Still not for me, but this is much better. The only other bit of advice I'll offer is that, occasionally, your narration becomes too personal. While third person doesn't have to be cold and detached and you can mix your character's thoughts with the removed point of view, you occasionally overstep and break into first person. When Eric thinks of his father's advice and says, 'Thanks,' is a good example. Later on when Eric's first response to Siegfried's arrogance is, 'Yikes,' is another. It's a bit strange and jarring, and, if I were you, I'd do what I could to smooth it out so that your readers don't feel like they're being pulled from one point of view to another.
