World building feedback - Sci-fi Faction report (Evil, dark, corruption)

[Beta_Krogoth]

Hey everyone, I've been working on a world building document to go along with my fiction, written in the style of a official report published about the faction/affliction. I wanted an official sounding, SCP-esq. feel to it. I don't think I can port it onto scribblehub directly though as its built in google docs with custom imagery I've made. This is for my "Heavy Weapons" universe which is a adult sci-fi world/story. I won't spoil it but this is a dark faction and are antagonists in a lot of my written stories, but that will become obvious if you read.

Its 95% complete at the moment so I'm happy to share it, all feedback appreciated - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lXzG785PIPkannfs5Qhnoh4FVO8nsKIpODu5QUer2tg/edit?usp=sharing

 

[Deleted member 58005]

It's an STD!?

Anyway, I love the details in the report. This is pretty unique, at least for me.

 

[Zirrboy]

I just skimmed, so I can't say much about the content, but it does read like an information campaign article, and a pretty good one at that, imo.

 

[Beta_Krogoth]

It's an STD!?

Anyway, I love the details in the report. This is pretty unique, at least for me.

Thank you very much! And yeah, its the universes most dangerous STD! I originally designed it as a horny trap but people didn't care and fell into it anyway, so i've just continued to develop them anyway!

I just skimmed, so I can't say much about the content, but it does read like an information campaign article, and a pretty good one at that, imo.

Thank you! Looks like i've done what I set out to do. This one feels good for me because I own all the images used rather than borrowing or editing stuff online, so it really feels like mine, you know?

 

[LostLibrarian]

Wouldn't be too hard to have the same thing in SH...
The style is cool, but it's also a massive infodump. I don't think it's something I would want to see as a reader as part of the "main-chapters".
That said, the level of detail should give you a lot of more grounded ideas when it comes to the story itself.

 

[Beta_Krogoth]

Wouldn't be too hard to have the same thing in SH...
The style is cool, but it's also a massive infodump. I don't think it's something I would want to see as a reader as part of the "main-chapters".
That said, the level of detail should give you a lot of more grounded ideas when it comes to the story itself.

Oh yeah, its just a big-ass info dump. I hope i've written it in a way thats fun to read anyway, I wouldn't add this in as part of a chapter or story though, this would be background reading for those interested. I've always known these things about the corruption/faction anyway but its something i've wanted to get down.

I really enjoyed writing the quotes at the end, I didn't want to overdo it but those tables with the different types feels effective.

 

[LostLibrarian]

I really enjoyed writing the quotes at the end, I didn't want to overdo it but those tables with the different types feels effective.

That style is cool and probably one of the things you could use in actual writing. Start with a "blank table" and always add the thing that started to appear in some interlude-chapter with a short text to it.

So yeah, it had more flair to it than the usual infodump which also makes it a bit awkward. It feels "too much work" for just background information for the author, but out of place for the actual readers. It's an interesting and fun thing, but you should pay attention so you don't fall into worldbuilder-disease.

That nice document there is probably on "good enough"-document and multiple chapters.

 

[Beta_Krogoth]

That style is cool and probably one of the things you could use in actual writing. Start with a "blank table" and always add the thing that started to appear in some interlude-chapter with a short text to it.

So yeah, it had more flair to it than the usual infodump which also makes it a bit awkward. It feels "too much work" for just background information for the author, but out of place for the actual readers. It's an interesting and fun thing, but you should pay attention so you don't fall into worldbuilder-disease.

That nice document there is probably on "good enough"-document and multiple chapters.

I... think I might already have the worldbuilder disease! I will refine the tables at the end though into something workable, I like the way they read and present. Thank you for your input though, much appreciated.