[Are You Sure You Wish To Apply For A Character? This choice is irreversible. Y/N]
Andrew stared at the pop-up window. This was the third one in a row. It was getting annoying. He had come across the Multi-User Shared Hallucination at random while he was bored at work. He was just googling odd games from when he was in college and this came up. Privately run, invitation only.
The application process took over three weeks.
Finally, he got a confirmation email. He had almost forgotten about the application, but here it was. And yet, the email seemed to be trying everything in his power to get him to turn it down. He clicked on the 'YES' button.
[It doesn't look like you read the end-user agreement. You clicked fairly fast. Perhaps you should go back and reread it, one more time. Do you want to go back to reread the end-user agreement? Y/N]
"What the hell?" Andrew cursed under his breath as he clicked the N, "Just process my Damn application!"
[FINE]
Andrew quirked an eyebrow.
[DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU]
Everything went black.
----
"Well, this is an interesting build."
Andrew looked around. Something was off. There was nothing but a grey room with a single desk. Behind it sat a grey outline of a humanoid. The voice sounded vaguely female. Andrew continued to look around but quickly discovered something was missing.
His body.
"What the... What's going on?"
The grey outlined sighed, "Another one who skipped over the end-user agreement, I assume." She clicked her tongue, "You warn them and warn them but do they listen? No..." She paused then added, "Well, technically it was all text, so you couldn't listen. You didn't READ." The outline shook her head, "And NO. There is no going back. Your old life is over. You're stuck with this one."
Andrew tried to move but could only look around, "Wait... am I strapped in a chair with VR goggles on?"
The figure rubbed her forehead, "Seriously? I'll sum it up. You applied to be a part of our little community. It was explained, that it's a world that is a training ground. It's real, the people are real. Everything is real. Remember?"
Andrew was quiet for a while, "I thought that was just fluff text."
"You people always do..." She sighed, "Look. We've taken your application because we are really... I'm REALLY low on support classes. It's... it's a mess. The whole world is a mess. Unfortunately, it's a sort of crucible. The purpose of this world is twofold."
The figure held up one finger, "The act of adventuring in this world generates mana. A LOT of mana. We constantly siphon off the excess. We use it to fuel the war effort. What war is that? Don't worry about it at this stage." She held up a second finger, "the second is for training purposes. We get a whole lot of ordinary souls, but none of them ever make it to the big leagues. We encourage them to progress, but most don't. That's fine."
Andrew interrupted, "Progress?"
She nodded, "Progress. Advance in level. If you advance in level, you get perks. Advance far enough, you can get contracts to go fight in the war."
"I don't want to fight in any war!"
The outline nodded, "That's fine. You don't have to, but we do make it worth your while if you do. But we don't want to just go shoveling people into a meat grinder, so we really will only approach you if you prove yourself capable." She shrugged, "Honestly, we get LOTS of people trying to make the cut, so if you aren't interested, you're soul is REALLY powerful. We'll get plenty of mana generation from you, so that's fine. No pressure."
She sighed, "The problem is, we get so many... SOLO applicants. We are trying to encourage people to form TEAMS, but they just..." She shook her head, "We don't get it. Maybe it's the environment or the type of people this sort of program attracts, but we don't get very many team players."
She perked up, "That's why your application was fast-tracked. We get absolutely NO applications for support characters."
Andrew was silent for a bit, "Uhh... did you read my application?"
She nodded, "It's... unusual, but acceptable. You picked so many weak classes with support abilities that the higher-ups were worried about your survival, but after we reviewed your requested starting race, we figured it would all work out."
Andrew tried to rub his forehead, realized he didn't have an arm, and then took a deep breath, "They approved it, without any arguments? I figured how game-breaking it was, that'd you torpedo most of it, and I'd have to compromise."
The figure laughed, "Seriously? You applied for a fifth-level starting character! You could have started at the eleventh. Very modest! You have, no less than four starting classes, and only one advanced class, and it is the weakest advanced class possible. Nobody takes it! Multiclassing always results in a weak combat build, so you'll certainly be relegated to party support."
"Uhhh... and... the bloodlines were approved? I have all three bloodlines in one character. The Lesser, greater, and crown? As a HUMAN?" Andrew sounded baffled.
The figure poked at the air and some windows appeared, "Well... yes. Crown Bloodline Titan, Greater Bloodline Mytheral Dragon, Lesser Bloodline Angel." She looked up, "Very unusual combination, but considering how weak your build was."
"And the Martial Artist, Psychic, Edolmancer, Librarian, and Divine Mind classes were all approved?" Andrew sounded like he didn't believe it.
The figure nodded and sounded a little annoyed, "Yes. However, you understand that your build doesn't quite work. There are some errors in it so-"
"No errors. Just let me set it up in the right order. There is a very specific way that everything must be purchased." Andrew sounded somewhat panicked, "Can you... I dunno. Give me hands and let me do this!"
The figure was a little confused, "Uhh... I... can't see how the buy order will change anything." She shrugged and snapped her fingers, then tapped the desk. The windows all reversed direction to face Andrew, "Go ahead." She clicked in the corner to zero out the build, "Spend things in whatever order you want."
Andrew started tapping on the character build windows.
If the outline had a mouth, it would be frowning MOST deeply.
----
"Wait! What are you doing?"
"I'm automatically 5th level, right? The three bloodlines have penalty levels you must pay to get them. Three levels for crown, two for greater, and one for lesser, making it six in total. I'm just choosing to pay them off, one after another, at first level."
"So, you technically advanced to the second level, seven times?"
"Exactly. Now the first level is psychic, but I'll be taking the alternate class version, Arcane Psychic, so I can learn arcane spells as psychic versions. The second level is Librarian, but I'll be taking the alternate class version Divine Librarian."
She tilted her head to the side, "Wait, why not just be a wizard priest?"
Andrew looked up, "The spell lists are too limited. These spell lists are ALL arcane, except the most advanced, and all divine, except the most advanced. I'll give up ninth circle spells for access to EVERY spell list of EVERY class, and arcane psychics can still buy from the psychic power list, it just costs extra experience."
The outline nodded, "Oh... well. You are still multiclassing spell casters. You're not going to advance fast in either."
"Oh, don't worry about that, I'm going to take divine mind at the third level."
"You can't do that. You don't-"
Andrew pointed at the three bloodlines, "Bloodline penalty levels count towards increasing your maximum skill limits. So with six penalty levels, I get plus six to all my skill maximums. They also count towards advancing your class ability in all other classes, as long as they are level-dependent abilities. So it doesn't count for my caster level, but DOES count for the maximum possible level spell I could CAST. Also, I'm taking the sacrificial magic feature, so I can sacrifice two lesser spells to cast a spell one level higher, therefore, qualifying for divine mind at third."
"You have psychic powers, not spells."
"Arcane psychics count as psychics and arcane spell casters."
The outline slammed her hands down on the table and flipped the windows around. She examined the windows for several minutes, then turned the windows back to face Andrew, "You... are correct."
Andrew nodded, "Next is Edolmancer."
The outline leaned over the desk, "Hold it. You can only take that class if you are dead."
Andrew nodded, "Yes. It is assumed I died at third, then advanced as a ghost for two levels, and then I was brought back to life with a death penalty of one level, leaving me back at fourth level, but alive."
The figure stabbed a finger at the character window, "But when you are brought back to life, you have to re-spend that class level."
Andrew shook his head, "No, I don't."
The outline shook her head and let out a, "Huh?"
Andrew flipped a window around, "I have the OPTION of re-spending and getting a different class. I can keep it if I want."
"Why would-"
Andrew cut her off, "Because it adds to the caster level of another class, as a class ABILITY."
The figure suddenly pulled away, "Wait-"
Andrew nodded, "The six sacrificed levels add to my Edolmancer class ability, giving me a total plus seven to another spellcasting class. I assign those levels to Divine Mind. Divine mind adds a caster level to both my Arcane Psychic and Divine Librarian."
"So... at fifth-level, you are an eighth-level arcane psychic and eighth-level divine librarian." She sounded stunned, "You managed to advance three levels as a caster past where you should be in not one, but TWO classes!?"
Andrew nodded, "Originally, I was going to cheese arcane mind to double advance arcane psychic to fifteenth level, but I like having diverse options." He cleared his throat, "Anyways, last but not least, I'm taking Martial Artist at fifth level, but as the alternate class, clever gladiator. As my fifth level feature, I take psychic pugilist, so all my psionic levels add to my martial artist levels for calculating martial artist abilities."
The grey outline visibly paled.
"The six penalty levels add to Clever Gladiator for calculating abilities, they also add to my Arcane Psychic and Divine Mind for the purpose of adding to martial artist abilities, thanks to psychic pugilist, which means-"
She cut him off, "You are only a first-level martial artist, but your martial artist abilities are at level twenty-one." She looked up to stare at him, "Anything else?"
He nodded, "I get a bonus feature because I'm human that I have not spent yet. I wait until the fifth level to spend it."
The outline cringed.
"Bonus Familiar. Its level is equal to the sum of all my class levels. I have five classes, and the six penalty levels increase each one to seven for calculating my familiar, which is a class feature."
"You... have a level thirty-five familiar?"
He shook his head, "Oh. No. I'm spending my third-level bonus feature as well to get greater familiar. I'll be getting a mirror imp which comes with a sixteen-level penalty. It'll only be level nineteen."
The outline frowned and began to furiously check through her database. Upon finding the entry, her hand started to tremble, "That... this thing..." She looked up, "It is-"
Andrew cut her off, "-In my application!" He started to tap the desk to emphasize each word, "I wrote everything down and outlined everything. I was very specific. I included over twenty pages of notes detailing exactly what I was building." He chuckled softly, "I guess someone didn't bother reading it."
The outline let out a rather annoyed-sounding sigh, "I... very well. Finish up the specifics, I guess."
He nodded, "I already have the spell and psychic ability list made out. I see no reason to change it."
She looked over the character for quite a while then looked up, "You are going to be quite the glass cannon."
He nodded, "That... is the downside to this build. I really can't take a hit. Which is why I need to be a martial artist. I'm going to need all the dodge bonuses I can get, and fortunately, Arcane Psychic, Divine Librarian, and Clever Gladiator all use intelligence as their primary stat. The more intelligent I am, the easier it will be for me to avoid getting hit."
The outline let out a long sigh, "Well... it was approved." She looked at him intently, "I suspect you are still going to be in the support role, yes?"
Andrew nodded, "of course."
"Very well, about your cheat ability-"
"Hold it. My what now?"
"Your cheat ability. We give everyone who-"
"No."
"What?"
"I'm not a cheater. I don't cheat. I don't use cheat anything. I am, admittedly, a goddamn, power-gaming, rules-lawyering, munchkin who abuses the system like it was a red-headed stepchild, but I do NOT cheat."
She laughed nervously, "Well, that's just what we call it. It's not really a 'cheat' because we approve giving it to you."
Andrew crossed his ethereal arms, "And what is the ability categorized as?"
The outline was quiet for a bit, then softly answered, "A cheat ability."
Andrew shook his head, "No. Sorry. But I'll be just fine with my highly abused character, thank you very much."
"But-!"
"NO." Andrew slapped his hand down on the desk, "I refuse to take a cheat ability! Period. END of CONVERSATION. I am so MANY things, but I am NOT a cheater!"
The outline sputtered. She looked shocked at the abrupt appearance of a window, floating in the air facing so only she could see it. She seemed shaken by its contents. With a trembling finger, she touched the floating window and it vanished.
She cleared her throat, "The higher-ups have approved waving the cheat ability. You... will enter your new world as is."
Andrew nodded, "Thanks. I know it might sound odd, but it is a matter of pride for me. I couldn't sleep at night if I was a cheater."
The outline nodded, "Very well." She pressed a square on her desk, "Goodbye and good luck." A second later, Andrew disappeared.
Immediately afterward she tapped the table several times and a window appeared on her desk. Another grey outline looked up from it, "Oh. Something wrong?"
"What the hell is going on? Why was he let out of here without a cheat ability? How are we supposed to-"
"THAT." The new outline said, "Is not your problem, nor your concern."
She tapped her chest, "Hey. Just as long as it doesn't come back to haunt me. Whatever happens is NOT my fault."
The window replied, "Yes yes, of course. I'll send you a memo clearly stating this isn't your call and that whatever happens isn't your responsibility."
The outline sitting at the desk seemed mollified, "Well... alright." The window winked out. The outline took a deep sigh, "This is going to end badly. I just know it."
She started reviewing her next case file...
But this time...
She read EVERYTHING.
