Recent content by 7ydy

thanks for this!?? i really find the feedback very valuable. i'm gonna take a look at what i've written and find it's core and reshape it based on what you've written here. i don't appreciate the "faux" progressive, gag, but i think that i should rewrite the first few chapters from scratch. i...

jay is a bad name cuz its obviously short for something

half the people on this thread should be banned.

chapter 2 should literally be your glossary. if i were you, i'd copy all that info into glossary and delete chapter 2 and just write scenes with the characters, describing them along the way. "looking out on the city confidently" and i'm kinda shrugging your prose was good enough that i wanted...

nothing happened in chapter 1 so i read chapter 2 and somehow less than nothing happened

i like your story. sometimes i worry that a story is AI, but your story has a soul which is what i look for in books other people have said theres not a lot of descriptions of the people or places.., i agree. i think if you want to go back and describe the academy, the weapons, the uniforms, i...

uploading my long-trunked novel every couple days :) having fun coming back to these old characters and sharpening the prose. get at me with the feedback! ;) ty! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1503749/gavin-graves-hell-to-pay/ i'm very bad at tags! if you think some tags don't fit, am...

this was hot, but the first couple paragraphs threw me off the narrator says she *remembered*, so that means the narrator is remembering all that stuff from the future... so like are we gonna catch up to the narrator's presence? and the *next* paragraph is *another* flashback... unnecessarily...

if u dont like writing; why are you writing?

they're adults lol

bumping to ask: good "men loving men" tags, especially for not smut?

my biggest advice for writing is to write the interesting parts. skip the boring stuff and start where it's interesting. we dont need to know the 1000 year history leading to a big war if you can show us what the boots of the soldiers smell like. in fact, the *less* history we know the *more*...

im physically cringing lmfao all nazis burn in hell lol

is this a crypto fascist story? joe brandon reference.,,,

the whole story is set in the afterlife. it's not heaven, and it's not quite "hell" ... not quite a "ghost"... just a citizen