Can you please tell me what you think of the first chapter in my new novel?

[Rockingashe]

Hey everyone, I decided to start writing a different novel, im not stopping my main novel, but I figured I'd try something different. Can you please tell ehat you think? Any criticism is good, all feedback is welcome! Thank you so much in advance! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/776522/tales-of-the-endless-darkness/

 

[Deleted member 113259]

MC not a vampire. Already an improvement.

 

[Rockingashe]

MC not a vampire. Already an improvement.

Envy is gonna end of getting you ????

 

[ArrogantYoungMaster]

First and foremost, this daoist does not like most system novels. This daoist also almost never likes mmorpg novels.

This one could only read to the half of the first chapter.

 

[Rockingashe]

First and foremost, this daoist does not like most system novels. This daoist also almost never likes mmorpg novels.

This one could only read to the half of the first chapter.

Thats understandable, thank you!