Please give my story a try!

[Aikari85]

Hikari Origin : Hitaku Quest

After defeating Yami, Hikari chooses to live with him. Before this, Hikari only has himself to face everything. But this time, fate has brought him to meet with a group called Hitaku. All of them have their own story. no matter what kind of things they need to do. Sometimes,...

www.scribblehub.com

My story is the true story about me and my friends on our way to reaching our dream. I hope you guys can try and give it some review and like

 

[Mighty]

Um.... I this is only my opinion I think you should rewrite the whole novel and you should read it before you post it or download an app that will read your text and use grammarly if your main language is not english well it's your choice if you will listen to my comment that's all

 

[Ai-chan]

As a Japanese, Ai-chan reads the first chapter with a permanent blown up face. Ai-chan doesn't know where you're from, but for Ai-chan, that was very difficult to read. Even if Ai-chan wants to help fix it, Ai-chan doesn't know where to start.

This picture was taken from the internet, but this was the face Ai-chan was making while reading the chapter. Ai-chan doesn't want to discourage you, but it really is very difficult to read.

 

[Mighty]

As a Japanese, Ai-chan reads the first chapter with a permanent blown up face. Ai-chan doesn't know where you're from, but for Ai-chan, that was very difficult to read. Even if Ai-chan wants to help fix it, Ai-chan doesn't know where to start.

This picture was taken from the internet, but this was the face Ai-chan was making while reading the chapter. Ai-chan doesn't want to discourage you, but it really is very difficult to read.

Um... Why are you always saying ai just want to ask?

 

[Lloyd]

Yeah lol the english is completely broken. XD

 

[GodlessEmperor]

Spoiler: Am I mean?

I developed 14 types of cancer while reading this

Please fix your grammar and paragraphing, I'm already bad at writing but even reading my own stuff I wouldn't feel these emotions.

 

[Ai-chan]

Um... Why are you always saying ai just want to ask?

It's Ai-chan's character quirk. Just ignore it. And no, it has nothing with being cute. Japanese people regularly forgo pronouns during conversations.

 

[Mighty]

Oh so it's like those cos playing a character sorry if I am wrong

 

[Aikari85]

Spoiler: Am I mean?

I developed 14 types of cancer while reading this

Please fix your grammar and paragraphing, I'm already bad at writing but even reading my own stuff I wouldn't feel these emoti

Yeah lol the english is completely broken. XD

sorry for my bad grammar... I will try to fix it

 

[LilTV1155]

Separate dialogues from storytelling events.