Recent content by GardenerKing

That's a mistake on my side. He was offered to be crushed violently or to let go and die peacefully, but I made Richard interrupt him later and forgot to remove that part entirely. He's just trying to stand, but thanks for the laugh, LMAO. I guess I will have to drop more hints or thoughts to...

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Gimme the megabonk here, please. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1868262/godborn-celestial-dragon-god-themed-xianxia/

This dialogue looks like a visual novel's text in which you press next, next, and then next again. I recommended merging it with your prose. Example: I have no idea what any of these are, and I believe most of the reader don't as well. The only one I found on Google is Avolok—Can't...

Eyy, I would love to hear your thoughts. Godborn Celestial Dragon [God Themed Xianxia]

Thank you for the feedback. The conversation with Supreme Dao is confusing becuase it relays it's will through the heavens under it. I'll try to find a better way to adjust that one, but nothing similar happens after that chapter.

I can't really help with that one since I struggle with it myself. Just do your best and try to show as much as you can until you feel tired. You can slack on some stuff, but your chapter should be more like 60% show and 40% tell. You don't need to apply it to everything as well. When you find...

First things first, if a prologue can be skipped, then it shouldn't be there at the first place. Second, there seems to be no tension or stakes at all. Show not tell, through thoughts, actions, or whatever you want. Or tell and don't over explain. Example: To ------------ Again, show his...

Your writing is fine, but your biggest issue is the exposition dump and the telling. It's lacks a strong hook because none of that matter to the reader yet. It's equal to opening the first chapter of a manhwa to get the usual: 10 years ago the gates opened, monsters attacked, the armies fell...

Because

Remove that and rename the chapter name to "Chapter 1: The future sight" or something similar if you want to give it a title. I also find the first scene useless. I get it's Fusi viewing the future or in the future, but it's too short and contextless. This entire interaction feels like a plot...

I don't know what you tried to say there, but God... Having 2 coworkers talking about Isekai with your Mc wanting nothing but a lazy, uninteresting life has shot your novel in the foot. Then you have a random man pop out of nowhere without proper setup, just to have him attack the Mc for God...

I will give it a read, so feel free to send a dm