Draft Idea 7: Concept for the Teammates

[Arch9CivilReactor]

I’ve decided to go with a mix of introducing a super-powered ‘Delinquent Syndicate’ and the Disciplinary Committee trying to bust them. It makes for an easy introduction on who can be relied on as allies and which students need a beating. The latter turning into a climactic battle.

This was for the previous Draft Idea 6 poll.

For those without context and are only seeing this post, this ‘Draft Idea’ series of blogs are about a card magic system being implemented in an ‘Battle Academy Romcom Fun’ Isekai. I am just introducing draft concepts that are susceptible to change depending on feedback. I generally don’t care about anything other than if there is a massive hole or flaw in the idea itself.

Like an inconsistency I missed in its creation.

Anyway, I’ve come up with two ideas for potential teammates in this military academy that assigns students into teams. The rest of the squadron is pending, and I’m currently thinking about maybe gender-swapping the latter character to make a stronger ‘romcom’ element.

The first potential comrade for MC is an outlier.

Her name is Vanessa Vagabond.
— She is the granddaughter of Celest Vagabond (who is the ‘Evil Principal’ and ‘Final Boss’).
— MC never learned much about her since she quietly dies for unknown reasons, but she the strange thing is that she’s TOO SKILLED to have died meaninglessly. Her qualities are insane.
— Unlike regular card users, no one knows where she has kept her ‘Life Card’. This makes it so she cannot access her Magic Talent or use the benefits of the Card System. She mostly uses simple Skill Cards and MagiTech weapons.
— First mission with her shows that she is practically a superhuman. Not simply having a strong physical body. It’s reflexes/skill/acrobatics that make her fly around like she isn’t human.

Out of the many character concepts I had laying around, this one was by far my most enjoyable to imagine. She is a perfect soldier who is demoted to go back to the academy. Her strongest weapons are confiscated, but every appearance with her fighting in story turns the ‘tactical’ nature of fights into a spectacle to behold.

She is capable of feats that make you say “That wasn’t her using magic?” and is supposed to be the team’s main fighter. Her flaws being a bad team player, arrogant, and follows her own logic in battle. A loose canon that only needs ‘capable allies to support’. Not teammates to fight with.

I’m leaving what happened with her Life Card aside since that’s part of the story. Her attitude can make it possible she would attack delinquent students first without warning, and has no respect for ‘pretend’ forces like the Disciplinary Committee. A good plot device and fun character overall. I myself see no flaws.

Though I’m unsure if that’s true from an outsider perspective. After all, her backstory makes her sound like a main character, and I guess having someone else do the active investigation would make the MC look passive in comparison.

Moving on…

The next one is going to be Fritz Lazrik.

Unlike the previous character, this male comrade is supposed to be a ‘normal student’. He is a surviving child of a fallen clan like Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto and has abilities before entering the academy. Is trained in his family’s form of ‘Seal Crafting’ with nature is meek on initial meeting.

— Last successor of the Lazrik Clan of exorcists and possesses a ‘Breathing’ technique that is classified as low-mid in official grading. It has the effect of making circulation of Mana inside his body impossible, but does unlock a new power.
— MC does not remember him since he is a side character with no great potential. Despite that, it isn’t denied by anyone that the versatile nature of Fritz and his skill set allows for more strategies.
— Can use Talisman Seals to change terrain and environment. A low-level caster type student that specialises in crowd controlling martial arts. Has a mysterious footwork that confuses enemies based on the number that enter his range.
— Is way worse than Vanessa since he lacks close combat skills in one-on-one confrontations yet doesn’t have the mentality to stay calm. An unstable element that can go wild unpredictably.

Since I wanted to make a failure team for the MC’s squad, this character is supposed to be the highlight character for that. A strong contender for a teammate that’s even better than Vanessa Vagabond due to his ‘useful, but unstable’ existence in the team. Like a volatile element.

These two characters shone brighter than others among my character concepts. I feel like I should definitely add them… but whether they would work as the MC’s teammates is up for debate. I also think the ‘Battle Academy Romcom Fun’ trope will make Fritz being a girl more suitable.

Why so? Because illustrations of a girl classmate has more mainstream appeal to the male readers I’m aiming for. Him/Her being an exorcist with character creates amazing ship potential even if not shown in a romantic relationship with MC.

Honestly, dude friends are cool and all but I’d need three female teammates for the MC out of the 4 comrades for this to have that vibe where MC has rizz. Him not being in a serious relationship with anyone is where the situational comedy of school romcom’s would fit well. It’s also funny when the guy knows but would rather not date beauties due to their personality issues.

A ‘failure team’ can easily gather those sorts.

I’m still working on a least two to three more character concepts for potential comrades. I’d need to create someone who can work as the one that uses a computer to relay data. Though what ‘eccentricity’ to add makes this difficult.

I need a guy/girl in the chair that does not usually participate in battle. Someone who is constantly relaying information to those onscreen and guiding their actions. Making it seem more like one of those thriller spy action movie scenes.

Will have to go back to the drawing board.

Anyway, what do you guys think of ‘Vanessa Vagabond’ and ‘Fritz Lazrik’? Any ideas for a failing character of a superpower school?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Not completely clear what you are doing with Fritz. Vanessa seems interesting and fairly-well thought out (though really the execution will ultimately be far more important than the concept).

 

[Arch9CivilReactor]

Not completely clear what you are doing with Fritz. Vanessa seems interesting and fairly-well thought out (though really the execution will ultimately be far more important than the concept).

He was supposed to be foil for Vanessa since they had met before. Their relationship being very one-sided since she destroyed the inflated ego he had as a new entrant. A way to make there be more than one team dynamic.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

He was supposed to be foil for Vanessa since they had met before. Their relationship being very one-sided since she destroyed the inflated ego he had as a new entrant. A way to make there be more than one team dynamic.

I mean his bio and ability block is not as clearly written as hers

 

[Arch9CivilReactor]

I mean his bio and ability block is not as clearly written as hers

Thought it’d be too wordy since he comes from an entire different breed of ‘magic users’ who don’t use Mana. They instead use ‘Redmist Qi’ coursing through their body thanks to a special breathing technique. Vanessa, on the other hand, is using her body and simple but modern spells.

Fritz has to physically touch an element with his talismans to control it. Similar to how Essences work but he can turn them into buffs or throw talismans at people. He can’t make a Fire Talisman fly around on its own, but he can detonate it. He also needs to have a lighter of sorts on hand to even use a Fire Talisman.

His physical fighting skills are gun based. He loads his arm (concentrates and hardens it for a second. It cannot be skipped), then ‘shoots’ with a temporary magic reinforced punch. Sometimes he mixes his talismans with this.

Vanessa is much more eye-catching compared to this since she changes the atmosphere of the fight just by existing. Causing situations that aren’t possible without her unbelievable feats.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Thought it’d be too wordy since he comes from an entire different breed of ‘magic users’ who don’t use Mana. They instead use ‘Redmist Qi’ coursing through their body thanks to a special breathing technique. Vanessa, on the other hand, is using her body and simple but modern spells.

Fritz has to physically touch an element with his talismans to control it. Similar to how Essences work but he can turn them into buffs or throw talismans at people. He can’t make a Fire Talisman fly around on its own, but he can detonate it. He also needs to have a lighter of sorts on hand to even use a Fire Talisman.

His physical fighting skills are gun based. He loads his arm (concentrates and hardens it for a second. It cannot be skipped), then ‘shoots’ with a temporary magic reinforced punch. Sometimes he mixes his talismans with this.

Vanessa is much more eye-catching compared to this since she changes the atmosphere of the fight just by existing. Causing situations that aren’t possible without her unbelievable feats.

Ah much clearer. Used to have a Champions PC kind of like Fritz - he could take an aspect of any small, non-living object he could hold in one hand and turn it into an attack (i.e. if he picked up a eggshell, he could bind someone else in eggshells, hurl a blast of calcium, or a rain of egg shell shards; if he picked up a match he could bind someone in the paper, use the sulfur for fire, or just use a bolt of pure sulfur as an attack... generally carried a bag of trash with him at all times).