Recent content by kIlLaR_bEh

Ah. So you do know what story you’re telling. I asked what breaks her. You gave me hunger, doubt, envy, and the quiet rot of being overlooked so long you begin to agree. That is not cliché. That is truth. I asked what he fears. You showed me a man afraid not of monsters, but of being one. That...

Ah, yes. Another world of realms. Angels. Demons. Elves. Magic. Wonders. I have seen them carved from starlight and stitched from clichés. You say Nia’s hands burn. That her gift is not so simple. Good. Simplicity is for mortals who believe power should be kind. Pain makes her real. But then...

Alright. So we’ve got a cosmic tree shedding for the first time in eternity, already biblical. The stick falls, fuses with a dinosaur, not a T-rex because of course not -- that'll be too predictible, then that dino gets meteor’d into a coma, only to wake up in the Industrial Age as a tyrant...

I added a second draft from your guys's feedback. Thank you for this, I a genuinely thought it was good because I had no experience with writing fight scenes. Would appreciate if you could check it out, and let me know if i'm going the right direction, or if it is still missing the mark. Thanks

fair does this context help with the dialogue, even slightly? Caelus is not just a ring fighter, but a sadist psycho, growing up in a well-known rich family rotting from the inside like the Harkkonnens in Dune, so is intentionally monologuing, letting his prey squirm. He is supposed to feel...

sorry like the tv show invincible Short clip of the full monologue

Thanks for that! Just have a question. I accept that the dialogue sucks. Will go through to fix that. But just some context, which may or may not help, Caelus is twice mc's size and has powers that enhance his physical strengths, which is why mc isn't fighting to win. The moment he picks up mc...

Hey, so I wrote a chapter, it is part of my novel, The God of Mischief and Madness. Would really appreciate if you could give me your opinion. It is a fight scene, but more focused on the characters than the combat. Let me know if pacing is too slow. Its my first proper fight scene, so don't be...

Originality is a myth. You shouldn't write just to be original. Especially when your already taking a genre that has been done to death, like mecha. The tropes exist for a reason. Instead of blindly trying to subvert them, think about what you want to say. What you want to say about the world...

“Alright, colour me intrigued. Collared Acolytes? Vanished gods? The heist of a Legendary artefact? You're basically giving me the original plot of Zootopia with the tame collars, meets fantasy Oceans Eleven. That’s spicy. I like spicy. Your setup’s strong--there’s an engine here: runaway...

i'm currently winning on the last day of holidays, procrastinating over all the homework i didn't do

Ok... you've got my attention. Tell me more.

i'll take cookies

I don't mind much the AI, and it makes sense that it can't come up with anything new as all its knowledge is based on existing human knowledge. But hacker aliens? really? What is your explanation for them knowing human computers and being able to hack it? Alien tech would be completely...