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lol, well nothing can be done then. Should you find an extra minute later the offer will stand.

Hello, I’d really appreciate it if you could take a few moments to check out my story. The first few chapters are pretty short, so if you have around ten minutes, I’d love to hear your thoughts on however far you get. Even knowing where you lose interest is helpful. Any feedback is welcome, but...

Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my chapters, I’m really glad they pulled you in. I was honestly laughing at your live reactions; they were a joy to read and super helpful for seeing which moments landed the way I hoped. As for your question, I’d love to answer it, but the...

If you're still bored I'd appreciate any thoughts on the first few chapters of mine. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2207000/in-the-seals-shadow/

I think it depends a lot on what kind of story you're writing. The Hitchcock example is good, but to me the flaw is that there is no build up to the suitcase exploding in the first example. It's a twist out of nowhere with nothing that makes it feel earned. If the reader doesn't know there is a...

Personally I like yandere characters when done well, they scratch that 'I can fix her' itch. I also really like the idea of good intentions becoming harmful. I always find them a bit tragic, something happens to them and they never learn how to love in a healthy way, so their way of loving...

I read through the draft. It's an interesting concept, sharing a body with some being who wishes you harm. You have what I'd consider an interesting mix of show versus tell. Some things you let the reader infer such as the relationship between Steven and Jared. Other things you show, then tell...

The person in the carriage is Liriel, and yes it is a memory. I explain it as the chapter continues, but I can see why it's jarring here, since the POV character is seeing someone else's memories. Thank you for the detailed reply, I really appreciate it! I was trying to make the opening scene...

I only read the first chapter, but I'll still try to answer your questions. 1. Pacing - i agree with what others have said, it feels a bit fast. The dinner scene especially felt fast to me. 2. Character- my favorite topic of any book/story. There is some character development here, Rose is...

That's a bit disappointing, I use em dashes to try to sharpen my prose and avoid overusing commas. But if I'm losing people at the first em dashes it's probably worth removing them. For the two chapters comment, did you mean d Spending two chapters on world building and Liriel's perspective is...

Hello, I’m looking for some outside perspective on my Chapter 1 opening. My story is a slow‑burn, character‑driven fantasy, and most of the book focuses on relationships, emotional tension, and political undercurrents rather than action. However, my opening scene is a war/magic moment centered...

In futurama, when the giant women are explaining thier version of basketball, and the guys are laughing. I don't know why, but Zapp's "oh god you're killing me" followed by several club strikes and his much more literal "oh god you're killing me" just always hit me right in the funny bone. I...