Writing How to write underworld?

[ThrillingHuman]

I want to write several episodes in my story with characters being deeply involved with the mob, but I got no clue on how to write it.
I don't want to write the kinda dirty profanity-ridden kinda underworld, I want something like from Godfather, only with cool martial artist assassins and mob bosses doing cool verbal stand-downs in private rooms of expensive restaurants in suits and stuff.
Just whenever I try to write it, it ends up looking kinda dumb and somehow comedic.
So, any advice on how to write the mafia? It doesn't need to be realistic, it should just pass the suspension of disbelief in a semi-magical a bit wuxia world with modern world elements

 

[OliviaMyriad]

Don't write the mob. Write high-class rich people, businessmen, who happens to have illegal assets to do their bidding. So write them as you would write an aristocrat, and then draw attention to their connection to the underworld.

 

[CupcakeNinja]

I want to write several episodes in my story with characters being deeply involved with the mob, but I got no clue on how to write it.
I don't want to write the kinda dirty profanity-ridden kinda underworld, I want something like from Godfather, only with cool martial artist assassins and mob bosses doing cool verbal stand-downs in private rooms of expensive restaurants in suits and stuff.
Just whenever I try to write it, it ends up looking kinda dumb and somehow comedic.
So, any advice on how to write the mafia? It doesn't need to be realistic, it should just pass the suspension of disbelief in a semi-magical a bit wuxia world with modern world elements

Rewatch the Godfather then. Or watch the Peaky Blinders.

BAI DA ORDAH OF DA PEAKY FOOKIN BLINDAHS

haha.

Anyway just write scenes with well dressed chaps sitting around a table eating in a classy mansion planning their next hit or the movements of their enemies. You can literally take example from all kinds of similar works

 

[HURGMCGURG]

First of all, remember that people, even when in the underworld, are people. Their personalities are not defined by their occupation. They are not ruthless killers seeking only profit. You can have incredibly affable people, or really normal seeming people who are an important part of the criminal underworld. At the same time, they need to show a certain amount of grit. In the world of professional crime, the only thing you have is a reputation, and being labelled as a coward closes a lot of doors for you.

Not all organizations are run the same way. They each have their businesses and cultures. But remember, the criminal empires that last the longest are the ones that are the best at staying friendly with others while keeping an iron grip on their power.

 

[NotaNuffian]

I want to write several episodes in my story with characters being deeply involved with the mob, but I got no clue on how to write it.
I don't want to write the kinda dirty profanity-ridden kinda underworld, I want something like from Godfather, only with cool martial artist assassins and mob bosses doing cool verbal stand-downs in private rooms of expensive restaurants in suits and stuff.
Just whenever I try to write it, it ends up looking kinda dumb and somehow comedic.
So, any advice on how to write the mafia? It doesn't need to be realistic, it should just pass the suspension of disbelief in a semi-magical a bit wuxia world with modern world elements

Basically, you can write a simple office meeting between the two, don't explicitly state that they are mafias, don't use cliche backgrounds like "dim room, shadowy figures", just say simple things like "both of the parties begin their negotiations, with Uncle Franky being his usual jolly old santa self while Lucius is frowning as usual". Just some simple conversations between the two, with simplified conversations like the normal meeting and maybe straight to the topic. Remember, the one who loses the cool loses the conversation, drop a hint at the end about martial arts/ magic like maybe aura burst, heating up the cup of water instantly, slicing off someone's ear without anyone noticing. Do the last part just once, because it is your ending scene.

 

[HURGMCGURG]

BTW, when I said reputation is everything, I mean it. Criminal bosses known for treating their members cruelly will not often get new members and will leak people like colander. If you show up for a meeting and then kill everyone, people won't want to meet with you. If your gang gains a reputation for being uncontrolled and violent, the police are more likely to go after them. If you are known for always paying your debts, people are more likely to do you favors. Good leaders stay professional, courteous, and merciless.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Don't start off with the underworld. What you want going for you mob story is juxtaposition. These guys do things dirty and away from the general public. You can start off from the perspective of said general public, then slowly inch towards the mobs. Make comparisons, and then start fleshing out the mob. I see way too many mob stories starting off straight from the underground and making their gang look like out of touch aliens communicating with the concept of human culture. In order to build a believable setting, you must start off with a conventional comparison, only then will the readers will be able to ease into the atmosphere.

BTW, when I said reputation is everything, I mean it. Criminal bosses known for treating their members cruelly will not often get new members and will leak people like colander. If you show up for a meeting and then kill everyone, people won't want to meet with you. If your gang gains a reputation for being uncontrolled and violent, the police are more likely to go after them. If you are known for always paying your debts, people are more likely to do you favors. Good leaders stay professional, courteous, and merciless.

^

Whatever the fuck you do, don't make your characters out to be cartoon caricatures. Check out the Deus Ex series. Or Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. Those are games with believable gangs with motivations and beliefs. Don't have them be evil for the sake of being evil.

 

[NiQuinn]

Good example is probably John Wick. That mob world definitely has its very graphic-novel-like charm to it. Honestly, any type of mob can be classy and still have loads of profanity involved. They're running the underbelly of whatever city they're living in. Who's gonna care how they speak? Frankly, I'd be unsettled to come across a well-dressed genteel looking lady who suddenly spouts out, "Say that again and I'll f*** rip out your tongue." It all depends on how you end up writing it. Don't write it to make it look cool.

One way to write it is have them talk about mundane things (maybe in a restaurant) and yet waiters and staff are obviously terrified despite the normal topics in the conversation. I can't really think of any other tips to give on how to write it. But, since you mentioned the Godfather, why not take hints from that? Watch scenes from the movies or what the whole thing to help you get inspired.

 

[Ai-chan]

Okay, you got this dude, yeah? Let's call him Marcus.

1) Marcus is a good lad, he helped old ladies cross the street
2) He frequents Chinese restaurants asking them how their business is doing
3) He plays baseball with the local kids from time to time
4) He whacks boys who pickpocket the locals
5) He gives youths a job at his businesses
6) He gives loans to people who asks for it, not questions asked
7) He gives college kids some commodities so that they can start their businesses early

Now here's the other side of the story

1) Marcus is not helping the old lady crossing the street. He's just walking with the old lady so that she wouldn't dare run away from giving him her daughter/granddaughter that he would whore later.
2) He's actually asking when the Chinese restaurant will pay their 'protection fee' and hinting that he will smash the restaurant if they won't pay
3) He's not playing baseball, he's showing the kids what would happen if they cross him
4) He didn't whack the boys for doing the crime of pickpocketing, the whacked them for pickpocketing the guys under his protection on his turf
5) He gives the boys a job whacking people and the girls a job as prostitutes
6) He gives loans, no questions asked, and beats up people who wouldn't or couldn't pay his high interest, then takes their wives or daughters to 'help' pay the interest
7) He's not lying, it is often said that if you want to sell drugs, you should start early because you can sell them to your gullible friends and get them dependent on your supply

 

[AliceShiki]

Okay, you got this dude, yeah? Let's call him Marcus.

1) Marcus is a good lad, he helped old ladies cross the street
2) He frequents Chinese restaurants asking them how their business is doing
3) He plays baseball with the local kids from time to time
4) He whacks boys who pickpocket the locals
5) He gives youths a job at his businesses
6) He gives loans to people who asks for it, not questions asked
7) He gives college kids some commodities so that they can start their businesses early

Now here's the other side of the story

1) Marcus is not helping the old lady crossing the street. He's just walking with the old lady so that she wouldn't dare run away from giving him her daughter/granddaughter that he would whore later.
2) He's actually asking when the Chinese restaurant will pay their 'protection fee' and hinting that he will smash the restaurant if they won't pay
3) He's not playing baseball, he's showing the kids what would happen if they cross him
4) He didn't whack the boys for doing the crime of pickpocketing, the whacked them for pickpocketing the guys under his protection on his turf
5) He gives the boys a job whacking people and the girls a job as prostitutes
6) He gives loans, no questions asked, and beats up people who wouldn't or couldn't pay his high interest, then takes their wives or daughters to 'help' pay the interest
7) He's not lying, it is often said that if you want to sell drugs, you should start early because you can sell them to your gullible friends and get them dependent on your supply

That seems like a very good way of going about it, a nice facade with lots of messed up stuff behind it~

 

[GDLiZy]

I like the idea that the boss didn't need to appear or even know about the event, but with just his name alone gave chill and caused silence. It's also a good way to demonstrate the influence of the gang/family of the said mafia. Just look at John Wick's introduction or Peaky Blinder.

Don't make them unnecessarily cruel, make them ruthless and refined, but not insane.