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So I've written some stuff which I thought looked good on paper. But then again, I feel it might just be my bias as a writer towards my work. So if anyone could go through this it would be really great. There will be more such scenes coming in the next 2 chapters so I could use the feedback to...

So is this a thing or did I do something wrong? It's been an hour since I uploaded the first chapter of a new series...Would love to hear that it just takes time