Thank you very much for your response. I didn't expect anyone to reply.
For the first point, I just didn't know how to write it; like I wouldn't be able to emphasize his
love for games without understating it otherwise.
For the second point:
but was he being forced to meet the doctor or something?
No, at first, no one forced him; he was just concerned over himself initially, but as time passed by, he lost the thought of loving and caring towards oneself due to his gaming addiction, and felt like society was intervening through his doctor. Thus, he no longer wanted to go to the doctor.
why he must go to the forest instead of just go to the next city or town then rent a place
Renting a place or playing in a cafe would remind him of the real society he
lives in. The sights of buildings, walls, lights, and people makes him feel alienated, which is ironic, because due to his condition, going to a place where he can avoid feeling alienated is making himself
physically alienated.
required stable and good connection
There's fast and stable connectivity anywhere in the world he's living in.
Is this full dive or merely like oculus? Full dive system usually came with a safety measure when someone mentally exhausted or their vital seemingly not quite alright, like their body requires fluid or food
This world has their own VR counterpart that
has a safety measure, but is disabled so that Kevin would get a few more hours of game time. If you ask if he even eats or sleeps, yes, he does
occasionally eat and sleep.
if this is oculus then why he didn't prepare any supplies?
He couldn't be bothered. This also comes in with the lack of self-care thing.
I don't know in what way/s were you confused, but here's the gist of the next parts. The cultivator Wu Han:
- is the narrator of the story
- was Brutinized but self-detonated; his enemies died while he survived
- received the System which Kevin was the former host
- saw Kevin's memories through the System
- sighed on Kevin's unfortunate life
For that part, I wanted to pick on the common idea of transmigrating, specifically:
- how transmigration is always successfully performed
- how transmigration plots revolve around how powerful/willful/special (and sometimes unfortunate) the transmigrators are in their previous life
- how transmigrators inherit the memories of both their previous life and the body's previous owner (assuming they don't coexist) and use such memories to "change" their lives
For more picking, I wanted to contrast how Kevin had a "weak" soul, even though he had a strong spirit, to Wu Han, a cultivator who has a "strong" soul, and how cultivators can also tell stories.
Overall, I feel like if I add clarifying information, the readers (as I perceive it) will treat it as stating the obvious, or an infodump unnecessary for progressing the story. If I boil down the story to its most essential parts, it would feel short and flat. Now, I want to be subtle and let the reader realize what's going on and think for themselves, but I do not know how to do it the right way.
