sad that character I wrote isn't real.you write a perfect character who perfectly understands you then you realize it's a story and your it's not real

[someonesomeguy]

I was writing a story. Now like all first time writers you think of plot think of events then think of side characters. Now the protagonist is basically me. So now I think heroine.
Then for story I start to think about conversations. Clearly since I am author I make her perfect.
Now I imagine conversations. have lot of conversations with her in head. Now since I think I have good EQ. I talk about random things which are interesting. The story would be episodic.

Now I imagine if it would be like most story where protagonist helps girl and girl has lot of problems but protagonist never talks about his
problems. Making girl seem really dumb.
So I start to imagine how it would be like.

Then I start talking about feelings.
Now I comfort myself in imagination.
Cause who understands yourself better than you and what you would be like to be told.
then obligatory no leaving each other and shit. it's kind of romantic turns out I have talent for it.

then I think about random fun shit.
and then I get really disappointed that she isn't real.
Problem of having too good imagination.
like it's pretty good romance.

but then I feel like I fell for girl in my imagination. I am thinking imagining conversation.

and then am like wait she isn't real I am talking to myself.

that's so disappointing.

why can't she be real.

the fact that in imagination she was perfect was even worse cause you can't meet someone like IRL and it wont be same.

would probably go away in a day or two.





does this happen to you guys too.


brain is basically going those conversations were so fun too bad you aren't ever gonna get her.

like not that you won't get love in general but that you won't get that girl in your imagination specifically

fapping only helped slightly uff the greed. i need it. well desire will fade away in few days anyway

 

[High-in-the-skys]

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS 100
;-; don't remind me thta im lonely :(

 

[someonesomeguy]

mine has nothing to do with being lonely but the fact that I would never get her cause she doesn't exist.

I am too good at simulating conversations in head. Brain is like "wait I was just talking to her how come I can't talk to her. "
like felt very real in imagination.

can't get her specifically. well sleep easily fixes my feelings.

 

[Minx]

It do be like that.

Sometimes, I was so happy writing my character having the life of his time when it suddenly struck me that my life sucks. I'm even envious of the life of my own creation, sigh.

 

[Deleted member 25179]

That is why I put myself in my characters' shoes, but don't actively imagine myself anywhere inside my stories.

 

[CrusadeAgainstFurries]

Wait for my schizo knowledge part 5, where I'll explain how to make a tulpa. Most people use it to invoke their waifu or pony into reality.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Of course she exists. She exists in your mind. She's always yours, always with you no matter where you go.

 

[AdLeto]

Wait for my schizo knowledge part 5, where I'll explain how to make a tulpa. Most people use it to invoke their waifu or pony into reality.

Didn't even post part 4 and already thinking about part 5

 

[someonesomeguy]

that's the price you must pay for writing extremely realistic characters and fleshing them out.


did not follow even a single cliche or archetype

describes strange dream where man realizes he is dead after talking to dead relatives asking if he is hallucinating or was there death a hallucination and they are still alive. one minute later realizes he is talking to them cause he is dead too. quick death sudden . just felt death approaching and then died.

things in double quote are said by girl
"no matter how I think about it wasn't that message about death kind of generic. "

said the side hoe on a cultivation planet walking in a desert towards the mc guffin with protagonist

well it's different and more impactful when it happens in first person.


you are so sweet I want to princess carry you.

"is it one of those weird tastes. "

nah just want to bring you close.
it's just such a ridiculous and amazing situation.

come on don't go away. it would be cute.
ok not side hoe you are one true love. it's seriously amazing how compatible we are.
*ran through the desert carrying her* in princess carry style
hugs him.

it would have made more sense if you had scraped your foot or something but I like being free with you so if I feel like I doing random shit I will just ask.

being this free is amazing. how many people would allow you to do this.

ran through the desert like that.

then they switched mid desert and she carried me princess style. naruto running towards the sunset

then she rode on my shoulders .

"by the way why aren't we flying over the desert"
it's slower than running.
"it's more dignified and respectable will inspire respect in others"
dignified is just another word for cool and I laughed at people who tried to be cool in high school.
Weird being cool is seen as ridiculous but people care about dignity and aren't laughed at.


"here I am not worrying about which asshole I am being married too or how much I don't fit in with society. but on my way to satisfying my curiosities having fun and living"




two people revelling in the absurdity of the fact that they are naruto running through a desert despite all odds or logic or laws of reality that it's actually happening and it's all so ridiculous.
from both's perspective it's ridiculous cause you don't actually get isekaied and when you are a poor girl in China you don't get men who care about your wishes and are not caring about respect or society just about themselves you and having fun. also increase self confidence and talk about interesting ideas which are completely different from what rest of world believes.




[a very meta aware story without any tropes where everything is tried to be kept as realistic as possible and tropes avoided.
but the protagonists still talk in tropes.

Now it's not a complete self insert lots of things are changed in protagonist to make it interesting.

nice tone of story right. not taking the world too seriously.]
{I think I may have talent how does it sound}

 

[JayDirex]

Man, I don't want to hang out with my female characters! I mean they all hot AF, but them chicks always fighting and shooting people. I don't need all that excitement, I just want to cuddle

 

[someonesomeguy]

man it's going to be a different story like nothing ever written when I finally write it.


it's not actually a self insert but I actually have a skill for writing characters like this. basic interests are same but except that it's too different.







here I am getting crushed by a truck I won't wake up ever again on a planet in a universe which is soon to die trying to stand up and I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
I would have asked universe for help or death for mercy but they are in a more miserable state than me for they were never alive in the first place and never will be.
at least I am alive thinking about it all but no matter how much the stars want they won't come alive or be able to think about it. what can I ask the universe it doesn't have a will anyway it's forced to follow it's rules. it exists and then it would stop to exist without ever having chosen anything. it's as dead as I am going to be.
well atleast I was alive for a moment poor universe.
come take me death it's not like you have a choice or a will as weak and without freedom as me.
and most of all I am monologing like a chuniybo while dying.
who even does that it's so it's so it's ss---
.
.
.



guy deserves to get isekaied after a monologue like this.

BTW that's not I how think obviously but story should have some style and cause emotions and not read just like a set of events .
This part isn't self insert only a very specific part was self insert . which I haven't posted here. a later scene caused me to feel bad

 

[Michuyu]

What's nice is when others read the story and now they understand a part of who the character is, therefore understanding part of you as weel ^^

 

[someonesomeguy]

Wait for my schizo knowledge part 5, where I'll explain how to make a tulpa. Most people use it to invoke their waifu or pony into reality.

no need . Creating imaginary friend will be very easy if i want to. I am good at writing from other's perspective .

It's only a matter of if.

damm new re zero episode is just rubbing salt on the wounds. inspires as much feeling as me myself writing does. even more. maybe mine wasn't imaginary friend maybe i was just happy with my wrting idk

 

[CheertheDead]

As a true Fudanshi, no i have absolutely no problem even though i am having both a girl and a boy in my imagination. I can always visit them there in my mind and i am doing all i can to share our stories to the rest of the world.

It's vital to a true corrupted fanboy to distinguish both worlds to truly appreciate them.

 

[someonesomeguy]

Reality doesn't bend .

It is comfortable for your desires but doesn't really help for them.

Just don't open internet

My soul .
God dammit i need to learn how to make imagination real.
I so want it.
My heart can't take it .
I am oh no
obsessed.

Why do i imagine such perfect personality and then talk with her. Like this is good for worries but god dammit .

what i did . i went in a thick warm blanket. i cuddled up. i remembred the words don't try.

i swore to never do anything i don't like again no matter what.

just this line of thought in blanket made me happy.
//fear isn't what can motivate me.

i studied simple harmonic motion. first i was studying things i already knew. after understanding derivative and how we can get accelration from dv/dx. diffirential equation and was trying to understand them . then i thought they were useless after thinking
some time and i can just use 3blue1brown then i remembred.
other part of adding SHM. i was just thinking about them and how forces add and time period.

seeing oh time period is assumed to be same so w is also same.
i just understood things. which i was stuck a little. creative ideas.
what does something mean i had written already before. so reading that even made me happy.

then i imagined slyphy from mukoso tensei. then ending song of the show started playing in my head.



i finnally remembred the reason i wanted to live.

even if i die my corpse will want to know. i just want to know.


it's better than comfort of any relationship. i am so happy and bubbly. even my inner voice asking me to do things sounds playful and happy.
even my respones in self talk are showing happiness and something like laughing. it/I feels so innocent.

i don't want any relationship that's only when you want to cry and need a shoulder or some shit or are feeling bored.

i need physics and a blanket.


this is my train of thought so it doesn't make that much sense.

i don't have anyone to say this to without it seeming weird but i really want to say it so i am posting it here.

ah happiness.

you know ability to be happy just by studying physics is so amazing. definitely will make life easy.
nicE