I'm trying to combine something like Frieren with porn.

MakBow said:

What a title buddy, but the link dont work

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LeilaniOtter said:

Here is my problem. *^^*
You're doing almost total porn but I'm not quite seeing where the story will be crafted. There's no real, I guess, substance to this apart from the familiar sexual juices. What is the story really all about? It can't just be about the last human being on Earth trapped in a world of demis and furries. There needs to be something to keep me reading; characters that WON'T quite act the way we expect them to, or a foil, or some kind of journey that needs to take place, or some conflict to resolve.

I love what you've written, don't get me wrong here. It's really good!

I just need it to...go somewhere more than the sex. Hopefully, your work will reflect these factors as the book goes on. For now, I'm a new reader.

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E.Z.KAI said:

Ty for your Feedback and that very helpful constructive criticism!
I have like a bigger picture in mind, but im not sure wether you want to know it or not, since youve said you’re going to be a Reader (yay, thank you!).
Do you want to hear some potential spoilers concerning the bigger picture of my story?

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AliceMoonvale said:

Good luck. Stories that are essentially porn with more than 50% sexual content get nuked.
Duck 'n cover kids!

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LeilaniOtter said:

Not at all. I'd like to be surprised. If you're eventually going to address these slight shortcomings, (ha ha phrasing!) I'm happy. I love monster girl stories anyway.

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Worthy39 said:

Here's my opinion, I can't say I really read or watch anything like porn, but I can say I've seen some stuff where they add sexual content, but it has a meaningful impact on the story. You don't need some absolutely massive twist to make it interesting.

I refuse to read your smut, nothing personal, I just don't read smut, but the dragon guard seems a bit... counterproductive. If she's there for a gag, that's fine, but generally, if you want good characters, they need their time in the spotlight, and that can better be done in groups where characters aren't competing for the protagonist's attention, even if the attention they want isn't real love. When characters compete for another characters attention, it starts to feel like that's their whole personality, and while characters aren't necessarily the most important thing, they make a story significantly better, and if the guard is ALWAYS there, it's hard for them to get time to actually be interesting characters, unless his guard doesn't care about his sexual interactions.

Right now, I struggle to see much plot in your description, it seems like you're either setting up a loop, a harem scenario, or a love story of him falling for his guard. A loop is fine, a lot of stories do that, and while it's not something I would do, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you can keep the loop interesting. And if you go with the harem route, then basically just make sure the characters are interesting, and you'll do fine. If it's the guard, just throw in some mandatory drama, and people will probably eat it up. That's all I really have to say, I didn't read your work, so I can't exactly be specific.

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FRWriter said:

Whoever approved this was either completely high or just passed it through, lol.

Make sure to add some non-smut chapters before it's too late... the smut limit was 50%, I believe?

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Anonjohn20 said:

Was there a hard limit in the rules? I just remember reading that the story needed a plot and couldn't be all erotica.

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