anyway due to long beyond pretty intolerant to the lactose) in general has helped.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I feel better (migraine excepting — that’s sleep, nothing for it; it’s been rough) now than I have in quite a long time

Eating less, in a wider variety of higher quality foods.

The gluten free thing is kinda silly when you’re having tortilla chips made of corn, or eating rice cakes — I think it’s probably pointless branding, and if it isn’t pointless because some psychopath is out there putting gluten in rice cakes: that is a very sorry state of affairs.

But I absolutely do try not to lean too hard on wheat products: 1% of the American population suffers from coeliac disease.

3.5 million people in America alone… and that number only climbs as the effects of generations of bad diet advice compound (bread at the base of the food pyramid: monstrous).

Two separate very nice coworkers of mine have come down with a diagnosis of diabetes in the last year — it’s hard to pretend that what I put inside my body has no affect on the greater workings inside.

Whatever one of the wide combination of things I’ve done here that has made me feel better in general? I appreciate it immensely — now I just need to get on top of my sleep and I’ll be golden: stupid 2AM sandwich shift; one day I’ll get a job at a time of day that makes sense for my natural rhythm.

 

[Clo]

one day I’ll get a job at a time of day that makes sense for my natural rhythm.

I'd have to find a job that lets me work 6pm to 2am.

I'm one of the Night Owls people keep hearing about.

But at least, in my case, it's literally in my family name. "Veilleux" comes from "veiller", which is French for "to Watch". or "to stay up late".

So my family name means "Watchmen". Or "Folks who usually stay up late". Watchmen probably often had to do so, too.

I do my family name proud, dangit. None of my siblings carry the family name with as much pride as I do.

 

[aToTeT]

I hope it was well done.

If to me; no :(

The salsa was just terrible.

The corn didn’t mesh so well with it, but I thought I’d try something new; I think I can see a way to make it work, but it’s entirely dependent on one item (other than better salsa):

Cilantro. I needed fresh cilantro, and didn’t have any in it — I think I might make myself a poco de gallo later (tomorrow), so I can have more of those lovely chips (I ate maybe a quarter of the bag, hard to say).

 

[3guanoff]

That time I ran out of anything but beans and onions, I had beans fried with onions... with mashed beans.

 

[aToTeT]

I'd have to find a job that lets me work 6pm to 2am.

I'm one of the Night Owls people keep hearing about.

But at least, in my case, it's literally in my family name. "Veilleux" comes from "veiller", which is French for "to Watch". or "to stay up late".

So my family name means "Watchmen". Or "Folks who usually stay up late". Watchmen probably often had to do so, too.

I do my family name proud, dangit. None of my siblings carry the family name with as much pride as I do.

That’s pretty cool stuff.

My family didn’t have something so cool, but my husband’s family once shot a king dead with an arrow on a hunting trip! (And is immortalised and villainised by Shakespeare in Richard the third!)

That time I ran out of anything but beans and onions, I had beans fried with onions... with mashed beans.

…. Was it… good?

 

[3guanoff]

Absolutely! I like beans, lots of protein. And I was very hungry. But I still prefer... eating some rice or bread with it. Or potatoes. Or anything.

 

[Clo]

once shot a king dead with an arrow

Way to go!

My ancestors watched stuff.

Your husband's family went around comiting regicide.

I have nothing.

 

[aToTeT]

Way to go!

My ancestors watched stuff.

Your husband's family went around comiting regicide.

I have nothing.

Not yet you don’t…

But if you marry the right person… >_>

You won’t get to make jokes about your Johnson to prospective dating partners! :D

Edit: Which I have never done. Not once.

Absolutely! I like beans, lots of protein. And I was very hungry. But I still prefer... eating some rice or bread with it. Or potatoes. Or anything.

Beans are the best! They’re up there at any rate.

I suppose anything is more respectable than opening up a tin of refried beens and eating it with a spoon.

Cold. ?

Edit: WHICH I HAVE NEVER DONE!