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Scribble Hub Forum
tiaf
LazyPanda
www.scribblehub.com
Sorry about that, staying up all night and forgot about it. 
Reborn as a Symbiote (Hiatus until further notice)
Hiatus: I apologize for the late update on progress. I have took a larger bite than I ought to from this novel, trying to incorporate many types of systems into one novel is a lot harder than I thought. I will begin anew from small stories that will be later...
tiaf
Hmm, you mix up present tense and past tense a lot. There are also other grammar issues (capitalization of words that don’t need it, missing words or spelling mistakes)
Some sentences also aren’t complete or are in the wrong order, making it hard to understand.
Some sentences also aren’t complete or are in the wrong order, making it hard to understand.
LazyPanda
Yea, still got a lot to learn, but hopefully will be trying to improve it in the future chapters/novels. I just got a bad habit of that it sound good in my head but is different when put down (even with re-reading the draft).
tiaf
I can’t say much to the story as I only read the first chapter. But I think you need a bit more description of location. The transition between the scenes is abrupt and needs more elaboration. Some words are wrongly used. (Grave focus should be either grave concern, or grave look)