A GxG Novel 😈

Hi and bye!

I'm like that one lazy bum on this Forum who only ever looks at the synopsis and the cover if they don't like the genre.
In this case, I dislike GL as much as I dislike HL, if not more, I'm passionate about BL, so I'll just look at it with a cursory glance. Thefore, take my words with a grain of salt.
If I was interested in the Genre, I would still not read the story, because the synopsis seems very muddled. Sure, a synopsis is a bit of a master class in writing novels (I don't have the recipe for success either), but in your case, the way it is written, it seems as if we are in for quite a ride.
Because if that's what your very short blurb text ends up looking like, what about the actual chapters? And I don't mean to say they are bad - in fact, I haven't checked - but that is my first impression and it's not good.
For the cover: You said it was a placeholder, so it doesn't really matter. But why not crop it a bit, so it doesn't pull those two girls into a noodle?
For the Synopsis: It has too many mistakes, like the tense is fluidly changing throughout, there's numbers including and below twelve that have been written as digits, there's more than one "&" in the middle of the text and the contents seem very uncoordinated.

16 year-old Ariya HollowBright & 15 year-old Daphne Jonas are star-crossed lovers. One is reluctant while the other is playful.

Click to expand...

That tells me their age and their (likely) most prominently featured character trait. But the age isn't relevant, at least you give me no reason to think so and their characters should be something either smoothly strew into the synopsis or left to the reader's discretion to find out in the actual book.

Ariya only loved her family's bakery & archery, until Daphne moves into town. For the past 5 months, unfamiliar dreams have plagued Daphne without explanation and meeting Ariya wasn't in her love horoscope.

Click to expand...

Why not just have a very short paragraph for each of them, so we have a bit of insight into their characters. Then put one sentence in, with the fact that both of them had never expected to fall in love with the other? Like this, we get one passionless throwaway line about their apparent character traits and now each half a sentence of something that is so little, it could have just not been there to begin with. And the other half of each description is their respective version of: "She didn't expect to fall in love... but then she did."

When the truth is revealed about their past Ariya & Daphne must participate in a game, the 12 Labors Of Hercules.

Click to expand...

Grammar screams from the world beyond, as it has been brutally murdered and wishes for someone to avenge it.
And the last sentence is okay in my eyes.

I don't know, just my two cents on the matter.

TheKillingAlice said:

I'm like that one lazy bum on this Forum who only ever looks at the synopsis and the cover if they don't like the genre.
In this case, I dislike GL as much as I dislike HL, if not more, I'm passionate about BL, so I'll just look at it with a cursory glance. Thefore, take my words with a grain of salt.
If I was interested in the Genre, I would still not read the story, because the synopsis seems very muddled. Sure, a synopsis is a bit of a master class in writing novels (I don't have the recipe for success either), but in your case, the way it is written, it seems as if we are in for quite a ride.
Because if that's what your very short blurb text ends up looking like, what about the actual chapters? And I don't mean to say they are bad - in fact, I haven't checked - but that is my first impression and it's not good.
For the cover: You said it was a placeholder, so it doesn't really matter. But why not crop it a bit, so it doesn't pull those two girls into a noodle?
For the Synopsis: It has too many mistakes, like the tense is fluidly changing throughout, there's numbers including and below twelve that have been written as digits, there's more than one "&" in the middle of the text and the contents seem very uncoordinated.

That tells me their age and their (likely) most prominently featured character trait. But the age isn't relevant, at least you give me no reason to think so and their characters should be something either smoothly strew into the synopsis or left to the reader's discretion to find out in the actual book.

Why not just have a very short paragraph for each of them, so we have a bit of insight into their characters. Then put one sentence in, with the fact that both of them had never expected to fall in love with the other? Like this, we get one passionless throwaway line about their apparent character traits and now each half a sentence of something that is so little, it could have just not been there to begin with. And the other half of each description is their respective version of: "She didn't expect to fall in love... but then she did."

Grammar screams from the world beyond, as it has been brutally murdered and wishes for someone to avenge it.
And the last sentence is okay in my eyes.

I don't know, just my two cents on the matter.

Click to expand...

Synopsis are indeed tricky~.

TheKillingAlice said:

I'm like that one lazy bum on this Forum who only ever looks at the synopsis and the cover if they don't like the genre.
In this case, I dislike GL as much as I dislike HL, if not more, I'm passionate about BL, so I'll just look at it with a cursory glance. Thefore, take my words with a grain of salt.
If I was interested in the Genre, I would still not read the story, because the synopsis seems very muddled. Sure, a synopsis is a bit of a master class in writing novels (I don't have the recipe for success either), but in your case, the way it is written, it seems as if we are in for quite a ride.
Because if that's what your very short blurb text ends up looking like, what about the actual chapters? And I don't mean to say they are bad - in fact, I haven't checked - but that is my first impression and it's not good.
For the cover: You said it was a placeholder, so it doesn't really matter. But why not crop it a bit, so it doesn't pull those two girls into a noodle?
For the Synopsis: It has too many mistakes, like the tense is fluidly changing throughout, there's numbers including and below twelve that have been written as digits, there's more than one "&" in the middle of the text and the contents seem very uncoordinated.

That tells me their age and their (likely) most prominently featured character trait. But the age isn't relevant, at least you give me no reason to think so and their characters should be something either smoothly strew into the synopsis or left to the reader's discretion to find out in the actual book.

Why not just have a very short paragraph for each of them, so we have a bit of insight into their characters. Then put one sentence in, with the fact that both of them had never expected to fall in love with the other? Like this, we get one passionless throwaway line about their apparent character traits and now each half a sentence of something that is so little, it could have just not been there to begin with. And the other half of each description is their respective version of: "She didn't expect to fall in love... but then she did."

Grammar screams from the world beyond, as it has been brutally murdered and wishes for someone to avenge it.
And the last sentence is okay in my eyes.

I don't know, just my two cents on the matter.

Click to expand...

What is HL?

c37 said:

What is HL?

Click to expand...

Hetero. I feel like I'm the only person in the world who uses that, but it's gotta have a name as well.

Assurbanipal_II said:

Synopsis are indeed tricky~.

Click to expand...

They are. But at least put in some effort, that should suffice (somewhat).