New Here - Looking for Feedback

[BridgerCampbellCannon]

Hello everyone, I’m new to this site and I was looking for feedback for my story if anyone would be so kind. If not, no worries. And please don’t mince words — I want good insight since I’m planning to send the final version to a professional editor. Thanks!

— Bridger https://www.scribblehub.com/read/331559-wild-meridian/chapter/331561/

 

[Cipiteca396]

I really don't have the time to do a proper read through. But based on what I did read in your synopsis and the first chapter, you seem to have a problem that I got scolded for back in English class. Basically, it's possible to be too descriptive.

The name of it is 'Purple Prose'. If you use an adjective and an adverb for every single noun and verb, your writing gets artificially dense. Readers will have trouble wading through the sea of descriptors, and even get impatient or tired of it.

I can't be certain that the entire work is like that, of course. I've seen stories that started out super descriptive to try and 'set the scene' and then slowly worked their way to a comprehensible density. I'll try to go back and read through it when I'm less busy, but I can't promise anything.

I did like what little I read though.