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I would like to have some criticism on how I could improve and how you think the story is going so far, I am writing this more as a learning experience overall so yeah, also some advice on what you think I'm lacking would be nice. And maybe comments on some of my chapters? (for legal reasons...

I posted a chapter probably 20 minutes ago as of now but it's still now showing up in latest updates, I checked on the novel area around that time frame in latest updates but it still wasn't there. Could this be a problem on my end but it's showing up in other places? I just want to know if this...