Ah, yes, the noble pursuit of romance in fiction. You've introduced your characters, set the stage, and had them exchange a few polite "how-do-you-dos" before they inevitably get swept up in the grand tapestry of love. But how do you avoid turning your tale into a saccharine mess of cheese more pungent than a French cheese cellar, or worse, one of those cringy harems where the romance develops as naturally as a brick falling in love with a sidewalk? Don’t worry, dear
Iwriteforfun, I’ve got you covered with a no-nonsense, sarcasm-laced guide on how to write romance that doesn’t make your readers want to fling your novel across the room.
Step 1: Realize That Romance Is War, Not Peace
First things first: romance isn’t some serene, doe-eyed, hand-holding walk through a field of daisies. No, it’s a brutal, high-stakes battle where two people try to navigate their deep-seated insecurities, annoying habits, and inexplicable attraction to one another without imploding. Think of it as a slow-motion car crash, but the vehicles are full of unresolved trauma and awkward sexual tension. Your characters need friction. The more, the better. If they’re too agreeable, you’ve already lost the game. Have them argue over things that matter — values, morals, whether pineapple belongs on pizza. If they aren’t at each other’s throats at least once, it’s not love; it’s a lukewarm friendship.
Step 2: Casual Conversations Are for Cowards
Your characters have already exchanged some "casual conversations," you say? Well, congratulations, you’ve achieved the level of interaction normally seen between coworkers at a mandatory team-building seminar. You’re writing a novel, not the script for a mildly awkward office romance, so the goal is to skip past the banal small talk ASAP. Here’s the trick: the best romantic interactions aren’t about what’s being said — it’s about what’s simmering under the surface. So, drop the casual, and crank up the tension.
Let’s break it down:
- Subtext is your best friend. No one cares about the weather unless they’re using it to indirectly confess how much they hate or love the other person. Every banal sentence should be dripping with implications. He says, “Nice day out,” but what he means is, “I can’t stop thinking about you, you absolute maniac.”
- Interrupt the comfort. If your characters start getting too comfortable, throw in a curveball. Maybe one of them blurts out something vulnerable, making things gloriously awkward. Maybe they accidentally touch hands, and suddenly they’re both hyper-aware that they have feelings — feelings that are clearly going to ruin everything, but in a fun, dramatic way.
Step 3: Avoid "Cheese" Like It's Radioactive Waste
You don’t want it cheesy? Good. Cheese is for nachos, not novels. No one believes it when two people lock eyes and “just know” they’re meant for each other. If they do, they’re lying or hopped up on serotonin. Instead, let the attraction build slowly, subtly, like mold in an old sandwich. Your characters should fight against it. Give them every reason NOT to fall in love, and then make it unavoidable anyway.
Here’s a neat trick:
ban all forms of instant attraction and over-the-top gestures. No "he stared into her deep blue eyes and felt his heart skip a beat." Hearts don’t skip beats; that’s called arrhythmia. Make them begrudgingly fall for each other over time. They should barely notice until one day, boom, they’re in way too deep. Even then, deny them the satisfaction of an easy romance. They have to work for it.
Step 4: Don't Do "SSS-Class Suicide Hunter" Stuff
Ah, yes, the classic “SSS-Class Suicide Hunter” romance problem. You don’t want something too unnatural? Great. I also assume you don’t want anything to feel like it was randomly generated by a computer running on outdated AI technology. This is where pacing becomes your savior. You’ve already given them some conversations, so now slowly turn those up a notch. Add a dash of vulnerability here, a sprinkle of shared trauma there. Make sure their attraction feels earned, like they’ve fought through the trenches of their own mess to arrive at this ridiculous conclusion.
- Natural build-up is key. Let them reveal parts of themselves that no one else sees. But again, it’s not about laying it all out at once. Tiny glimpses work better — a flash of vulnerability, a secret shared in the dark, a hand lingering just a moment longer than necessary. Then, let them pull away, embarrassed by their own feelings. Because, hey, what’s romance without a few emotional scars, right?
Step 5: Burn Every Harem Trope You See
You mentioned Xianxia novels with their harem BS — truly, a plague on the genre. The solution here is simple: stop your characters from becoming empty husks of romantic interest who orbit around your protagonist like satellites. Every romantic lead needs to feel like a fully fleshed-out human being (or non-human, if that’s your jam), not just a trophy for your protagonist to win. Their personalities should
clash, their desires should
conflict, and by God, they should have more ambitions than “make the protagonist fall in love with me.”
A good romance should feel like the two people involved would be perfectly fine on their own but are better (or more interesting) together. The love interest should be able to walk out of the relationship and still have a personality left. If their entire existence revolves around the protagonist, you’ve accidentally written a lamp, not a lover.
Step 6: Tease Your Readers Like It’s Foreplay
The best part of romance in fiction is the buildup. You want your readers on the edge of their seats, screaming, "JUST KISS ALREADY." But here’s the twist: don’t give it to them. Not right away. Make them suffer. Keep the tension going for as long as humanly possible without making it boring. When your characters finally kiss (or whatever your equivalent is), it should feel like a victory for everyone involved, like the culmination of months of will-they-won’t-they agony.
In conclusion, romance isn’t about making things easy for your characters — it’s about torturing them with their own feelings until they can’t take it anymore. So, go forth and make those characters sweat. Let them struggle. And whatever you do, steer clear of that Xianxia harem nonsense. You’re better than that. We all are.
