Is going back in time and liking your lover's past self liking a different person?

[ThrillingHuman]

Moreover, here is a scenario. Say, you have a lover and that lover had a traumatic experience that has heavily haunted them their whole life. You go back to the past and try to save your lover from that experience.
Not only that, but you are the kind of self-centered person who will rather die than help somebody you don't care about even if you have the ability to do so. Which means, the only reason you are trying to help this past version of your lover is that because you love their future self.
But, since the traumatic experience has defined to a large extent your lover from the future, are you just pushing your feelings on a different person? If you love your lover, shouldn't you try to make them follow their original life trajectory as much as possible, otherwise you would effectively "kill" your lover?
Are you a cheating scumbag?

 

[MarukiLikesMikey]

No. You aren't cheating. If they are the same person except just going back in time, that wouldn't be cheating. They might not know you then, however. But if you do save them, they might think of you as a good stranger or friend that saved them. But no, you would not be a cheater. Maybe your lover would be super thankful for what you've done for them in the past.

 

[AuntieMaysLittleCousin]

Time travel being impossible aside, you should do what's best for them, or whatever you think it's best

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Which form of time travel?

 

[CupcakeNinja]

Moreover, here is a scenario. Say, you have a lover and that lover had a traumatic experience that has heavily haunted them their whole life. You go back to the past and try to save your lover from that experience.
Not only that, but you are the kind of self-centered person who will rather die than help somebody you don't care about even if you have the ability to do so. Which means, the only reason you are trying to help this past version of your lover is that because you love their future self.
But, since the traumatic experience has defined to a large extent your lover from the future, are you just pushing your feelings on a different person? If you love your lover, shouldn't you try to make them follow their original life trajectory as much as possible, otherwise you would effectively "kill" your lover?
Are you a cheating scumbag?

No.

 

[HelloHound]

I think your lover would prefer to not be traumatized either way

 

[ThrillingHuman]

Which form of time travel?

why does it matter?

I think your lover would prefer to not be traumatized either way

but, you, according to settings, are extremely selfish, so it all isn't as much about the lover as it is about you

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

Well, that's question is a underrated piece of wisdom for ya.

Most people don't realize that you and your partner will keep growing from time to time, and will become a different person in the future.

 

[LilRora]

That's a rabbithole I'm not keen on going down, but I'd say it heavily depends on the exact motivations of the person. If the reason you go back to the past is to "fix" your lover, then there's something wrong with you, not your lover. But being selfish does not necessiate that - you could go back to relieve your lover of traum, and that's nice and reasonable.

The question is if that's the correct way of doing things, and I would say it's not. If the issue is the trauma, you should focus on helping your lover overcome it instead of trying to get rid of it in the first place. I see a trope similar to that very often, and it's doing things you think are best for others without even asking them. I genuinely hate this type of behavior, because it's only delaying and hiding the problem like we hide radioactive waste, not solving it.

The situation here is the same - if you just go back in time and remove the trauma, even assuming no problems arise during the time, who's to say that a similar situation won't happen in the future? And what? Wou'd be going back in time again and again to fix new problems cropping up that your lover can't deal with cause they did not experience them?

To sum up, I'd say that going back in time to fix a past problem with your current lover means you don't really love them in the first place, though it does not necessarily make you a cheating scumbag. I don't want to sound too cheesy here, but I'll risk saying you should accept your lover as they are and help them grow, not try to fix their problems for them.

 

[DiscoDream]

Moreover, here is a scenario. Say, you have a lover and that lover had a traumatic experience that has heavily haunted them their whole life. You go back to the past and try to save your lover from that experience.
Not only that, but you are the kind of self-centered person who will rather die than help somebody you don't care about even if you have the ability to do so. Which means, the only reason you are trying to help this past version of your lover is that because you love their future self.
But, since the traumatic experience has defined to a large extent your lover from the future, are you just pushing your feelings on a different person? If you love your lover, shouldn't you try to make them follow their original life trajectory as much as possible, otherwise you would effectively "kill" your lover?
Are you a cheating scumbag?

No, because that concept of love is too constrained. People shift views and lifepaths constantly over their life. In my teens I was weak and effeminate. In my early twenties I was aggressive and spiteful, currently I'm trying to be reflective and more hesitant.
My friend who has loved me throughout all of this, and dedicated themself to me isn't loving someone new with every change. They love me, the me that exists throughout time. They don't love the me who couldn't stand up for themself, nor the me who couldn't stop fighting everything. They love the me who was there for them.
Even if someone were to go back in time and drastically change a person's life, they'd still love 'them', as they are just another possible stage in their lovers life.

 

[Zakuro]

Moreover, here is a scenario. Say, you have a lover and that lover had a traumatic experience that has heavily haunted them their whole life. You go back to the past and try to save your lover from that experience.
Not only that, but you are the kind of self-centered person who will rather die than help somebody you don't care about even if you have the ability to do so. Which means, the only reason you are trying to help this past version of your lover is that because you love their future self.
But, since the traumatic experience has defined to a large extent your lover from the future, are you just pushing your feelings on a different person? If you love your lover, shouldn't you try to make them follow their original life trajectory as much as possible, otherwise you would effectively "kill" your lover?
Are you a cheating scumbag?

No. Even if your name is Sakura Minamoto and your lover's name is Kotaro Inui who become insane after witnessing your death then resurrected you as a zombie. Your death is what heavily haunted your lover, so when you travelled back in time to prevent it, you saved the past version of you and now there are two of you, but the answer is still the same.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

No, but you might be a pedophile if you're attracted to a younger version of your lover.

 

[Erysion]

No, but I misread the title as going back in time and killing your lover's past self.

 

[Deleted member 58005]

I remember there being a novel/manga about a guy going back in time to his student days and dating his teacher.

Idk, just reminded me of it.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

why does it matter?

Seriously?
If it's by chronotons the effects are different from quantum tunneling, which is different from Planck Tetrahedrons, which is different from space-time curving, which is different from M-theory, which is different from exceeding the speed of light.

Do you travel BACK in time, or do you travel to the past and make a separate timeline?
Do you rewind time so that EVERYONE goes back in time and you are the only one who remembers?
Do you send information from the future back into the past, thus creating a new you in the past while present you is basically committing suicide?
Do infinities exist? Is space-time smooth or Fresnel? Are there meanwhiles and neverweres?
If I alter the past do changes affect all of space time instantly? Or is there a delay? What is the speed of time? Do changes only go forward, so if I am in the past I am immune to changes to my own personal timeline?

Seriously, Man. There are so many factors when it comes to time-travel that the result of your action and the MORALITY of your action depends upon it. For example, is time self-correcting? Are there events that MUST BE? Does it matter how we get to the must be? Do we have free will? If we do, how many times can we choose? Have we already chosen and now we are just catching up with our choices, or do we choose as we experience things?

Is there an omnipresent 'Now'? If I travel into the past and spend five days there, do five days pass in the present, or do I return when I left?

The fact you don't think any of this matters indicates to me you are less than serious about wanting an answer.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

 

[georgelee5786]

I wouldn't say you are cheating

 

[Cipiteca396]

If you take away the timey whimey stuff, that makes the question a little clearer. The question would become, "Is it possible to cheat on someone with themselves?" and the answer is... Yes. Cheating is a betrayal, so if someone was or felt betrayed, it's cheating.

For it not to be cheating, all four(the time traveler, their wife, and their younger selves) people would need to be aware and consent to the arrangement.

Though some people could be removed and make it not cheating. For instance, the wife dies before the time traveler goes back in time, meaning only the time traveler and the two younger selves need to consent. If the two younger selves aren't dating/married yet, then the younger version of the time traveler has no say in the matter.

Oddly, the situation I thought of when reading this... Let's call them Alice and Bob. Bob goes back in time, and young Alice gets pregnant. Old Bob then disappears, for some reason, and Young Bob steps in to help Young Alice raise the kid, thus creating a... Let's call it self-fulfilling prophecy. Vaguely Like this.

...In addition to my previous answer, I'll say you don't have to be a cheating bastard to be a bastard.

 

[J_Chemist]

After reading the entire question after saying "hah?" pretty loudly at the subject title, I think it's a rather complicated situation with a similarly complicated answer.

Yes. It is "liking a different person", but like that one obnoxious YouTuber says- it's not what you think.

You are in love with the hurt individual and your love for them has driven you, an individual who doesn't really care about much, to take action in order to help them. True love spans the past, present, and future. "I love you for you for you, no matter who you are or when you are". So that Love must weigh enough on your mind that you've gotten off your lazy ass and decided to do something about the trauma your Love has experienced. You go back to help your Past Love not because you don't love your Present Love, but because you want to make your Future Love as happy as possible.

If it is "true love", you love all versions of the person you hold dear. Whether they are traumatized or boring as a white wall. And if you've decided to go back in time and "fix" the trauma, you've likely already acknowledged the future will change but what won't change is your love for the person. So yes. If they change, you will like a different person. And they will change because there will be no trauma.

Are you a cheating bastard? That's semantics. No.

 

[melchi]

I agree time travel is a huge rabbit hole. Going back in time to fix a childhood friend is the whole premise of butterfly effect. We know how it turned out for that guy.