May I ask for feedback?

[Alkareel]

It's been a while since I last asked. Anyone there with the energy to give feedback? Or a review? Feel free to even leave comments.
I would gladly appreciate it. Even if it makes me—

Spoiler

Link to my story in signature.

 

[Zirrboy]

Story elements and characters, as of chapter 8 aren't mind-blowing, but extremely well executed.
Not having read the original, I feel intrigued by the foreshadowing.

The sad part is that I can't tell you what keeps your story so low in popularity. Most who find it like it a lot, but few seem to.
Only thing i can suggest would be to do a mass release so you clog up the chapters feed for a while.
Even if that is dirty, I must admit

 

[Alkareel]

Story elements and characters, as of chapter 8 aren't mind-blowing, but extremely well executed.
Not having read the original, I feel intrigued by the foreshadowing.

The sad part is that I can't tell you what keeps your story so low in popularity. Most who find it like it a lot, but few seem to.
Only thing i can suggest would be to do a mass release so you clog up the chapters feed for a while.
Even if that is dirty, I must admit

I could do that with RR, but with SH, not really. Since only one chapter update shows on the latest feed per day. I'm thinking it's the hook. Since the beginning seems to be a bit slow-paced, I'm lacking good bait. Would you agree?
You made me

Spoiler

very much(in a positive sense). Thank you!

 

[Snusmumriken]

I think the reason that the first two chapters feel slow is that MC is....waiting. There is some worldbuilding and characterizations (which are nice and well by themselves) but overall it is still "oh it will come soon"

Because you establish "The Event" so early it becomes the main narrative. for that part. Readers start reading towards it. but it doesn't come in the first chapter, nor the second. Even though the pacing, itself, was more or less okay because you promised such a far off return (for the first chapter) the beginning felt sluggish.

Or should I say "The Event" established the beginning of your story, so everything before it became a prologue.

 

[Alkareel]

I think the reason that the first two chapters feel slow is that MC is....waiting. There is some worldbuilding and characterizations (which are nice and well by themselves) but overall it is still "oh it will come soon"

Because you establish "The Event" so early it becomes the main narrative. for that part. Readers start reading towards it. but it doesn't come in the first chapter, nor the second. Even though the pacing, itself, was more or less okay because you promised such a far off return (for the first chapter) the beginning felt sluggish.

Or should I say "The Event" established the beginning of your story, so everything before it became a prologue.

Spoiler

I see your point.
I'm gonna have to think long and hard to see what can be done. Thank you, that was very insightful!

 

[LoliGent]

I could do that with RR, but with SH, not really. Since only one chapter update shows on the latest feed per day.

Really? Back when I was doing two chapters a day, my story would pop up on the latest feed in both updates. In fact, one day I updated 8 chapters every hour and my story appeared on the latest feed throughout that time period. I literally had my story remain in the front page for those 8 hours. Though I heard if you post too constantly in a row, it will not show up or there's something in the algorithm to keep that from happening, so maybe that's what you mean.

Back on topic, I read the first chapter and, I'm going to confess, it didn't caught my attention. I love reading about young protagonists being proactive, so it caught my attention. However, that first chapter was nothing but exposition; Nothing was really happening. To me, exposition is only important later when I get attached to the characters and storyline. After I get enamored about them, then I want to know more about their background and the world itself. There's just nothing in that first chapter that kept me hooked, that urged me to go to the second chapter. It's a boy anticipating an event and talking to the town folk, alright fine, but that's all it is. I feel like I can skip this chapter entirely and not miss anything really important. I predict that if I continue this story, I probably will love the MC enough that I will eventually go back and reread that first chapter because I ended up liking him enough to know more, hence why that first chapter should be moved later on and begin the story with whatever main plot you have in store.

That's my opinion.

 

[Alkareel]

That's my opinion.

Maybe an hourly update once, when I stock up enough chapters.
As for pushing back the first chapter, I think I have roughly established an idea of what to do. Thank you very much for the advice!