Can you help me?

[The_CaT]

Hello guy, I'm new and just publish a story.
Can anyone please give me a feedback, please go all out on me if you like. I don't mind if it positive or negative comment, I'm all ear and eager to have others opinion.
Of course, you don't have to help me, but I'd love some to hear your thought...

Wait, how do you attach link? Like this?

Shadow of the Forsaken Chaos

The Celestial Tapestry is in shambles. Pantheons of gods from all existing religions are forced to flee their universes and now struggle for control after the destruction of their realms by a powerful being. With every god and demon converging in a single universe, chaos is inevitable. Davis...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Xcalibur_Xc]

First> Add a cover picture and add more tags.
Second> You get readers after ch 20 or so, some wait till the author puts up a good amount of chs, so, you won't get much feedback at the start.
Third> It feels like a cheap trick to post this in the forum just for some views. Too many new authors are doing this lately. If your book is good, readers will obviously read it.
Finally> AI.

 

[AncestorDuck]

Not gonna lie, your writing kinda sounds like AI

 

[Nolff]

Not gonna lie, your writing kinda sounds like AI

Not to mention the title.

What chaos is not forsaken by the law?

 

[John_Owl]

Hello guy, I'm new and just publish a story.
Can anyone please give me a feedback, please go all out on me if you like. I don't mind if it positive or negative comment, I'm all ear and eager to have others opinion.
Of course, you don't have to help me, but I'd love some to hear your thought...

Wait, how do you attach link? Like this?

Shadow of the Forsaken Chaos

The Celestial Tapestry is in shambles. Pantheons of gods from all existing religions are forced to flee their universes and now struggle for control after the destruction of their realms by a powerful being. With every god and demon converging in a single universe, chaos is inevitable. Davis...

www.scribblehub.com

First, this likely should've been posted in "story feedback". You'll notice most posts there offer swaps. You read mine, I read yours, bartering.
Second, as was said, Cover, more tags, properly select the genre. and generally, for your first story, you want a lot of chapters to start with. So get to like 15-20 in 2 weeks, then you can slow down. readers start to come when either you're a known author (My current story, I'm doing 2 a week, but it's also my third main project, fourth non-one-shot. I've got readers that know me and know my writing) or when you have a lot of chapters, so if they get hooked, they can binge.

Third> It feels like a cheap trick to post this in the forum just for some views. Too many new authors are doing this lately. If your book is good, readers will obviously read it.

plenty of people post in the forums for reads and reviews. I'd say the cheap part is posting in author general, not in story feedback, since story feedback doesn't take up one of the two spots on the frontend page.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Made it 2/3 of the way through the prologue - a LOT of little tiny issues added up and made it just not worth continuing, even if the action was intriguing.
It feels like this was written quickly in another language then tossed into a second tier AI translation tool to produce an English-language text.

 

[Tsuru]

First> Add a cover picture and add more tags.
Second> You get readers after ch 20 or so, some wait till the author puts up a good amount of chs, so, you won't get much feedback at the start.
Third> It feels like a cheap trick to post this in the forum just for some views. Too many new authors are doing this lately. If your book is good, readers will obviously read it.
Finally> AI.

 

[PancakesWitch]

no

 

[Nolff]

no

Very direct, no sugarcoating.

Thank you for representing my inner critics.

 

[Alski]

Looks like english is your second language, it needs work

 

[The_CaT]

First> Add a cover picture and add more tags.
Second> You get readers after ch 20 or so, some wait till the author puts up a good amount of chs, so, you won't get much feedback at the start.
Third> It feels like a cheap trick to post this in the forum just for some views. Too many new authors are doing this lately. If your book is good, readers will obviously read it.
Finally> AI.

I'll try that, thanks you

no

Ok

Made it 2/3 of the way through the prologue - a LOT of little tiny issues added up and made it just not worth continuing, even if the action was intriguing.
It feels like this was written quickly in another language then tossed into a second tier AI translation tool to produce an English-language text.

I see, so the grammar is one of biggest problem, thanks you for telling me. I'll look into it more is there any more issue you found while reading it?

Looks like english is your second language, it needs work

Unfortunately Yes.

Very direct, no sugarcoating.

Thank you for representing my inner critics.

View attachment 32394

Yeah, hahaha.

First, this likely should've been posted in "story feedback". You'll notice most posts there offer swaps. You read mine, I read yours, bartering.
Second, as was said, Cover, more tags, properly select the genre. and generally, for your first story, you want a lot of chapters to start with. So get to like 15-20 in 2 weeks, then you can slow down. readers start to come when either you're a known author (My current story, I'm doing 2 a week, but it's also my third main project, fourth non-one-shot. I've got readers that know me and know my writing) or when you have a lot of chapters, so if they get hooked, they can binge.

plenty of people post in the forums for reads and reviews. I'd say the cheap part is posting in author general, not in story feedback, since story feedback doesn't take up one of the two spots on the frontend page.

Oh, there's a story feedback forum? My apology, I just saw the general Arthur and post it here, my bad! And Thanks you for commenting, now that I think about it, it's pretty cheap of me to do so...?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I see, so the grammar is one of biggest problem, thanks you for telling me. I'll look into it more is there any more issue you found while reading it?

I pointed out the first dozen or so on the actual page.

 

[HungrySheep]

Not gonna lie, your writing kinda sounds like AI

It can't be fully AI written. I read the majority of the first chapter and it doesn't have the weird cadence that AI written paragraphs do. Also, there's grammatical issues abound which AI rarely does.

 

[AncestorDuck]

It can't be fully AI written. I read the majority of the first chapter and it doesn't have the weird cadence that AI written paragraphs do. Also, there's grammatical issues abound which AI rarely does.

I just said its sound like, which it does. I never said it was written by AI.