what are your opinion ? (Lost Solace Online)

[Mr.Grey-Cat]

So I writted this one of mine, "Lost Solace Online"
but honestly the comments are dead.
so I basicly don't have anyone's opinion. did they read much ? did they like something ? who know.
what do you think ?

 

[Snusmumriken]

My first opinion - you should have posted this in story feedback instead.

IMO your 1st chapter is extremely short. There is very little told on what is going on and why I should be reading the story further. Instead, you spent nearly 90% of an already short prologue to describe the world that readers haven't even started to engage with yet.

The final part could be unique or had a twist but since it was so short it is impossible to tell and therefore feel compelled to read more.