Trying to provide backstory without being too infodumpy, feedback appreciated.

[Niraada]

Much like the title states, I'm trying to strike a balance between offering readers sufficient backstory without bogging things down with an infodump, but it's hard to judge it myself. At the same time, this particular bit of backstory references religions within a fictional world, some of which bear at least a passing resemblance to real world religion, and I'd like to get some others' takes on it before I include it in the story.

Feedback much appreciated.

Read Sample Here (Google Docs)

 

[ohko]

This is always a tough thing! Your writing sample is definitely dense to read!

For me personally, I try to avoid infodumps as much as possible, and will even hack the story so that it isn’t necessary to know everything that once.

I can usually get away with it because I don’t write with an omniscient narrator — and for me it’s unnecessary to expose all the details to the reader.

I usually try to avoid introducing more than one unknown thing at a time. For example, two characters talking about one new country in their conversation is manageable. Two characters talking about five new countries starts to get unwieldy.

I think once I read a story that tried to introduce thirteen different gods/goddesses in their first chapter (it was a reincarnation story where the MC met the gods), and you can sort of imagine that came off sort of poorly.

Since you’re the author, just hack your story so you don’t need to introduce so many things at once. You can always insert a random chapter here or there in advance solely for the purpose of introducing it... like a mini plot of a brief tangential thing so the reader is slowly familiarized.

I think there’s probably many ways to do it.

 

[Niraada]

This is always a tough thing! Your writing sample is definitely dense to read!

For me personally, I try to avoid infodumps as much as possible, and will even hack the story so that it isn’t necessary to know everything that once.

I can usually get away with it because I don’t write with an omniscient narrator — and for me it’s unnecessary to expose all the details to the reader.

I usually try to avoid introducing more than one unknown thing at a time. For example, two characters talking about one new country in their conversation is manageable. Two characters talking about five new countries starts to get unwieldy.

I think once I read a story that tried to introduce thirteen different gods/goddesses in their first chapter (it was a reincarnation story where the MC met the gods), and you can sort of imagine that came off sort of poorly.

Since you’re the author, just hack your story so you don’t need to introduce so many things at once. You can always insert a random chapter here or there in advance solely for the purpose of introducing it... like a mini plot of a brief tangential thing so the reader is slowly familiarized.

I think there’s probably many ways to do it.

Thanks very much. I've been trying to find ways to introduce things in a way that feels natural, but it's been particularly tricky with backstory that doesn't relate directly to the main characters just yet. I'm going to do another pass at it, and see if I can make it work with less fluff.

 

[Niraada]

I've taken another pass at it following your suggestion, Ohko, and I think you were 100% correct. I put it together as a conversation between some prominent forces that are influencing events, and (to me at least) it feels much more involved than how I tried it originally. If you have time to offer suggestions and feedback on the new sample, I would very much welcome it.

I'm not 100% on whether I struck the right balance with this one, but I do think it's an improvement.

New Sample (Google Docs)

 

[kaida]

I'm a tad late, but I agree with everything Ohko said. You're off to a good start, Niraada, I was expecting a more heavy infodump but the stuff you had on the doc wasn't all that bad. But I agree that it's super hard not to infodump! I still struggle with it. A small suggestion, but when you're hacking off your info and putting out little chunks here and there, try to introduce it in different ways so it seems more natural!

For example, have a character learn something about the religion by another character's dialogue or gather information from the way religious people dress. A gradual notice but still sufficient enough for your readers to understand.

And if you're interested in the last thing Ohko said about inserting a chapter about it, there are things called intercalary chapters, which are basically in-between chapters and usually not connected to the plotline itself but related to it!

Good luck with your writing!

 

[Niraada]

I appreciate the input, Kaida. As you might be able to tell, I'm quite inexperienced writing, but I've wanted to take it up for some time. Learning new ways to handle the various challenges it can present is really helpful.

Thank you again!