~.~)
I got an injection at the hospital today and got dizzy
I got an injection at the hospital today and got dizzy
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Husband just went out with the little primate to buy a rodent. I have told him that I will take absolutely no responsibility for the new animal, because I'm already overwhelmed with responsibility for the one we already have. Husband has agreed to these conditions.
Pillowcase zipper: "Shut my mouth! Shut my mouth! Why is my mouth not closing?"
The child pulled a small piece of plastic out of the screen door this morning. I closed the screen door as an experiment, and now it will not open. Waiting for Husband to come home to investigate. Also regretting telling him to buy the retractable screen instead of the more expensive all-metal screen.
Pro tip: Do not keep chocolate chips in the same cabinet as glass jars
Nosey child who rarely leaves me alone in the bathroom, and when he does, he usually breaks something: If you keep doing that, you will lose all your blood.
Me: My body is making more blood all the time, and the amount of blood I lose during menstruation is small.
The kid bought a blank key with his allowance, and now he is begging for a key cutter because we let him watch some videos about how to cut keys. We keep telling him that we can take the key to someone with a key cutter, but he wants to do it himself. Also, he's not going anywhere without his key now.
Huggles
The last bite has been eaten.
The sandwich was put into the refrigerator. He ate almost all of it and decided to put the last bite back into the refrigerator.
The child put meat between two slices of bread, took a few bites, and told me it tasted yucky. I said it probably wasn't wet enough and made some suggestions. Now it has apricot jam, mayonnaise, and parmesan cheese. The kid has taken many more bites. Now he's rolling on the floor saying, "It tastes so delicious."
I put PINs on the adult Netflix accounts where I haven't blocked stuff up the wazoo because the kid figured out that's where all the new stuff that he's never seen before is.
Child, playing independently: I killed them all! I winned!
Me: What did you winned? Do you get to eat them now?
Child: *ignores me*
It is calling me a trampoline and doing "acrobatics" on me while I make sure it doesn't escape before I brush its teeth.
Child: Look! This ? is dancing! *Chops* I did that to make him not dance.
Me: Please use your knife. That knife is a too big for your hands.
Me, holding child's ankle: What are we brushing first, your hair or your teeth?
Child, reaching for hula hoop: Weapon, weapon!
Me: You can have your weapon after we're done brushing your teeth and hair.
Step 1: Sit on the side of your bed while trying to put your clothes on
The toddler will pull you down.
Step 2: Keep sitting up while trying to get dressed
When you are dressed, you have done enough sit-ups.
Step 1: Sleep
Step 2: Stretch before getting out of bed, legs hanging off side of bed
Your kid now has a slide.
Did you know that in 1385, pee-pee just came straight out of their butts?Hello there! I hope you are doing well.
I am really sorry to message you but I join this site yesterday and I don't know how this site work so and when I scrolled I show your profile that grabbed my attention that's why I messaged you about that and hope you didn't mind about it.
If you don't mind can you guide me something and this message comes to your DM, right? if you use discord please do let me know -
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