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I believe in THE SLIM SHADY

I believe in all conspiracies. In some universe, they all happened. Well, depends on how many universes there are.

I believe there's only 1 universe, and that it's in my mind and therefore has a limited capacity. I'm gonna have to remove one of you from existence to make space. Sorry

"Garfield hates Mondays only because Jon has to go to work. He loves Jon and hates that he has to leave for work and is too prideful to admit he loves Jon."

That's not even a conspiracy theory. That's just reality.