Reedited Chapters

[T.K._Paradox]

I recently reedited my chapters for my story 'Epic of a Dragonknight', so now the grammar shouldn't feel as off putting. I would really like it if I could get some feedback for my chapters now that my slight, but annoying grammatical issues have been fixed.

 

[Amok]

Add some crucial commas(1-3) and splice up a few sentences to aid coherence(1-3). I saw a missing I in 1, and there's a dodgy sentence somewhere in 4. Don't be afraid of using : instead of .

Example: " I can never be too careful though the last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again so that is why I am taking Beau."
to
I can never be too careful though, the last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again. So, that is why I am taking Beau/That is why I am taking Beau
or
I can never be too careful. The last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again, so that is why I am taking Beau.

Otherwise yer good ; )

 

[T.K._Paradox]

Add some crucial commas(1-3) and splice up a few sentences to aid coherence(1-3). I saw a missing I in 1, and there's a dodgy sentence somewhere in 4. Don't be afraid of using : instead of .

Example: " I can never be too careful though the last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again so that is why I am taking Beau."
to
I can never be too careful though, the last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again. So, that is why I am taking Beau/That is why I am taking Beau
or
I can never be too careful. The last thing I want is for another one of those things to show up again, so that is why I am taking Beau.

Otherwise yer good ; )

Thank you I hope you enjoy my story.