What do you think of this idea for the story I'm working on, The Plague of Butterflies?

[RainingFish]

The Plague of Butterflies consists of bright, multicolored butterflies. When the butterflies land on living creatures, it causes their bodies to mutate and produce more butterflies. This can create a chain reaction that can wipe out whole cities.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

The flavour seems cool enough, but it isn't detailed enough yet to make an entire story based on. Unless you are writing it as a horror/thriller?

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

Unless your book is going to be literally nothing but one butterfly mutation after another, what else can we choose besides "Needs work"?

 

[RainingFish]

The flavour seems cool enough, but it isn't detailed enough yet to make an entire story based on. Unless you are writing it as a horror/thriller?

Well, the story does have some horror themes to it, although it's not really a horror story since it focuses on a lot of players who can't really die. For most of the normal people in the world, it might be a horror story.

Anyway, I need a lot of weird monsters for the world, and this is one of the ones I'm considering. Although I'm not sure about this one, so I'm asking for opinions. As for chain reactions of wiping out cities, it's not actually going to happen. Most people in this world are used to dealing with horrible monsters and won't let things get so out of hand. At best, it might wipe out a small settlement or two.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

Well, the story does have some horror themes to it, although it's not really a horror story since it focuses on a lot of players who can't really die. For most of the normal people in the world, it might be a horror story.

Not what I meant. You can have a single unexplained element in a horror story. For example bird box or quiet place. (And in some cases zombies, but those are special because zombies are normally just plot devices to create drama... bit more complex than that, but yeah.)

Those work with a single mysterious enemy, and are both good choices to analyze for writing.
But if that isn't what you're doing? Then you don't have anywhere as much leniency leaving these butterflies so unexpanded.

Especially if you have immortal characters you need to have more depth than 'scary mutating butterfly' for a story idea. (This may be fine with the other weird monsters, but not by itself)

The basis is sound, cool visual is a plus. But that isn't a story, that is a single creature in an unexplained world. All you had told us is that cities can die from these.

Anyway, I need a lot of weird monsters for the world, and this is one of the ones I'm considering. Although I'm not sure about this one, so I'm asking for opinions. As for chain reactions of wiping out cities, it's not actually going to happen. Most people in this world are used to dealing with horrible monsters and won't let things get so out of hand. At best, it might wipe out a small settlement or two.

I think you need to tell us about this world. Why are some immortal (Unless that's secret) Why are there these monsters? What is the level of development and civilization? How many people and cultures? Are they used to these monsters? How many regular people are you wanting dead from this?

 

[Clo]

That sound like Jason Asano's affliction-spreading butterflies as seen in He Who Fight With Monsters. If you want to explore the idea, maybe check it out, as it's a strong comparable.

 

[RainingFish]

Not what I meant. You can have a single unexplained element in a horror story. For example bird box or quiet place. (And in some cases zombies, but those are special because zombies are normally just plot devices to create drama... bit more complex than that, but yeah.)

Those work with a single mysterious enemy, and are both good choices to analyze for writing.
But if that isn't what you're doing? Then you don't have anywhere as much leniency leaving these butterflies so unexpanded.

Especially if you have immortal characters you need to have more depth than 'scary mutating butterfly' for a story idea. (This may be fine with the other weird monsters, but not by itself)

The basis is sound, cool visual is a plus. But that isn't a story, that is a single creature in an unexplained world. All you had told us is that cities can die from these.

I think you need to tell us about this world. Why are some immortal (Unless that's secret) Why are there these monsters? What is the level of development and civilization? How many people and cultures? Are they used to these monsters? How many regular people are you wanting dead from this?

Let me give some details about the story. Two worlds are involved in the story. A post-apocalyptic fantasy world (no name yet) and a future high-tech version of Earth.

In regard to the post-apocalyptic fantasy world:

The world was a fairly generic fantasy setting before the invasion. It consisted of such things as gods, mages, warriors, and various races like elves, etc. Then the unbound invaded. The unbound are a race known for preying on other worlds. They derive power from twisting, breaking, and ultimately devouring the rules that govern the worlds they invade. The creatures of the fantasy world weren’t willing to take that lying down, so when they invaded, there was a big war.

Ultimately, the nameless fantasy world won but also lost because the world was a mess afterward. The heavens were destroyed, and now the world is littered with broken pieces of the heavens, dead gods, and dead unbound lords. These remains are the source of all the chaotic monsters and pollution. They are endlessly breeding all kinds of strange and chaotic things, like the butterflies mentioned before. The butterflies are just normal monsters, and I don’t actually plan for any cities to be destroyed. I guess I shouldn’t have used such rhetoric. While theoretically, they could lead to such a disaster if things got out of control, they are also weak butterflies that can be killed with a stick.

The world now consists of three main parts:

The inner city is where most of the people live. Despite being called a city, it’s actually more like a small country, including its own farmlands. The inner city is ruled by priests, nobles, and mages and worships three gods: the harvest god, the god of war, and the god of wisdom. These three gods are the gods that retained the most strength after the great war, so they are able to monopolize the inner city.

Outside the inner city are the slums. The living environment of the slums is much worse. It’s filled with pollution caused by the war that can lead to various negative effects, including mutations. There are also a number of invading evil gods from other worlds who take advantage of the world's weakness to prey on people and some other hazards. It’s also where the believers of the loser gods (e.g., the god of games) live, as only believers of the three gods are allowed to live in the inner city. As for the gods themselves, they used to live in heaven and their kingdom of god, but now that the heavens are gone, they are stuck in their kingdom of god. They can’t go to the mortal world themselves and can only send down things like angels or clones. The loser gods are losers because they lost too much during the war and don’t have any demigod-level combat power to protect their interests in the mortal world.

Outside the slums is the waste land. The wastes are unlivable to all but the most hearty life forms. They are filled with twisted abominations and horrors but are also an important source of resources for the people of the slums who are strong enough or desperate enough to enter.

Anyway, that's the world before the story starts. The main character, Robert, switches places with the ‘god of games’ (no spoiler as to why) and has to deal with his problems. Eventually, he makes progress, becomes ambitious, and even manages to summon players from Earth to help him accomplish his goals.

As for some of your questions.
“Why are some immortal (unless that's a secret)?”
The players are basically just puppets controlled by people on Earth who think they are playing a VR game. The god of games was able to do this mostly because of his authority as the god of games.

“Why are there these monsters?”
Almost all the monsters are born from the remains left over from the great war. The twisting power left in the remains of the unbound lords combined with the remains from the fantasy world has led to a very chaotic situation.

“What is the level of development and civilization?”
In the slums, most people live in small walled communities. These communities don't interact much with each other, although some communities are forced to pay more powerful communities protection money. Most of these communities are very agrarian and self-sufficient. The ‘inner city’ is more connected, and they have a few big settlements. Both places aren’t that developed, though, and it’s a bit like the Middle Ages plus magic and horror.

“How many people and cultures?”
There are around 33 million people in the inner city and around 11 million in the slums. Culture is mostly medieval-like. There are still a few dwarves, elves, and other races left. Maybe about 1 million of the population.

“Are they used to these monsters?“
People in the inner city live pretty safe lives. There are high walls around the inner city and lots of guards. The slums are much more dangerous, but many settlements go years without having a monster invade their territory. The problem is that when it does happen, it’s often bad. If I’m going to include the butterflies, they’d be a monster most people recognize and know how to deal with to some extent. Most people who encounter monsters are those who go into the wastes to look for treasure. The remains in the wastes have bred many horrible things, but they have also bred some valuable things.

“How many regular people are you wanting dead from this?”
From the butterflies? Probably not many. Maybe one or two communities from the slums (between 200 and 400 people) at most. It would be good if the players knew them first to make it more impactful.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

Anyway, that's the world before the story starts. The main character, Robert, switches places with the ‘god of games’ (no spoiler as to why) and has to deal with his problems. Eventually, he makes progress, becomes ambitious, and even manages to summon players from Earth to help him accomplish his goals.

I like the concept overall, bit weird that the world is a single city. From a game design perspective it is a bit worrisome, but considering how many people live there... it most be absolutely massive.

I think what you should be thinking and worrying about isn't the monsters in a world like this. The butterflies are cool, I like them... but instead what exactly is the story going to be about?

Robert summons heroes to help with goals. Is this secret, or is it trying to fix the world or something?

When you have these players, are you using their perspective or a third person as Robert watches?

Is there more conflict than just the monsters? Does he interact with people or gods? What do people think of him...

The monsters while cool- are not what you'll probably want to be focused on. They would be in a story of a nonplayer studying them or becoming a hunter that using knowledge before strength.

You can develop these monsters really deeply, but unless you have a prominent character or plot that will want to delve into it. Then in most cases you'll need to keep it out of the story.

I would love to give some more advice, but it isn't really clear what you will be doing with it. Players are able to do a lot and I have no clue what Robert is wanting to do with them.

 

[StoneInky]

Let me give some details about the story. Two worlds are involved in the story. A post-apocalyptic fantasy world (no name yet) and a future high-tech version of Earth.

In regard to the post-apocalyptic fantasy world:

The world was a fairly generic fantasy setting before the invasion. It consisted of such things as gods, mages, warriors, and various races like elves, etc. Then the unbound invaded. The unbound are a race known for preying on other worlds. They derive power from twisting, breaking, and ultimately devouring the rules that govern the worlds they invade. The creatures of the fantasy world weren’t willing to take that lying down, so when they invaded, there was a big war.

Ultimately, the nameless fantasy world won but also lost because the world was a mess afterward. The heavens were destroyed, and now the world is littered with broken pieces of the heavens, dead gods, and dead unbound lords. These remains are the source of all the chaotic monsters and pollution. They are endlessly breeding all kinds of strange and chaotic things, like the butterflies mentioned before. The butterflies are just normal monsters, and I don’t actually plan for any cities to be destroyed. I guess I shouldn’t have used such rhetoric. While theoretically, they could lead to such a disaster if things got out of control, they are also weak butterflies that can be killed with a stick.

The world now consists of three main parts:

The inner city is where most of the people live. Despite being called a city, it’s actually more like a small country, including its own farmlands. The inner city is ruled by priests, nobles, and mages and worships three gods: the harvest god, the god of war, and the god of wisdom. These three gods are the gods that retained the most strength after the great war, so they are able to monopolize the inner city.

Outside the inner city are the slums. The living environment of the slums is much worse. It’s filled with pollution caused by the war that can lead to various negative effects, including mutations. There are also a number of invading evil gods from other worlds who take advantage of the world's weakness to prey on people and some other hazards. It’s also where the believers of the loser gods (e.g., the god of games) live, as only believers of the three gods are allowed to live in the inner city. As for the gods themselves, they used to live in heaven and their kingdom of god, but now that the heavens are gone, they are stuck in their kingdom of god. They can’t go to the mortal world themselves and can only send down things like angels or clones. The loser gods are losers because they lost too much during the war and don’t have any demigod-level combat power to protect their interests in the mortal world.

Outside the slums is the waste land. The wastes are unlivable to all but the most hearty life forms. They are filled with twisted abominations and horrors but are also an important source of resources for the people of the slums who are strong enough or desperate enough to enter.

Anyway, that's the world before the story starts. The main character, Robert, switches places with the ‘god of games’ (no spoiler as to why) and has to deal with his problems. Eventually, he makes progress, becomes ambitious, and even manages to summon players from Earth to help him accomplish his goals.

As for some of your questions.
“Why are some immortal (unless that's a secret)?”
The players are basically just puppets controlled by people on Earth who think they are playing a VR game. The god of games was able to do this mostly because of his authority as the god of games.

“Why are there these monsters?”
Almost all the monsters are born from the remains left over from the great war. The twisting power left in the remains of the unbound lords combined with the remains from the fantasy world has led to a very chaotic situation.

“What is the level of development and civilization?”
In the slums, most people live in small walled communities. These communities don't interact much with each other, although some communities are forced to pay more powerful communities protection money. Most of these communities are very agrarian and self-sufficient. The ‘inner city’ is more connected, and they have a few big settlements. Both places aren’t that developed, though, and it’s a bit like the Middle Ages plus magic and horror.

“How many people and cultures?”
There are around 33 million people in the inner city and around 11 million in the slums. Culture is mostly medieval-like. There are still a few dwarves, elves, and other races left. Maybe about 1 million of the population.

“Are they used to these monsters?“
People in the inner city live pretty safe lives. There are high walls around the inner city and lots of guards. The slums are much more dangerous, but many settlements go years without having a monster invade their territory. The problem is that when it does happen, it’s often bad. If I’m going to include the butterflies, they’d be a monster most people recognize and know how to deal with to some extent. Most people who encounter monsters are those who go into the wastes to look for treasure. The remains in the wastes have bred many horrible things, but they have also bred some valuable things.

“How many regular people are you wanting dead from this?”
From the butterflies? Probably not many. Maybe one or two communities from the slums (between 200 and 400 people) at most. It would be good if the players knew them first to make it more impactful.

I'm more concerned about the protagonist and plot. Which was

The main character, Robert, switches places with the ‘god of games’ (no spoiler as to why) and has to deal with his problems. Eventually, he makes progress, becomes ambitious, and even manages to summon players from Earth to help him accomplish his goals.

So your idea is a story is about this, not about butterflies. But since your novel's title is 'The Plague of Butterflies', how are they important in your story? By story, I don't mean the background setting, but the protagonist and plot. Are they the main baddies? Are they more of just symbolism that is going to be deeply explored in the novel?

If they're not going to be important, then you should change the title, but anyway, let's focus on Robert again.

Omnii's questions are all valid. You want em answered. Why is Robert trying to summon gamers? Why? And how will this work? What are the 'problems' he's trying to solve? If you answer them, then poof, you have an idea! Yay.

I especially hope you consider a lot on the 'why' part. Depending on your answer, this story can go from my type of novel to boring stuff, real quick. I hate bland protagonists without much characterization.

 

[RainingFish]

I'm more concerned about the protagonist and plot. Which was


So your idea is a story is about this, not about butterflies. But since your novel's title is 'The Plague of Butterflies', how are they important in your story? By story, I don't mean the background setting, but the protagonist and plot. Are they the main baddies? Are they more of just symbolism that is going to be deeply explored in the novel?

If they're not going to be important, then you should change the title, but anyway, let's focus on Robert again.

Omnii's questions are all valid. You want em answered. Why is Robert trying to summon gamers? Why? And how will this work? What are the 'problems' he's trying to solve? If you answer them, then poof, you have an idea! Yay.

I especially hope you consider a lot on the 'why' part. Depending on your answer, this story can go from my type of novel to boring stuff, real quick. I hate bland protagonists without much characterization.

I didn't word things well. I never intended The Plague of Butterflies to be the title of the story. It's just an idea for a monster. The book doesn't have a title yet, but I'm thinking of naming it 'Darkness Online.'

As for some of the questions.

"Why is Robert trying to summon gamers?"

He summoned the players because he needed divine power. Gods can get divine power from people’s faith, and as the god of games, he can also get divine power from people playing games that have a connection with him. So he wants as many people playing the game as possible so he can get more divine power, and he doesn't care so much what the players do so long as they aren't getting him into trouble.

As for saving the world, maybe he'll want to do that later, but at the beginning he doesn't have such ability. He did use 'saving the world' as the plot of the 'game', but he doesn't actually think the players can do it.

As for why he wants divine power, gods need divine power for lots of things. For example, gods need divine power just to stay alive. Right now he doesn’t have enough believers to meet his most basic needs, so he needs other sources, like the players. Also, if he gets enough divine power, he can create a demigod-level avatar, which he can send to the mortal realm to protect his believers when they are in danger. If he can take care of his believers and increase their numbers, he won't need to be reliant on the players. Plus, he thinks that he can use divine power to deal with the situation he has with the original god of games.

"Why? And how will this work?"

Gods can do lots of things. Gods have authority, which gives them special powers within the scope of that authority. For the god of harvest, the scope of authority is helping grow crops. For the god war, the scope of authority is helping win wars. For the god of games, the scope of authority is helping people play games. So the god of games can use his authority to help the ‘players’ play games.

But just because something is within a god’s authority doesn't mean they are all-powerful. If that were the case, then the world wouldn’t be messed up. With the god of war on their side, the gods should have easily won.

There are limits to authority. It could be countered by things of an equal or higher tier, for example, the authority of other gods or the strange abilities of the unbound lords. It also isn’t free. It takes divine power to use authority. The players take a certain investment, but they will pay it back after around 40 hours of playtime.

Other than authority, another reason he was able to summon the players is that he’s still connected to the original god of games who switched places with him. This mysterious connection lets him connect to his original world, but it is also a big point of concern for him. He doesn’t understand what this connection is, what it will do, and is unable to affect it, so he is understandably concerned, and one of the reasons he is eager to get divine power is to solve this issue.

As for a little more detail about how he summons players, the word summon is a convenient term but not strictly accurate for what’s happening. The player never actually leaves Earth. In the ‘game’ Robert made, the world is a game board, the pieces are characters, and the people on earth are the players. They control the pieces remotely using their game pods. As for lag, the god of the game’s authority allows for the instant transmission of information.

"What are the 'problems' he's trying to solve?"

He actually has quite a few problems. It might seem like he’s in a strong position with his ‘indestructible’ players, but actually, the main thing that keeps him safe is the ignorance of those who might wish to harm him. If someone destroyed his player's resurrection points and killed his believers, he would be doomed to be trapped in his kingdom of heaven waiting for his divine power to run out. So he needs to be careful not to let his players attract the wrong kind of attention while also not interfering with their enjoyment of the game since he needs them to keep playing long hours.

He also needs to worry about the unknown situation with the old god of games.

Lastly, he needs to hope that the players don’t find out it’s not really a game, because if they stop thinking of it as a game, it leaves the scope of his authority.

He has a lot of problems he needs to overcome to reach his goal. As for what his goal is, it includes surviving, of course, but he also wants to remain a god. He doesn’t really want to go back. He has no strong attachments to his previous life, and he thinks being a god is interesting, and it doesn’t hurt that gods can live a long time. Later on in the story, his goals will change when he gets more information.

I think there are some of Omnii's questions I haven’t answered yet, but I need to go to sleep now. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

 

[StoneInky]

P

I didn't word things well. I never intended The Plague of Butterflies to be the title of the story. It's just an idea for a monster. The book doesn't have a title yet, but I'm thinking of naming it 'Darkness Online.'

As for some of the questions.

"Why is Robert trying to summon gamers?"

He summoned the players because he needed divine power. Gods can get divine power from people’s faith, and as the god of games, he can also get divine power from people playing games that have a connection with him. So he wants as many people playing the game as possible so he can get more divine power, and he doesn't care so much what the players do so long as they aren't getting him into trouble.

As for saving the world, maybe he'll want to do that later, but at the beginning he doesn't have such ability. He did use 'saving the world' as the plot of the 'game', but he doesn't actually think the players can do it.

As for why he wants divine power, gods need divine power for lots of things. For example, gods need divine power just to stay alive. Right now he doesn’t have enough believers to meet his most basic needs, so he needs other sources, like the players. Also, if he gets enough divine power, he can create a demigod-level avatar, which he can send to the mortal realm to protect his believers when they are in danger. If he can take care of his believers and increase their numbers, he won't need to be reliant on the players. Plus, he thinks that he can use divine power to deal with the situation he has with the original god of games.

"Why? And how will this work?"

Gods can do lots of things. Gods have authority, which gives them special powers within the scope of that authority. For the god of harvest, the scope of authority is helping grow crops. For the god war, the scope of authority is helping win wars. For the god of games, the scope of authority is helping people play games. So the god of games can use his authority to help the ‘players’ play games.

But just because something is within a god’s authority doesn't mean they are all-powerful. If that were the case, then the world wouldn’t be messed up. With the god of war on their side, the gods should have easily won.

There are limits to authority. It could be countered by things of an equal or higher tier, for example, the authority of other gods or the strange abilities of the unbound lords. It also isn’t free. It takes divine power to use authority. The players take a certain investment, but they will pay it back after around 40 hours of playtime.

Other than authority, another reason he was able to summon the players is that he’s still connected to the original god of games who switched places with him. This mysterious connection lets him connect to his original world, but it is also a big point of concern for him. He doesn’t understand what this connection is, what it will do, and is unable to affect it, so he is understandably concerned, and one of the reasons he is eager to get divine power is to solve this issue.

As for a little more detail about how he summons players, the word summon is a convenient term but not strictly accurate for what’s happening. The player never actually leaves Earth. In the ‘game’ Robert made, the world is a game board, the pieces are characters, and the people on earth are the players. They control the pieces remotely using their game pods. As for lag, the god of the game’s authority allows for the instant transmission of information.

"What are the 'problems' he's trying to solve?"

He actually has quite a few problems. It might seem like he’s in a strong position with his ‘indestructible’ players, but actually, the main thing that keeps him safe is the ignorance of those who might wish to harm him. If someone destroyed his player's resurrection points and killed his believers, he would be doomed to be trapped in his kingdom of heaven waiting for his divine power to run out. So he needs to be careful not to let his players attract the wrong kind of attention while also not interfering with their enjoyment of the game since he needs them to keep playing long hours.

He also needs to worry about the unknown situation with the old god of games.

Lastly, he needs to hope that the players don’t find out it’s not really a game, because if they stop thinking of it as a game, it leaves the scope of his authority.

He has a lot of problems he needs to overcome to reach his goal. As for what his goal is, it includes surviving, of course, but he also wants to remain a god. He doesn’t really want to go back. He has no strong attachments to his previous life, and he thinks being a god is interesting, and it doesn’t hurt that gods can live a long time. Later on in the story, his goals will change when he gets more information.

I think there are some of Omnii's questions I haven’t answered yet, but I need to go to sleep now. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

I have multiple questions about this.

Main question, players are not believers. When you play a game, you don't worship the game. It's not a religion, and you don't hold any faith towards it. So if Gods are beings with the ability to garner power from their believers, I don't see how summoning gamers would help the God. In fact, if faith power has to be used up to bring gamers to this other world, the God should logically lose power instead. How does he gain power from the gamers?

Second question, kingdom of heaven? Kingdom of gods? You might wanna flesh those terms out. What are these places, and why is Robert unhappy in his kingdom of heaven? And if he's not unhappy, what's leading Robert to do stuff? Is he just doing casual things for funsies? Is it more serious? Is it just out of instinct?

Also, why do evil gods attack other gods? And why gods they seperate between loser gods and such? Why don't they just work together instead? They can work together like modern companies, orchestrating events to lead to the most possible followers for everyone, and create a pantheon. That sounds like the most logical path to take. But it feels like you're hinting at me that conflict between gods will be a main part of the story. I need a reason why.

Lastly, your novel premise actually sounds very similar to 'Game of the World Tree'. It was one of my favorite novels. Check it out.

Bye, and good dreams, lol.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

can also get divine power from people playing games that have a connection with him.

You should develop a different system than players = divine power.
Either make it so other gods get power from people connected to them. Like a god of harvest or forests to get power from a druid.
Or make it so players have to in game do worship tasks, like in order to level up or view stats they have to go to or set up an altar.

That way the protagonist isn't even more randomly overpowered. There needs to be examples of this divine power being gathered by others. Try and be careful to make your protagonist balanced in power, make their final growth comparable to what other gods can do at their peak.

That is, unless you have some message or plot reason for an overpowered already god protagonist...
I recommend instead of giving Robert as much strength, have more of it go into players. Instead of having a few op players that can probably take any enemy down like a raid boss. Try to write it so there are a lot of people.

You have a world with a single city and 45 million population. Instead of 1000 players with 2 max rank op ones. I suggest have the players rely on items not levels.

Don't have op players because they are good, have Robert reward them for improving the area near the city and expanding. Not with level as much, but gear.

This will help the players work together, instead of powerleveling give them items for tasks that help the world instead of killing for their own strength. (Players in stories like this need balanced like this to not become so overpowered. But it makes little sense why Robert would be with enough power to level every player up when they start farming or powerleveling)

In a system like this, it will make sense why Robert can give power to these players in the form of items, because the goals in which he rewards them will help him as a god. Making the city larger, safer, and eventually have new cities.

If you want the story to show improvements, don't just add power to things. Make the world better. Show the slums people safer, not the gods or players stronger.

Instead of the 1000 players and 2 high rank ones. I recommend quantity (more players=more divine power anyway) but don't have levels strengthen the players, make the benefit being Robert will give quests or rewards, along with items having level limits.
Then have 10,000 players, 9,000 of those all work together in various guilds and team up. Players likely would be the main inhabitants of these new cities or towns that they build, this way you have room in the world to keep adding more player quantity.

If you have questions about this specifically I can explain more, but this is all I'm writing for now.

 

[RainingFish]

You should develop a different system than players = divine power.
Either make it so other gods get power from people connected to them. Like a god of harvest or forests to get power from a druid.
Or make it so players have to in game do worship tasks, like in order to level up or view stats they have to go to or set up an altar.

In this story, mortals are the source of the god’s power, but faith isn’t the only way to get power from mortals. It's the most common way, but not the only one.

1. The most common source of divinity for such gods is their believers. The Godhead gathers the faith of the believer, and that faith is then refined by the god’s divine fire, becoming divinity.

2. Gods can get divinity from other gods and then refine it into their own divinity.

3. Gods can get divinity from sacrifices. The vital energy of living beings offered up in ritual sacrifices can be refined into divine power. Human sacrifices are the best for this, but it’s far more profitable to keep people alive as constant sources of divinity than it is to sacrifice them. Only evil gods like human sacrifices. As for what being an ‘evil’ god means, gods that harm mortals in their extraction of divinity are evil gods.

4. Gods can get divine power when mortals carry out activities within the scope of their authority. The god of war can get divinity from people going to war. The god of the harvest can get divinity from people farming. The god of games can get divinity from people playing games.

There were limits, though. The activity has to have some connection to the god. For example, countless people are playing games in other worlds, but the god of games doesn’t get any divinity from it because it has no connection with him at all.

So what could give playing games a connection to the god of games? Lots of things, really. For example, being played in the world where he is the god of games, being played because of something he did, being played to please him, being played by his believers, and being played using his divine instruments. The more it connects to the god, the more divinity they can get, but there is, of course, an upper limit.

When you have these players, are you using their perspective or a third person as Robert watches?

There are a lot of point-of-view characters. So far I’ve used the MC, the MC’s priest, and some players as point-of-view characters.

Is there more conflict than just the monsters? Does he interact with people or gods? What do people think of him...

Well, back before the war, the gods would often see each other in the heavens. After the war, the heavens were destroyed, so the gods were limited to their kingdoms of god. The 'kingdom of god' is like the god’s personal world. They don't tend to be big, and besides the god, usually only some angels will live there. It’s also where the god's afterlife is. I haven't quite figured out how the afterlife works in this story. Gods don’t like to visit other gods' kingdoms of heaven because it’s dangerous. Gods are the most powerful in their kingdom of heaven. If gods want to meet, they do so using avatars, but the MC doesn’t have an avatar yet, and even if he did, no gods would want to meet him. Most gods aren’t too friendly with each other because they compete with each other for believers, especially after the war when believers became scarce. As for the god of games believers, he has around 300, and they all live in a compound together.

Other than his believers, the other gods and some mortals know about him, but they don’t really care. The people who know about him just see him as a footnote in history, and the gods might wonder if he's still around but not really care either way. This indifference is likely to change as the story goes on, but I haven't quite decided on how.

People are going to notice all the players eventually, and not everyone is going to be happy about the rise of the gamer god, so conflict is inevitable, although I haven't worked out the details yet. There will also be some conflict on earth.

That way the protagonist isn't even more randomly overpowered. There needs to be examples of this divine power being gathered by others. Try and be careful to make your protagonist balanced in power, make their final growth comparable to what other gods can do at their peak.

That is, unless you have some message or plot reason for an overpowered already god protagonist...
I recommend instead of giving Robert as much strength, have more of it go into players. Instead of having a few op players that can probably take any enemy down like a raid boss. Try to write it so there are a lot of people.

You have a world with a single city and 45 million population. Instead of 1000 players with 2 max rank op ones. I suggest have the players rely on items not levels.

Don't have op players because they are good, have Robert reward them for improving the area near the city and expanding. Not with level as much, but gear.

This will help the players work together, instead of powerleveling give them items for tasks that help the world instead of killing for their own strength. (Players in stories like this need balanced like this to not become so overpowered. But it makes little sense why Robert would be with enough power to level every player up when they start farming or powerleveling)

In a system like this, it will make sense why Robert can give power to these players in the form of items, because the goals in which he rewards them will help him as a god. Making the city larger, safer, and eventually have new cities.

If you want the story to show improvements, don't just add power to things. Make the world better. Show the slums people safer, not the gods or players stronger.

Instead of the 1000 players and 2 high rank ones. I recommend quantity (more players=more divine power anyway) but don't have levels strengthen the players, make the benefit being Robert will give quests or rewards, along with items having level limits.
Then have 10,000 players, 9,000 of those all work together in various guilds and team up. Players likely would be the main inhabitants of these new cities or towns that they build, this way you have room in the world to keep adding more player quantity.

If you have questions about this specifically I can explain more, but this is all I'm writing for now.

The power system in this world has six realms. Seven if you count god level

Level Realm
1-20 Bronze
21-40 Sliver
41-60 Gold
61-80 Legendary
81-100 Epic
101-120 Demigod

I’ve written 20,000 words so far, and now he has 1 silver realm priest, 10 bronze warriors, and 20 players, some of whom haven't even reached bronze yet. I wouldn’t describe him as anywhere near OP yet. The three gods of the inner city have demigod-level archangels and epic followers. They’re far more OP than him. As for his own combat power, gods can’t go to the mortal world, so it doesn’t matter. Really, lots of people could wipe out all his forces, leaving him unable to affect things in the mortal world. He’ll become more OP by the end of the story, but that’s still a long way off.

As for the players leveling up, if all the divine power players generate was used to increase their level (normally MC takes 50%), it would take 20 years of playing 8 hours a day to reach level 100. While the people of the fantasy world would be very happy to become powerful so quickly, for players it’s very slow.

Anyway, there aren’t going to be a bunch of super strong players any time soon unless the MC has a large player base and uses it to invest in a few elite players, but the MC is more likely to invest in natives who are more reliable than the players, even if they can’t resurrect.

Unlike a lot of player stories, the players in this story don’t rely on killing monsters for leveling up. What matters is how long they play, not how much they kill. There is a hidden number associated with each player that shows how much experience they’ve earned by hours played. Then that experience will be given to them through various means, such as rewards for completing quests, killing monsters, farming, etc. The amount of experience they get for things is controlled by an algorithm that ensures they don’t get more experience than they’ve earned from hours played. Quests are often given by special NPCs, which are people hired from among the natives.

I agree that more players are definitely in the MC’s best interest. He’d like as many as he can get, but he can’t afford too many at once. The more players he has, the more he earns, which means the more players he can afford (i.e., exponential growth until he runs out of people able and willing to play). Eventually, he’ll have a lot of players, most of whom will go out to the waste, making players cities like you said. There will also be NPCs there working as quest givers and their families. Once the number of players reaches a large number, it will be approaching the time for the story to end.

As for helping the people of the slums, a lot of people in the slums won't want to interact with the players. Communities in the slums have a certain survival strategy, which is isolating themselves and avoiding contact with strangers and strange things. A lot of monsters aren't particularly smart and don’t actively hunt for people. If you don’t show up in front of them, you're safe. The most common survival strategy is staying within your walled community, avoid as much contact with the outside world as possible. If someone has to go out, they cover themselves head to toe and avoid talking to strangers as much as possible. Usually only when things are desperate will they consider seeking help from outsiders. I plan to have some players doing mercenary work so that they can come into contact with some of these desperate communities. The players will definitely help some people in the slum, but not everyone wants their help.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts and advice on my story. I’ll consider your various advice, like focusing on items and such.

 

[RainingFish]

P

I have multiple questions about this.

Main question, players are not believers. When you play a game, you don't worship the game. It's not a religion, and you don't hold any faith towards it. So if Gods are beings with the ability to garner power from their believers, I don't see how summoning gamers would help the God. In fact, if faith power has to be used up to bring gamers to this other world, the God should logically lose power instead. How does he gain power from the gamers?

Fantasy has infinite possibilities, so there is no need to be limited to a few popular tropes. In my story, mortals are the source of the god’s power, but faith isn’t the only way to get power from mortals. I talked about this in another comment, so to avoid repetition, I’ll leave it at that.

Second question, kingdom of heaven? Kingdom of gods? You might wanna flesh those terms out. What are these places, and why is Robert unhappy in his kingdom of heaven? And if he's not unhappy, what's leading Robert to do stuff? Is he just doing casual things for funsies? Is it more serious? Is it just out of instinct?

The heavens were a place where gods and other creatures used to live together before it was destroyed. Every god has their own kingdom of god, which is basically their own little world where they are in control.

Gods need divine power to live, so Robert needs to ensure he gets an adequate supply of divine power from the moral world. That's the main reason why he's doing stuff. He's also worried about the situation with the original god of games that he switched places with.

Also, why do evil gods attack other gods? And why gods they seperate between loser gods and such? Why don't they just work together instead? They can work together like modern companies, orchestrating events to lead to the most possible followers for everyone, and create a pantheon. That sounds like the most logical path to take. But it feels like you're hinting at me that conflict between gods will be a main part of the story. I need a reason why.

The divine power gods can squeeze from mortals is limited, which puts them in competitive relationships. If they were willing to share more, it would be possible to at least ensure no gods 'starved,' but the gods don't see any benefit to helping each other. It was better when the heavens still existed, and they all lived together, but now they've become very indifferent to each other.

Part of the reason for this is that the type of gods that would care the most is also the type that fought the hardest during the Great War and died. The gods that fought the least hard and retained the most strength are now the gods in charge of the inner city. As for the evil gods in this story, they are a bunch of opportunists who wander the void looking for the weak worlds to take advantage of.

None of the gods fight each other directly. Going into another god's kingdom of god isn't a good idea. Instead, the gods' forces in the mortal world determine the outcome of any disagreements.

Lastly, your novel premise actually sounds very similar to 'Game of the World Tree'. It was one of my favorite novels. Check it out.

Bye, and good dreams, lol.

Yeah, there are a lot of stories about players out there. I've read some of 'Game of the World Tree' as well. It's pretty good. I've been reading another one lately called 'The Monster is Coming' (怪物来了). Thanks for your interest in the story; bye.

 

[Empress_Omnii]

It might seem like he’s in a strong position with his ‘indestructible’ players, but actually, the main thing that keeps him safe is the ignorance of those who might wish to harm him.

Looking though what you've said I think this could be a problem. There don't seem to be many conflicts or opposition.

He is in a position where it seems closer to a power fantasy... which can work, but not nearly as well with how dangerous of a world you're trying to make.

You lack conflict in the story, none of these other gods will interact? The players are players... they won't interact with the world and treat it as real. Any dramatic or disastrous quest won't care about the city or slums, the players will think of it as a game.

I suppose you can use the natives that follow him for these, but it doesn't really feel as significant for the readers. Because they will follow the perspective of these gamers, who put the game before the people and don't pay attention and realize or internalize the struggles of the slums.

So where is this conflict you need in the story? The consequence affecting the city don't have much impact, Robert isn't affected and the players aren't going to die.
There is no other person Robert or interacting with for conflict there. The monsters and evil gods may kill players in the game... but Robert even know they can end players? And why?

He needs more interaction with other characters. As far as I can tell there isn't enough conflict for a story like this.

Also, it does not seem like you really need to work that hard on monster design if you have something like this... but it's good you have the story so thought out. It just really does not feel like there are enough consequences that you can have readers care about.