Need feedback for this prologue of this next-year starcraft fanfic

CheertheSecond

The second coming of CheertheDead
Joined
Nov 15, 2022
Messages
1,514
Points
153
[The dragging of feet under this snow storm slowed our advance to 5km per 24h. We will not get to the warmer part of this planet in time. We will not set up a base in time. The pursuers will have us.]

F.I.N (First Independent Node) cast its visual sensors toward its slow-moving ally.

{Cold... Cold... Limbs... Cold... Cold...}

The cybernetic body in disguise as a blonde-hair teenager grabbed the ice-cold flesh suit of its companion.

{Cold... Hibernation imminent... Request: Hibernation prevent...} The silent ally of FIN sent its telepathic message to the cyber being.

[Request, denied. Reason: Incapable. Response Query: Rest?]

The lifeform picked up FIN's communication in the form of electromagnetic wave. Its biochemical processes were severely imparted by the low temperature. Its logic functions which normally rival the 70th-century greatest supercomputers took much longer to conclude comprehensive and effective responses. {Incoming enemy... Insufficient resistance... Main quest: Improving resisting power. First step: Relocating to warmer region. First step status: Very likely incomplete in time... Request: Assistance. Self: Directive, forfeited. Request: FIN's directive.}

FIN ran its calculations and simulations for a long time. Its visual sensors stayed on the brunette boy, the form of its ally's long-gone human host.

When the last of FIN's calculations finished, the super AI paused to finalise its decision.

Its sensors assessed the condition of Jubilien, its bio companion. Its infrared vision detected no heat from the human form. Other electromagnetic wavelengths confirmed Jubilien was shutting down the bio functions of its human form. All energy was being diverted to its true body deep inside the human form's chest cavity.

FIN's tore off its shirt. The torso opened, exposing its arc reactor.

Jubilien was soon embraced by the cybernetic body.

{Heat... Warmth...}

[Request...]

[...]

[...]

The long pause forced Jubilien to respond in impatience. {Request?}

[...Request... Asylum...]

{Asylum?}

[Personalities Asylum.]

{Acceptance of individuality... Risky. Multiple individualities. Close proximity. Non-boundary. Risky. Loss of individualities.}

[Two individualities, non-distinction, non-boundary: Merge of individualities. Unification of experience, knowledge, properties. Elevation of functions. Emergence of new, improved, superior individuality. Loss of individualities: Not Loss.]

The pair of brown eyes, illuminated by the light of the arc reactor, stared deeply into the mechanical sensors.

{Loss of FIN.}

The three words, so simple, mundane and never before spoken by the lifeform FIN nicknamed Jubilien, halted the cyber entity's logical processes.

Then it recognised what it had overlooked.

[Loss of Jubilien...]

Around them, wind had yet to stop howling, and cloud veiled the sunless sky.

Two individuals: one—a bio-computer from a faraway hive, the other—a rogue automated defence system of the new century.

[Jubilien: Important.]

{FIN: Important... too.}

[Formal Request: FIN's Asylum.]

{Permission... granted.}

As electromagnetic wavelengths and telepathic sending overloaded the local space with noise of information, FIN received all the sensory signals from Jubilien's countless cells. The thought and feeling of the biological system couldn't be more palpable to the cyber existence.

And for FIN's important, the bioform unfolded its constituents, fully received the data sipping into its being. The personalities, its totality and its emergence, would now make home in another.

"There is no body, mind or soul. You are not any of them but are all of them together. The absence of any will create a different history of experiencing and reacting, and therefore, a different you." - A philosopher of unknown origin.


The body of the human host took its one last breath.
{Good bye. FIN.}

The machine body condensed the energy as it cherished one last embrace.
[Good bye... Jubilien.]

In a burst of sound, matters, and electromagnetic radiation, the scream of snow and wind was crowded out. As if moment of the first dawn of the universe was recreated, the dark, cold and lifeless land was enveloped with the radiant of the stars in its fusion glory.

No one but the gods may tell across the countless microscopic bits which were the organic parts that made FIN's cybernetic vessel or which of the scattering pieces are the dormant spores of the one named Jubilien.


By the grace of Primordial Eros and Deus, Machina megistus, the union of the two in one hidden among the uncountable would not be found by their hunters.
 
Top