Jay_Nyctbloom's latest activity

You're welcome, and as long as the critique helped you with something, then it served its purpose. You've also clearly learned something...

I guess I now understand the preference aspect of first vs third person. Most of the novels and stories I read are in first person. When...

Thank you for your reply and review. I appreciate your honesty, and I'm sorry to hear it didn't land right with you either. I'd like to...

Thanks for the extensive review. I appreciate it. I think you're right in saying the scene feels rushed, and that's probably due to my...

First off, as a matter of personal preferences, I'd drop this real quick, as I'm not overly fond of reading first-person stuff. This...

Thanks! It did feel as if I was missing something; the emotion of the scene is lacking. I think this version does a much better job...

Needs more emotions. MC feels like a wet plank. It's got the conversation, It's got the descriptions. (y) Needs what the MC is feeling...

careful, last time i posted something like this, the post being flagged and removed, :blobrofl: :blobrofl: :blobrofl:

You're right, without context it's hard to grasp. Context: Ex-pornstar has died and been reincarnated as a succubus to save a dying...

Hey everyone, I just wrote my first real sex scene for my first novel, and I don't really have any friends who will give me feedback on...

Only relation is the name Jay :ROFLMAO:. I've gone by other names in gaming (none of which were male) BUT I can firmly say with...

Thank you for your feedback. While writing the first chapter, I spent more time wrestling with POV and tensing than I did writing it...

To be honest I was impressed by how well you write this story based on chapter 1. For me the pace is perfect, and you narrate Sophia's...

Hello to anyone who may pass by this. I am an amateur writer who decided to start because story crafting DND was too much fun for a...