Beast Heroes: Becky's Begining

[MC-Stories]

Beast Heroes- Becky’s Begining

Prequel to the Beast Heroes series, we follow the Tale of Becky, Bianca's grandmother as she too makes hey way in the world, but it will not be easy as things are much rougher back in her day, watch as she deals with monsters, assholes, love, and pride! read all...

www.scribblehub.com

I would love your Feedback on the story so far, any criticism is welcome as long as it's fair
I want to gather as much feedback as possible before working on a new installment of the Beast Heroes Series or if I should start an entirely new story.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

*Beginning

 

[FRWriter]

Uff... yeah, you should really fix the title. That's a painful mistake. Like anyone who spots it, you will probably avoid your story.

But hey, at least it's probably not a clanker. You have to find wins where you can in 2026.

Also, your other work is titled: Beast Heroes: Bianca’s Genisis

The word is GENESIS.

Like that guy.

*Edit

Gave it a quick read. Chapters are like 300-400 words long and are in this weird format, causing me to scroll sideways to read some sentences. Also, there are at least 3 to 5 mistakes in every sentence.

This is borderline unreadable and not enjoyable to me. You need to focus on editing. Honestly, I'd suggest reworking the entire story. Use Grammarly or any other tool to get rid of the hundreds of mistakes in your story, then use proper formatting, and then reupload it.
Honestly, did you not proofread your chapters? You are writing "i's" small.

As far as I can tell, the content itself is interesting, but the writing is so simple and yet full of mistakes that it essentially becomes irrelevant.

As is, I can't enjoy this work.

 

[Joyager2]

You don’t have much aside from dialogue here. It reads more like a script than a novel. I’d recommend finding an author you really enjoy and trying to emulate the structure of a scene they’ve written using your own characters and story, just an an exercise to see how you might improve what you’ve got.